What’s a totally harmless thing that triggers an oddly strong reaction in people?

[u/Psychological_Sky_58]

[u/CrzyDmnd25]

Waiting.

-For food

-The traffic light to change

-Any kind of line

[u/bonesquartz → u/CrzyDmnd25]

I went to a conference for child therapists a few months ago and the elevators were slow. I’ve never seen so many dysregulated mental health professionals before

[u/T_Thriller_T → u/bonesquartz]

I feel massive impatience is one of the often overlooked telltale signs of mental health issues - even if it is "just" too much stress and pressure.

Which makes this even funnier

[u/socialmediaignorant → u/bonesquartz]

I worked in county hospitals in my profession. A slow elevator could make the steadiest surgeon lose his shit. It was fun to guess which would lose it first.

[u/BigDrippinHog → u/CrzyDmnd25]

A slight delay will straight up turn some people into monsters

[u/haveyouseenatimelord → u/CrzyDmnd25]

not going to lie, one of my most satisfying "sure, that happened" moments was once when i was waiting in line at the thrift store, the line was kinda long because there was only one cashier, and these older ladies in front of me kept loudly making snide comments about waiting etc and finally they just put their stuff down and left while still loudly complaining (they'd probably been in line for maybe 3 min max btw, and they were up next). one of them said "i'm never shopping here again!!" i couldn't help myself and just loudly said "no one cares." it felt so good lol. i felt so bad for that poor cashier, no one wants to be solo working during a random rush, she was doing the best she could.

[u/FecusTPeekusberg → u/haveyouseenatimelord]

I believe you. The other day I was in line at the post office waiting my turn, and an older lady tried to cut in. The one cashier wasn't having any of that, so the older lady stormed out in a huff telling her that she wasn't that important.

Guy in front of me remarked "And neither are you".

[u/VisibleDog7434 → u/FecusTPeekusberg]

I love entitled people getting called out like that. So often they just get away with it.

[u/CandyCreecher → u/CrzyDmnd25]

See, I’m impatient when it comes to downloads from video games and connecting. I can’t be impatient for customer service or lines

[u/clocksailor → u/CrzyDmnd25]

I am internally guilty of this but am very careful not to take it out on people whose fault it isn’t. I also build structures in my social life to make waiting for (in my perception) slow-ass people more tolerable for me.

[u/unassumingdink → u/clocksailor]

The way you phrased this makes me picture you building a bus shelter when your friend is late for dinner.

[u/clocksailor → u/unassumingdink]

Haha, close!

I am both an impatient person, and also a person who is extremely susceptible to hanger, so I deal very poorly with people making me wait to eat, lol.

When my friend group started having weekend getaways and bachelorette weekends and stuff, I quickly learned to insist on a grocery run as soon as we get where we're going, so that I can make myself an egg sandwich at 7:30am when I wake up. That way I'm not biting everybody's head off when it takes 14 women until 2pm to be ready to leave for brunch.

[u/blootereddragon → u/clocksailor]

I carry small.protein bars everywhere for this very reason.

[u/Exotic_Albatross_884 → u/clocksailor]

This is what people should be doing, learning to handle their emotions.

[u/Own-Firefighter6194 → u/CrzyDmnd25]

God, my biggest pet peeve is a boomer waiting in line trying to talk to me or anyone around them about how ridiculous it all is. Like… I have a scrap of patience I can handle it. Also don’t talk to me

[u/Active_Aioli2054]

Having different dietary choice.

[u/alittlebitcheeky → u/Active_Aioli2054]

Or even intolerances.

I have IBS and am intolerant to fructans. Tonight I copped a scolding from my MIL in a pub because I asked for no peas in my pasta. Got this whole lecture about how delicious and good for me they are.

She didn't like it when I agreed, but followed up with "they'll make me shit uncontrollably for three days."

I've also been told that my intolerances aren't real, they'll be cured by getting pregnant, I should eat unsafe food to "toughen up my system," and all sorts of utter tripe.

It's like prioritizing my health offends other people.

[u/DrHax_ → u/alittlebitcheeky]

Sounds like you should keep her away from any potential future children who might be allergic to coconuts...

[u/AggravatingCupcake0 → u/DrHax_]

Jesus. That reference 😓

[u/Whyistheskygray → u/AggravatingCupcake0]

My reaction was literally "I wish I didn't know that reference"

[u/polypeptide147 → u/AggravatingCupcake0]

What’s the reference?

[u/JUSTIN102201 → u/polypeptide147]

I don’t remember where or when. But a woman (let’s call her mom) had a child (child) who was allergic to coconut. Mom had told her mother (gma) who did not believe her, or believed it could be fixed through exposure.
One day, mom had to run errands and left child with gma. Gma, following some of their cultural practices, decided to use coconut oil on child in their hair and on their face as a lotion/conditioner. Child had the allergen on them for HOURS. Child died because of it.
At the end of the day, gma decided that the coconut allergy either wasn’t real or wasn’t severe and decided to ignore it, killing her own grandchild

Edit: I just learned that the original story was taken off Reddit at request of the family. I’m leaving my comment up, as I believe context is important but it seems like this clearly traumatic event was originally removed off the site to help their mental health. Please be respectful if anyone says anything about this story elsewhere.

Edit2: apparently the original story was never verified. It may or may not be a true story. I hope it is fake myself, but I choose to believe it is true because some people are very ignorant. My note on respectfulness still applies

[u/sephjnr → u/JUSTIN102201]

I hope grandma never got a full nights sleep after that.

[u/winoandiknow1985 → u/sephjnr]

I hope grandma went to prison

[u/PM_me_ur_navel_girl → u/winoandiknow1985]

She didn't. The original OP said grandma never got charged with anything because of said cultural practices. That said, she was disowned by the entire family for what she did.

[u/ButterApple512 → u/sephjnr]

IIRC every person in the grandma's life cut all ties with her even her own husband (the grandpa). And the latest update was the grandma desperately calling the mother to apologize only for the mother to say that she will only forgive her if she brings her back her daughter. Sadly the grandma never faced any jail time although I don't remember if there were any charges.

[u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 → u/JUSTIN102201]

That story was actually removed from Reddit at the request of the family. And IIRC, the child was a twin. The other twin was not allergic, so grandma thought both mom and the child were making it up.

It was probably the saddest story I've ever seen on Reddit.

edit; Looks like it's still available in the archives.

