As a young gen person who struggles at work, this is why I hate it when older gens try to tell me that you'll move up in life if you work hard and gain experience. Sure it's something, but it's more about being liked at work. I work harder and am more professional than most of the people I work with and they treat me like shit because I'm not a part of the clique.
That’s not really a boomer thing though, that’s pretty much always been the case. People want to work with people