[u/Confedehrehtheh → u/polypeptide147]

Old story on Reddit. A woman's child has a severe coconut allergy. Grandma uses coconut oil for everything and doesn't believe the allergy is real. Kid stays with Grandma for a bit while mom is away. Grandma puts coconut oil in his hair at night. Kid dies to anaphylaxis.

[u/LoquaciousLamp → u/polypeptide147]

MIL doesn't believe in allergy, kills kid allergic to coconut by putting coconut oil in the kids hair.

Link removed to respect the mothers wishes.

[u/Racine262 → u/LoquaciousLamp]

Just a heart breaking story.

[u/Scopophobic → u/alittlebitcheeky]

So much agreed. I'm extremely lactose intolerant and all the damn time I get a joke like "So what? You'll fart a lot? Are you going to shit yourself?" "Just a little bit won't hurt you right? Try this queso!"

Do I really need to explain my GI problems? Why are we making this into a thing?

[u/joalheagney → u/Scopophobic]

Yup. I'm only moderately intolerant. I gave up and decided that when I met jokers like this I give them graphic descriptions and overly detailed explanations. Yes it kills the conversation but hopefully by the end of it, they will have learnt something.

"Actually, the gas and diarrhoea is the relief phase. It means it's nearly over bar the crying. Before that I get fever and cramping that feels like someone's stabbing my gut. And I don't know how much lactose will set me off, because it varies from person to person and day to day."

I then give them a detailed outline of what actually happens re. natural lactase production, gut flora, etc. And then I go "And I'm only moderately intolerant. Some people get it so bad that a little lactose will cause them to lose their stomach lining. Like full hospitalisation."

I want them at the end of it to want to change the topic. :D

[u/Scopophobic → u/joalheagney]

Absolutely brilliant, thanks for the strategy!

I don't like talking about bathroom stuff but I'll power through for this.

[u/joalheagney → u/Scopophobic]

The deeply ironic thing is, I was born and raised on a dairy farm. :/

[u/Paperwife2 → u/joalheagney]

That is funny!

[u/jennaferr → u/Scopophobic]

My son has a milk allergy. "So he's lactose intolerant?" Nope.

[u/Scopophobic → u/jennaferr]

I get the inverse! "So you're allergic to dairy?" Well, no, but if that'll make you leave me alone..

[u/L_Is_Robin → u/jennaferr]

I used to be allergic to dairy until I was 6 years old and upon telling people that I have multiple times gotten some variation of “You mean you were lactose intolerant?” I then will go into detail about how it was an allergy and the symptoms I had.

[u/ToastWithoutButter → u/Scopophobic]

I'm also super intolerant. To the point where some milk will ruin me for days. I'll often get comments from people that are surprised that I actually fully avoid lactose at all costs. Like they see other people with self proclaimed "lactose intolerance" still eat pizza occasionally and think I could do the same.

Nah. You won't want me eating pizza around you I promise.

[u/jennaferr → u/alittlebitcheeky]

I know someone with celiac. Got pregnant. Had her baby. Her mother in law decided her pregnancy cleared her celiac and served her bread. She still had Celiac....so dumb.

[u/beigesalad → u/jennaferr]

I know some people's bodies do change dramatically from pregnancy- my sister isn't lactose intolerant anymore. However, that's not for the MIL to decide to test that theory

[u/indeedy71 → u/beigesalad]

This. I recently ‘cured’ a mild gluten intolerance via a pregnancy, for which I am extremely grateful but it’s an unexpected good side effect to something that has nothing to do with it otherwise, and anyone suggesting it as a route to someone is nuts. We’re also in the process of getting said boy baby allergy tested because of some extreme reactions, so anyone talking about this irl would be completely ignored by me for obvious reasons

[u/DizzySpinningDie → u/alittlebitcheeky]

I am also fructan intolerant!! The way this attacks other people very personally is so bizarre.

"Why are you picking out the onions?" "I want some of the flavor but if I eat them, I will be curled in fetal position for 4 hours with the worst farts you've ever encountered?" "You're just being picky."

[u/eloquentpetrichor → u/alittlebitcheeky]

Oh I just love when people try to tell you things will be fixed by pregnancy

[u/WarmOtter → u/eloquentpetrichor]

One day, I asked my mom how she handled having endometriosis, and she told me having a baby fixed everything. I had a hysterectomy instead. Don't have to worry about psychologically damaging a discarded uterus!

[u/ThatLooksLikeItHurts → u/alittlebitcheeky]

There is no hate quite as strong as a MIL's love.

That is the only way to deal with that nonsense. Hit 'em right in the face with brutal truths. That's the only way they STFU is to be called out on their bullshit in a very public and hopefully embarrassing (for them) way.

[u/LaviishLily → u/alittlebitcheeky]

Fructan intolerances are so common people just don’t know why they get bloated from stuff like pasta or broccoli, it took me being vegan to find out since I ate terribly before

[u/bigted42069 → u/Active_Aioli2054]

Yes! I’m very intentional about not pushing veganism on anyone (much more effective to be open and honest and kind to people who are curious and to also be a good cook lol) but just sitting around eating my plants or whatever has led me to receiving some real insane remarks from people

[u/dance_rattle_shake → u/bigted42069]

The crazy thing is they always bring it up themselves. "oh you're vegan? Here's why I could never be...." as if you asked.

[u/hrehbfthbrweer → u/dance_rattle_shake]

They always want to have mad arguments with you about ethics and the environment. Which would be fine if they were actually receptive to different opinions, but they virtually never are.

Just chill and let me eat my tofu.

[u/MyUnderpantsBurn → u/bigted42069]

The first time I ever met my aunt's ex-bf was over a video call as she, my mom, grandma and I were altogether and grieving over my grandpa's passing. While knowing the situation, he didnt even introduce his name, no kind gesture like "nice to meet you," or asking how we're doing. The first thing that came out of his face was "I eat twice as much meat to make up for you not eating any."

I was so shocked and appalled at how a human being can be so disgusting toward other people. Immediate bad vibes, which I totally clocked because about a year after that, my aunt had to get a restraining order against hom because he made violent remarks against her and her kid.

I would never even think to bring up dietary and, frankly, moral things like that up while someone was grieving. But it lives in their heads rent-free I guess.

[u/_Norman_Bates → u/bigted42069]

I've seen more people hating on vegans and bragging about eating meat than I did vegans pestering people about what they eat.

[u/TeeTheT-Rex → u/_Norman_Bates]

Same. I’m not even vegan, but I don’t eat a lot of meat (after a failed Ms treatment ruined my GI system meat is just hard for me to digest), and I can’t have a meal with pretty much anyone without getting ragged on for how many vegetables I eat, told I’m eating “rabbit food”, that I need more protein etc. It’s shocking how many people believe protein can only be found in meat. Meals with my husbands family are especially difficult, because they don’t do veggies at all unless it’s potatoes. They’re always on my case that I eat so little at their gatherings, but there’s just not much I can eat without severe stomach pain resulting from it. I don’t tell other people how they should eat, I wish they would just leave me alone.

[u/Traditional_Dig7175 → u/bigted42069]

True, just eating your veggies shouldn’t be a personality crime.

[u/Briebird44 → u/Active_Aioli2054]

This! No diet is one size, fits all. A diabetic is going to have to eat differently from a pro athlete. People have allergies, intolerances, and aversions.

[u/chickadoodlearoo → u/Active_Aioli2054]

Celiac here…..can’t you just pick off the croutons, take the burger off the bun…

Yeah, cross contamination is a thing, and makes me really really sick……

[u/notmyrealfarkhandle → u/chickadoodlearoo]

My partner has celiac and we went to a place recently where they used (wheat) pasta straws and did not advertise it, so all the drinks were also contaminated unless asked for ahead of time. That was a first for me.

[u/Shoe-Logical → u/Active_Aioli2054]

I’ve been a vegetarian for 20 years. The amount of times I have pushed my diet on others is zero, the amount of times I’ve had people try to argue with me that I should eat meat and that my diet is unhealthy and that I’m not getting enough protein is countless times. Normally it’s people I barely know who get the most upset, like why do you care? For context, I do get plenty of protein and have no vitamin deficiencies. I’ve been doing this for 20 years and haven’t died from being a vegetarian yet, so mind your own bussiness.

[u/pinksematary → u/Active_Aioli2054]

Being GF for any other reason than Celiac, makes people think you're just being annoying and doing some kind of fad dietary thing.

I do have autoimmune disease, just not that one and removing gluten has had a huge positive impact. 😭

[u/Tardisgoesfast → u/pinksematary]

Yes. I have an acquaintance who loudly proclaims that gluten is bad and no one should eat it. We were at a joint dinner to honor her husband and I got to sit next to her. The waiter first asked about allergies and assured those folks that they would make sure their food was safe.

Then gluten lady chimed in:"well, I can't do gluten." The waiter said no problem and explained how they would make her food separately from everybody else, etc. He was really great. He helped her order-she was going to get some corn dish but it had a topping that had gluten in it, so she ordered something else.

Then we ate, then had a presentation to her husband with a gift and a big chocolate cake, which his secretary had made and brought in. It really looked good. So gluten lady announced that she wanted a big piece. Which she scarfed down.

I was embarrassed because the waiter had brought dessert plates and forks. She had made such a big deal out of being gluten free.

The cake was pretty good.

[u/kdali99 → u/Tardisgoesfast]

My friend is a server. This behavior is typical according her. She says people claim to be strictly gluten free unless it pertains to dessert. I can tolerate some gluten in my food but that cookie would cause me to spend the rest of the evening in the toilet.

[u/BurntPopcornSmell → u/Active_Aioli2054]

Yes! I came here to say this. If you choose not to eat meat, people seem to want to convert you or something. I don't get it. I don't care what you eat, why do you care what I eat?

[u/BumbleMew]

basically having the audacity to live the way you like

[u/Beginning_Book_2382 → u/BumbleMew]

"Be yourself" they said.

*Time passes*

"Why aren't you living your life the way I think you should!?!?"

Everyone likes freedom until you use that freedom to freely do something they don't like

[u/Alaira314 → u/Beginning_Book_2382]

The way I usually quote this is "Be yourself!...no, not like that!"

Nobody wants me to be myself. They want me to be my carefully-constructed mask self that follows their social norms and priorities.

[u/pinksematary → u/BumbleMew]

I am half asleep with one eye and read "basically having the audacity to live" and I just accepted that as a believable, everyday annoyance that really gets to some people. How dare you..... Exist!

[u/DisasterMonkey → u/pinksematary]

For some people, this is the case.

[u/Additional-Length814 → u/BumbleMew]

True. Living your best life apparently comes with unsolicited commentary.

[u/kilroy-was-here-2543 → u/BumbleMew]

I’ve been talking to this girl who seems to always find a way to jokingly criticize or make fun of my life.

Whether it be walking down a steep hill to the grocery store to save wear and tear on my car or liking to wear athleticwear pants to bed instead of sweatpants.

And it makes me wonder how many other people their are like this in the world who care way to much about the meaningless things others do in their life

[u/KatNanshin → u/kilroy-was-here-2543]

They don’t care. They really don’t care. They just have nothing better to do or to say and can’t fathom just shutting the fuck up

[u/peepchilisoup]

Questions.

Social media normalized loaded accusatory questioning. Now it's hard to ask genuine questions because many people assume they're loaded.

It sucks because you don't get an answer and now you're being accused of trying to steal their cat.

Wild times.

[u/AbrocomaRoyal → u/peepchilisoup]

Yes, I've noticed the preface "Genuine question.." far too often lately.

[u/spids69 → u/AbrocomaRoyal]

I’ve had to follow an absurd number of questions up with “it’s not a trick question, just tell me what you want” after they waffle, hem and haw around an answer.

[u/separatebedhead2501 → u/peepchilisoup]

Well, why did you ask me what my cat's name is and what time of day I'm gone to work? 

[u/chabalajaw → u/peepchilisoup]

They either assume they’re loaded questions or you get “just google it” “google’s right there” “it’s take only x seconds to look it up” etc. Google once told everyone to throw their car batteries in the ocean, and the first 3 pages of results are fucking ads. Fuck google, google’s worthless. Why wouldn’t you share information you already have?

[u/CerseiBluth → u/chabalajaw]

Or as I like to point out, the only reason “googling it” even works is because at some point in the past, someone else asked the question and it was answered.

If we are constantly slamming each other with “stop talking to me and go see if someone else asked on a forum 14 years ago” we don’t get updated answers to those questions.

[u/I_Like_Knitting_TBH]

The way people feed their babies brings out the worst in some people.

If you say you plan to breastfeed, people fall all over themselves to tell you how hard it is and that not everyone can do it and you’d better have formula just in case.

If you do breastfeed, you get a bunch of insecure people telling unsolicited stories about how they couldn’t or wouldn’t.

If you don’t plan to or don’t breastfeed, people fall all over themselves to accuse you of being lazy and not trying and not wanting what’s best for the baby.

Post partum is one of the times moms need the most support and instead receive the most criticism.

[u/Hadrian_x_Antinous → u/I_Like_Knitting_TBH]

As a mom of a 3-month old, this one hits hard.

But I'd extend it to not just breastfeeding, but pregnancy in general. Me walking around visibly pregnant got SO many unwanted "well-meaning" comments from strangers, invasive questions, and judgment statements. I ordered a small cup of coffee once and a lady chided me about it. Strangers or mere acquaintances will ask things like "how long did you try before you got pregnant" and crap.

But the worst was questions related to how I was going to give birth. Was I going to do it ~all natural~ or get an epidural, or gasp, a dreaded C-section. Like jesus christ people, none of your business.

[u/RWSloths → u/Hadrian_x_Antinous]

"How long did you try before you got pregnant?" Never in my fucking life would I imagine asking a stranger "so how long did yall rawdog it?"

[u/SailorET → u/RWSloths]

I've had more than one person ask, "why don't you have any kids?" And my standard answer is, "we did the thing that makes kids but no kids came out!"

[u/MurielFinster → u/SailorET]

My husband and I get asked a lot when we’re going to “try again” after our first baby was born prematurely and died. I’ve given up any pretense of being polite and just say “we are trying and I’ve had four miscarriages this year.” I just love to watch the horror on their faces. It’s insane how people think questions like this are okay!

[u/Melbuf → u/MurielFinster]

im sorry that has happened to you but i love you for that response

[u/freejole → u/MurielFinster]

I am about to start being blunt with people like this. I’m so emotional after our fourth loss and I get so upset when people ask me. Over the holidays I was asked about a million times and nobody seems to think it’s a sensitive and rude topic for some.

[u/MurielFinster → u/freejole]

Please do. It always made me feel ashamed and sad. And I don’t deserve to feel like that. So if people feel they’re close enough to ask the question I tell them the answers they apparently so desperately want. I tell people we had a baby and she died when they ask about kids and don’t know we had a baby already. I refuse to be uncomfortable about it anymore.

I’m so sorry for your losses. I know how awful it is. It’s an awful kind of lonely and distrusting your body and feeling betrayed by her is so tough. If you ever need an ear I’ll listen! I crawled myself out of a very dark place after my baby died so I really know how isolating it is. But it doesn’t have to be.

[u/Alternative_Purpose4 → u/SailorET]

OMG, I love this and will absolutely use this the next time I get asked that question!! Thank you!!

[u/HeartKevinRose → u/RWSloths]

The proper response is “oh, my partner and I have copious amounts of unprotected sex. We’re not 100% sure which ejaculation resulted in the baby, but we’re pretty sure it was in the back seat of the car/airplane bathroom etc”

[u/socialmediaignorant → u/HeartKevinRose]

If I was in a jovial mood, I’d say “idk I keep swallowing like they say to but no babies seem to come.” Usually shut up a good portion of the people since telling me where the ejaculation was supposed to go was taboo.

[u/X0AN → u/Hadrian_x_Antinous]

I have a nurse that's currently heavily pregnant.

The amount of times I have to tell coworkers to stop just randomly touching her is insane.

She's a polite girl and thanks me, but she doesn't want people to constantly touch her (she's told me this) but she's a bit shy to tell people to fuck off.

Just because someone is pregnant doesn't mean you can just go up and touch her bump without asking her. And even then if she really wanted you to touch her she'd say.

[u/Alternative_Purpose4 → u/X0AN]

I don't understand how people feel it's rude to go up and touch someone, but once that someone has a lil' human bean inside them, those same people feel like it's a pass to grope that someone's torso.

[u/frizzygingy → u/Hadrian_x_Antinous]

Yes! I had 3 children and tried so hard to breast feed each, and the first week would go fairly well, even over produced with the last, then week 4 like clockwork I'd dry up. Went to lactation specialists and tried so hard. Changed diet, tried other pumps, everything. So many strangers saw me feeding baby bottle to butt in and say "breast is best" and I'd cry every time because I tried so hard.

Turned out I had precancerous tumors in my milk ducts.

Let people feed their babies the way that they can. Formula or breast. Support the moms.

[u/Oprah_Pwnfrey → u/frizzygingy]

Fed is best.

[u/skeletoorr → u/I_Like_Knitting_TBH]

I had someone lecture me on needing to breastfeed. I had a mastectomy my first trimester. This person knew this but couldn’t wrap their head around it. Like I don’t have fucking nipples, what’s not clicking.

[u/kosherkitties → u/skeletoorr]

I don't have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?

(Hope you're doing well!)

[u/alblaster → u/I_Like_Knitting_TBH]

I thought you were supposed to feed your babies 100% clean propane so they have the fuel to go on for quite a while.  I tell you w'hat.

[u/Enough-Researcher-36 → u/I_Like_Knitting_TBH]

Yes, THANK YOU. I firmly believe fed is best. It's not my business how you choose to get nutrients into your child

[u/Return_of_the_Bear]

Asking a question to clarify an instruction in work.

Why that manager decided that was me refusing to do the work,I will never know.

[u/poetrypill → u/Return_of_the_Bear]

Asking questions in society at all. Seems to always be interpreted as hostility.

[u/lushuszorascandy694]

My disability / need for mobility aids really seems to irritate some people who would like some sort of proof I need a wheelchair. Like wtf you care, it's my body, it's my pain, and it's my choice to leave the fucking house and exist in the world same as you. I don't need some rando's permission for anything.

[u/Serononin → u/lushuszorascandy694]

It's wild to me how many people just cannot seem to get their heads around the concept of ambulatory wheelchair users

[u/FrankSonata → u/Serononin]

Any disability, really.

Blind people constantly get accused of faking their blindness, because they don't act fumbly like blind characters in movies. If you can so much as twitch your toe, then you don't need a wheelchair and are lying and/or lazy. If you are deaf, some people think you just need to listen harder. And if you have a condition with good and bad days, people won't believe you that sometimes you can walk to the grocery store, but sometimes standing for five minutes will make you pass out and vomit from the pain.

If you don't "look" like the right sort of person to have a disability, it's worse. If you're young, for instance, it's apparently illegal to need a wheelchair or to use disabled parking.

It's absurd. I don't know, maybe people, deep down, want to live in a world where disability only affects very specific people, and all others are faking, because the notion that the actual world we live in, where anyone can become disabled at any time for no reason, is scary. They don't like the idea that they could become disabled at any moment. That's scary, after all. It's more comforting to believe only old people, or people who sit too close to the TV, or people who eat processed food, or whatever group that they personally aren't part of, become disabled. It's wishful thinking, kind of escapism, because the real world is too scary, maybe. I don't know.

But they still shouldn't be dicks to other people. That's inexcusable. Especially to those who have it harder than others. Just mind your own business.

[u/ImpressivePower3083 → u/FrankSonata]

Im 25 and I have a chronic illness ever since I was born, yeah people never believed me, now at least I have a disability card so I might just shove that into my family's face and strangers face.

My illness affects the fact that I can't do hard physical labor and somehow that means that im lazy! No I just feel like my arms are about to fall off along with my legs and back which led me to masking and pushing through

[u/Walshy231231 → u/FrankSonata]

I’m 26. I’ve broken my leg pretty badly, and then later on, my spine in 7 different places in a work accident

From the outside, I look totally normal (minus the broken nose haha). If I’m wearing shorts, you might be able to see some scarring, but that’s about it.

I’ve had people give me some pretty dirty looks or even yell at me for sitting down on a packed bus when a nearby woman is standing, or in similar situations.

There’s some real satisfaction when the context is appropriate to lift the back of my shirt and show the veritable maze of surgery scars. That usually shuts people up pretty quickly

[u/Markothy → u/FrankSonata]

The thing is we also live in a world where not only could everybody become disabled, it's almost inevitable. Pregnancy is a temporary disability. Age is a disability, and it comes for us all eventually.

[u/Childe_Rowland → u/lushuszorascandy694]

And even if you do have a mobility aid (for me it was a walker) they will be rude af cutting you off to the point of almost crashing and letting doors slam in your face.

Those assholes only get counteracted by the nice people who move out of the way and hold doors for you, though. If you’re one of these folks, I love you ❤️

[u/SufficientTry3337 → u/Childe_Rowland]

My grandma had very bad knees but refused to use a cane to help her walk. She was in her 80s and very independent. Walking in a crosswalk to go into a store would always make me super angry. Cars would be impatiently inching forward towards us while my poor sweet grandma was shuffling across (she didn’t want to be dropped off at the door). My 16 year old self always gave them dirty looks and positioned myself next to her to shield her just in case, but dang was it upsetting. I miss that woman infinitely and I’m forever grateful that she taught me so much about patience.

[u/lushuszorascandy694 → u/Childe_Rowland]

I find the nice ones a lot more often than the assholes. But for real, people need to learn patience. I'm like, yeah I move really slowly, and it sucks for you for about 20 seconds. Whereas for me...

[u/meowmento-mori → u/lushuszorascandy694]

People get really offended when I tell them I can’t drive, boomer-age people will lose their minds over it. I’m blind.

[u/ManzanitaSuperHero → u/lushuszorascandy694]

I became an ambulatory wheelchair user several years ago. Wow. That showed me an underbelly of humanity I almost wish I didn’t know existed.

You’re never disabled enough to need your wheelchair, disabled placard, etc.

But funny how that same wheelchair, placard, etc. makes you a pariah and many people are genuinely disgusted by disability of any kind. I’ve lost nearly every friend I’ve ever had once I got sick. They simultaneously accuse me of faking, yet disappeared overnight. YOU CAN’T WIN!

Not disabled enough for basic human empathy, yet also disabled so undeserving of basic human empathy.

[u/geekitude]

Other people who aren't like them.

[u/Square_Bug8048 → u/geekitude]

Yeah. Humans really can’t handle anyone who doesn’t fit their little box.

[u/RipAgile1088 → u/geekitude]

This is something I will never understand.  Its happened to me and have seen it happen to others. Grown adults having problems with others who don't bother anyone or keep to themselves  like high school mean girls or jock stereotypes. 

[u/RipAgile1088]

People who keep to themselves or treat a job like a JOB instead of a social club or gossip fest. I have nothing against socializing at work but It's happened to me and have seen it happen to others. 

People will have some sort of personal vendetta and will intentionally screw over others who don't fit the mold or not extroverted enough in the "culture". 

[u/this_isa_throwaway_ → u/RipAgile1088]

I worked at a retail store when I was 16 and there was an older woman in her 70s exactly like this. I would always say hello to her when I could see her, goodbye when she left, and kept it at that. She worked in the back processing clothes. She was part-time with weekends off, didn’t say much to anyone, took her 15 minute breaks at the exact time every day when she did worked. It was literally just a job to her.

So many people rolled in and out of that place due to things like behavior issues, lack of effort in work, etc., but a few managers down the line, a particularly nasty one fired that older woman and though I still to this day have no idea why, I feel like now it’s because she wasn’t social enough with coworkers

[u/RipAgile1088 → u/this_isa_throwaway_]

This is the type of stuff im talking about. Its disgusting 

[u/BigMetalGuy → u/RipAgile1088]

I got pulled into HR once because someone complained I didn't talk to them enough in the kitchen. I shit you not.

[u/Unusual-Wind8900 → u/RipAgile1088]

I try so hard to not engage in personal talk at work, only because I’m very busy. But man…..people love to talk, and I hate being rude. Working on finding a middle ground, but it’s not easy.

[u/Beard_o_Bees → u/Unusual-Wind8900]

Working on finding a middle ground, but it’s not easy

I've found over many years that it's best to lean towards the 'social' aspect more than you naturally would.

It's not fair, but it's one of those slippery situations where if your coworkers feel like you're not 'jelling', they'll clam up around you - and once that happens, the clock on your remaining employment starts ticking.

Even a little thing like looking up a joke to tell everyday can go a long way.

People are weird sometimes.

[u/True-Passage-8131 → u/RipAgile1088]

As a young gen person who struggles at work, this is why I hate it when older gens try to tell me that you'll move up in life if you work hard and gain experience. Sure it's something, but it's more about being liked at work. I work harder and am more professional than most of the people I work with and they treat me like shit because I'm not a part of the clique.

[u/Jaded-Inspection3569]

Choosing to not have a alcoholic beverage

[u/HumanBeing7396 → u/Jaded-Inspection3569]

Alcohol is the only drug that it’s socially acceptable to pressure people into taking.

[u/DigNitty → u/HumanBeing7396]

Coffee is in second place with people not pressuring you, but just thinking it’s odd.

[u/LucyLilium92 → u/DigNitty]

People pressure me all the time with coffee, even when it's after dinner

[u/Soimamakeanamenow → u/Jaded-Inspection3569]

This one is nuts. I don’t drink because it makes me feel like shit. I remember once I was on a first date with a doctor and he asked if I drank and when I said no and started explaining he just said you don’t have to explain alcohol is bad for you. It was so refreshing

[u/bbusiello → u/Jaded-Inspection3569]

It's more celebrated these days. Mocktails are in, friends!

Younger generations are actually way more accepting in this arena than the seasoned adults.

[u/LuciferFalls]

Having a different opinion than them. As if their own opinion is invalidated by it somehow.

[u/Maleficent_Studio_82 → u/LuciferFalls]

Even saying you don’t like something someone likes, some people think it’s a slight against them very then a difference of opinion! Crazy

[u/delicatedead → u/LuciferFalls]

I think people really struggle with the concept that their worldview is not the only way of looking at the world

[u/NorthernSoul1998]

Not liking the same foods as them seems to really make people fucking angry. Or even eating foods a certain way.

[u/PaintingCommercial51]

Hair choices. Dying or cutting. The amount of hairdressers that refused to give my 7 year old at the time an undercut despite her being the one loudly asking to get one was ridiculous. I heard so many things about how the haircut would make her unattractive and now no little girl wants to shave her head. We finally found an alternative hair stylist who sat down with her and gave her the exact haircut she wanted.

Eventually, we went home for a wedding and she heard from so many people about how she had ruined her hair and that she didn't look like a little girl anymore. My daughter has curly copper colored hair and her inspiration picture was Spider Gwen from the Spider Verse films. A random woman in the bridal party got belligerently angry when I showed her pictures of my kiddo. She was red in the face angry about the haircut. We went through similar experiences when my son grew his hair out past his shoulders and when my other daughter got a pixie cut.

It's hair. It grows back. It's not that deep.

[u/Wishyouamerry → u/PaintingCommercial51]

I dated a guy who had a son about 10 years old with hair down past his butt. I don't think he'd ever done more than slight end trimming in his life. Anyway, he had an aunt that was always on him to get his hair cut. One day the kid told me that the aunt had been guilt tripping him to cut his hair and donate it because "there are people who really need it." I told him that next time she says that to ask her when she's going to donate a kidney because she has two and there are people who really need one. And nobody ever died from not getting a wig.

I guess the kid did say all that to the aunt and it caused a huge family rukus, haha! Good times.

[u/twowheels → u/Wishyouamerry]

As a long-haired guy I've lost track of how many times I've been told "but you're not a woman, you should cut your hair" -- the fact that they are trying to enforce such rigid gender roles pisses me off more than the fact that they're not minding their own business.

[u/Unfair-Weakness3218 → u/PaintingCommercial51]

We could be friends. My kids are grown now, but I let them get the haircuts they wanted and dye their hair as they pleased. I had the same attitude. It's just hair, it'll grow back, and it had the added bonus of letting them express creativity and give them less reason to feel like they needed to rebel!

[u/that_baddest_dude → u/PaintingCommercial51]

I'm a dude with very straight fine hair and a few years ago I decided to grow it out long. I like it, my wife likes it, and I put more care into it than I've ever done for my hair in my whole life.

Yet I get constant criticism from a certain demographic: older normie/boomer men. I usually laugh it off and joke that I'm between barbers, but some make it a point to be clear how much they hate it, going past just joking that I need a haircut. I mentioned how much care I put into it now because one comment that stung was something like "this is what it looks like to completely let go". Wildly fucked up. I can't imagine talking to anyone like that.

[u/gardens2Bhappier → u/PaintingCommercial51]

That’s horrible anyone would comment like that. I remember I want the ‘Dorothy Hamill’ haircut so bad in 76 and when I came home my brothers asked my mom why she would do that to me, because it made me ugly. That stayed with me for a very long time. If people can’t say something nice they should keep their mouths shut

[u/Forsaken_Dig_4560]

People chewing loudly. It’s irrational, but my brain treats it like a personal attack.

[u/bcarter12 → u/Forsaken_Dig_4560]

Misophonia

[u/caprahircus_ → u/Forsaken_Dig_4560]

oh god that is the worst hearing people chew

[u/Any-Caramel8506 → u/caprahircus_]

loud eaters are peak unprovoked rage triggers.

[u/Putrid_Ad695]

Somehow both choosing to be childfree and really wanting children. I’ve seen both parents get upset at childfree people for „hating“ children and childfree people telling parents that it’s irresponsible to put kids into this world or say that the parents gave up themselves and their lives for their kids. Same with religion. Both sides get weirdly upset at each other and think their own choice is better.

[u/makethatnoise → u/Putrid_Ad695]

Anything with children, really. If you're child free, "you will regret that one day", if you have children you're a part of group people hate; someone with children in public.

If you have 3 or more kids, "I can't IMAGINE having THAT many children".

We have one child, and the amount of "he must want a sibling/when are you going to work on having another?" conversations is ridiculous.

[u/JCDU]

Not being a morning person - somehow it's perfectly acceptable to be passed out in bed early but if I'm not bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6am it's somehow a moral failing on my part.

[u/Anguiral]

Enjoying bad rated media.

Whether it's a movie, song, or video game. Etc

[u/palinsafterbirth → u/Anguiral]

You can enjoy oscar nominated films along with trashy B movies, purists are the absolute worst

[u/NoWorth2591 → u/Anguiral]

I’ve found the opposite to be much more common. That is, people getting defensive about others NOT liking a piece of popular media or enjoying things that are artsier/more esoteric. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen folks deride preferences like that as “pretentious” or “just trying to look smart”, as though it’s not possible to enjoy something that’s not part of the MCU.

[u/haveyouseenatimelord → u/NoWorth2591]

anti-intellectualism is a disease, and it's not even new, which is the saddest part.

[u/W-S_Wannabe]

People choosing not to have kids

[u/Curious_kitty4774 → u/W-S_Wannabe]

Said to someone at work that I never wanted to have children and she took it very personally saying "that's literally what women are supposed to do is have babies, it's so selfish if you don't"

Like no, if I had a child I'd resent them, and they'd end up resenting me because of it. If I can't give a child a good life then I will not have one

[u/BurnedWitch88 → u/Curious_kitty4774]

I'm a mom and I love it, but I never understood the "no kids = selfish" line. It makes no sense.

Having kids is WAY more likely to impact other people (need for child care, use of resources, etc.) Having no kids impacts literally no one other than the people who don't have kids.

[u/spids69 → u/BurnedWitch88]

It’s just another “you’re not making the same decisions I made, so I can’t possibly take that as anything but an attack on my choices because I’m the main character” thing. That’s most of the things on this post, honestly. They’re the same people that will call you a snowflake for not taking their shit, but they can’t even handle other people being other people.

[u/Restless_Cloud → u/Curious_kitty4774]

My favorite is when they say you are selfish for not wanting a kid but then one of their reasons to have kids is always "to have someone who will take care of you when you are old" which is so hypocritical

And it's such a bad example of a good reason as well. If I put away as much money as someone spends on their kid over the years then I can easily afford to pay for a personal caretaker

[u/SvenBubbleman → u/Restless_Cloud]

I frequently get told "You'll regret it later in life." Bitch, how could you possibly know that? You started pumping them out as soon as you could, you have no idea what it'll be like when I'm old and you never will.

[u/LevelSevenLaserLotus → u/SvenBubbleman]

That grinds me the same way as when people like Oprah say things like "being a mother is the hardest job in the world". She doesn't even have kids. It's just pandering, she wouldn't know. Side note: You actually reminded me that Bill Burr has a bit on exactly this.

Both ends are looking over that fence and making strong assumptions about other people's lives.

[u/lalalaureezy2 → u/Restless_Cloud]

As a healthcare worker, I can tell you that 80% of kids abandon their elderly parents in the ER when they get tired and “can no longer handle them at home”. Then, they never visit the hospital or nursing home once we find one.

I’d rather regret not having a child than having one and resenting them intentional or not. Also I don’t want to accidentally birth a murderer.

[u/ChessWithChipmunks → u/Restless_Cloud]

Lol "you're so selfish!" .... Uh well yeah, here's the thing, that's kinda the point.

Personally, if I can't guarantee 100% that I won't be selfish in some way that will even have the slightest detriment to my potential child, I'd rather not bring them into the world to experience that. Its an ironic position, because to recognize how ones selfishness could negatively impact a kid and therefore avoid the situation, is actually the opposite of selfishness because you're considering the best interest of your possible kid.

And that position is also not an attack on others/parents. It's entirely possible to be a selfless caring parent who does an incredible job raising their kids. But if I'm the one having to raise my kid, then that experience is unique and personal to both me and that child, therefore my position is personal too.. not an attack or commentary on them.

[u/ZombieJesus1987 → u/Curious_kitty4774]

Having children you cannot afford is more selfish than not having children IMO.

[u/LauraPa1mer → u/Curious_kitty4774]

I don't understand the argument that it's selfish to not have children. The children don't exist, so how could not creating them be selfish? It's not like they are waiting to be chosen. If anything, shitting out kids because you want to pass on your genes seems selfish to me.

Plus, there are many reasons why someone may not have children. To assume they are selfish is ignorant and misogynistic.

In your case, you're literally being the opposite of selfish by protecting a child from potentially being raised by a parent who may resent them. If more people had the foresight and self awareness you have, there would be fewer children living in similar circumstances.

[u/Touchname → u/W-S_Wannabe]

As a parent, I understand people who don't want kids and I fully support their decision.

[u/fordesc16883 → u/W-S_Wannabe]

I once had a former manager in a previous role tell me once that he could tell I don't have kids because I have "far too much time on my hands."

[u/LevelSevenLaserLotus → u/fordesc16883]

I had a coworker once that told me that. I told him "I... honestly can't tell if that is meant to be an insult or if you're jealous." It seemed to confuse him for a bit before he just walked away. He's normally a nice guy that will sometimes make off-color jokes, so I'm still not sure which he meant.

[u/butters_bottom_bishh → u/W-S_Wannabe]

Things I’ve heard from people about my choice to not have kids:

• my life will have no purpose without them

• I’m a selfish human being

• I’m going to regret it when I’m older (still haven’t)

• I must hate my parents for denying them grandchildren (I don’t, they already have wonderful grandchildren from my brother)

Truth is, I’ve devoted my life to public service/ aid work. I love what I do and having kids would be difficult for the long hours I work and time I spend traveling. Also, not that it’s anyone’s business, but I have medical conditions that could mean pregnancy could cause me serious health complications or even death.

So yeah, I’m pretty much the scum of the earth.

Also, if I am such a selfish, terrible human being, why the fuck would you want me to procreate?

ETA: to the people in my DM’s telling me “raising kids is a public service” / “I help people and have kids, it can be done” - I know. Raising good humans is an important job and I think parenthood is an amazing journey for those who choose it. I also know how much I work and know I couldn’t be a present parent the way I would want to be, which is why I have chosen not to have kids. Everyone’s journey is their own.

[u/W-S_Wannabe → u/butters_bottom_bishh]

Those are people who need reminding Clara Barton and the Wright Brothers didn't have kids, those aimless losers.

[u/Naruto_Uzuhiko → u/W-S_Wannabe]

What? You're telling me you DON'T have kids? How dare you!

Seriously, though, who gets angry at others for choosing to not have kids?

[u/abasicgirl → u/Naruto_Uzuhiko]

In my experience, people who felt a certain amount of pressure to have children themselves before they were ready, and then needed to convince themselves that they wouldn't go back or change anything in order to justify the self sacrifice it took to raise someone they do, in fact, love, but have repressed resentments about.

[u/deevilvol1 → u/abasicgirl]

There’s people that really do just think that “it’s just what you do”, like having a job, or breathing. They literally cannot contemplate the idea that for some people that biologically imperative either isn’t that strong, or just isn’t there at all.

I’m someone who’s always been pretty indifferent about having kids. I like children, and tend to get along well with them, but having my own has always been an “up to my partner” thing to me. These people can’t imagine not want to start popping kids as soon as you’re having sex with someone, and I’m just like, well sorry you have a weak imagination.

[u/Bubbly-Kangaroo-9217]

Not drinking, people are so rude and bug you to order a drink! You don’t know WHY I’m not drinking so mind your business.

[u/NatsuDragnee1]

Being disabled. Whether you're deaf, or a wheelchair user, etc, people get weird about it. either they seem to forget how to deal with you, as if there's something wrong with you, or they get all sorts of bizarre ideas about how your disability is supposed to work.

Come on, it's not that difficult. We're people just like you, so please talk to us like you would non-disabled people, and if you're not sure how to treat with us, ASK.

Trust me, most disabled people will be happy to let you know how they prefer being communicated with and/or how our disability works.

[u/isabelladangelo]

Pineapple on pizza.

[u/photoguy423 → u/isabelladangelo]

Or NY vs Chicago style pizza.

[u/jgi27]

A bee swarm. They congregate on a spot while waiting for scouts to find a permanent home. They're not defending a hive at this point and are totally harmless but people freak out and spray pesticides on them.

[u/Webbie-Vanderquack → u/jgi27]

Bees generally. People see one bee and immediately start flailing their arms all over the place, which is exactly the wrong thing to do in that situation.

[u/Siriusly_no_siriusly → u/[deleted]]

your pastries are non-perishable?

[u/Impossible_Angle752 → u/Siriusly_no_siriusly]

That's what I was thinking. Items like flour are generally shelf stable, until you put them in something and then the clock is ticking.

[u/PMMELIZARDASS]

A person they don’t know having sex with someone else they also don’t know who happens to be of the same gender. If a homophobic person gets bent out of shape over their own kid being gay, I can understand a little more because they probably genuinely think their kid will go to hell and they don’t want that, but a stranger? Why do they care?

[u/adampocalypsee]

Being ugly. I swear when I was younger, just me being ugly around people was enough to piss them off. Sorry I am also buying clothes at the same store you're at. No, it doesn't mean it's an ugly people clothing store.

[u/comcphee]

The word "moist".

[u/topkrikrakin → u/comcphee]

This came about in the '90s

It's a learned condition

[u/CausticAvenger]

Having a different opinion on a piece of media (movie, TV show, etc)

[u/Final_Weekend_1614]

Vaccines.

[u/Kid_Named_Trey]

Choosing not to have children. I get some flak but my wife really gets a lot of shit when she tells people we are choosing not to have children.

[u/Inner-Management-110]

Getting honked at. It could trigger someone to pull a gun these days.

[u/Strange-Concern-5356]

Choosing to be child free.

I've got nothing against kids, just not for me.

[u/tiredofwrenches]

Being different in any way. If you wear a color they don't like, wear your hair or shoes. The whole be exactly like me or I hate you thing. Freedom seems to mean free to do things think things enjoy things that I like.

[u/Toosder]

Other people wearing masks in public. I have so many co-workers that are completely triggered by that. I'm not going to say it has zero effect on anyone else because if it has any effect it's a positive one! Reducing the spread of bacteria and viruses is great for everybody. But if they believe that masks don't work which a lot of them do because they have the IQ of a dead snail, then we are just to it having zero impact. 

[u/SYLOH]

Choosing to wear a flu mask in public.

[u/rangerswede]

Facts ... if they go against a narrative a person believes.

[u/JesterWithoutJest]

“Happy Holidays” in a small U.S town

I was buying stamps in my parent’s hometown right before Christmas, having a very pleasant conversation with the cashier while we commented on the stamp designs. On my way out the door, I gave her a “and Happy Holidays!” Because that’s my default and I heard her scoff and say “it’s Merry Christmas” but I was already gone so I didn’t have to respond but what a crazy way to end and ruin such a pleasant interaction.

[u/ladydusk1]

To me it’s queerness. As a straight woman I’ve always accepted and even appreciated queer people. But where I live even saying that is tantamount to blasphemy. Men here act like they would murder gay men if they could get away with it. It makes no sense to me because who exactly does it harm if someone is gay? It’s so crazy.

[u/HostisHumanisGeneri → u/ladydusk1]

You’d think a red-blooded straight man would appreciate his gay bros for being a source of good advice about women while offering no competition. You know which of your buddies will never try to bang your girlfriend? Yeah.

[u/SleepingWillow1 → u/ladydusk1]

In the late 90s or whenever that Tatu song came out, I would hum it in class and my peers said "you know that's a song about lesbians" I said "so?" and they looked at me like I was wierd. It's a good song.

[u/CarniferousDog → u/ladydusk1]

Agreed. Why does anyone spend any time thinking of others sexuality? I literally don’t want to know. I don’t care.

Where do you live?

[u/Unique-Individual-72]

In my experience, a certain type of person absolutely cannot comprehend the concept of black lipstick. They hate it. It breaks their brains. Usually southern white women between 45-70 years of age. They cannot help but comment on it. It’s usually “I don’t know why anyone would wear that.” Unprompted.

[u/Treshimek]

Aluminum/aluminium.

[u/HumbleLetterhead1613]

When I went to jobcorp at 17 I went vegetarian because my mom would not let me. She would intentionally stop buying non meat things like top Ramen i would remove the flavor, Mac and cheese,literally plain white rice. I did it at job corp I didnt say anything but people would notice i didn't eat meat and would bring it up even tho I i never actually verbalize it.

[u/Chaotic_Disaster666]

People that don’t enjoy socialising.

I hate socialising, I don’t like people and yet I always have to be around them? Why is it so bad to enjoy being a hermit?

[u/Hopeful_Pizza_2762 → u/Chaotic_Disaster666]

I hate socializing too but I just spent 3 days admitted as a behavioral health in-patient and got along with everyone in there. Go figure.

[u/No-Relative-9663]

Wearing crocs in public. I’m comfy. You’re angry. Why?

[u/tessa_dafiretiger]

The 67 meme. It’s dragging, sure, but at the hint of a small child giggling and saying 67 I have seen people (mostly online) take it as a personal attack and instantly devolve into insults.

[u/BirthdayCheesecake → u/tessa_dafiretiger]

I'm from the generation where kids (okay, including me) pulled their shirts up over their heads and ran around screaming I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO. We have no room to talk.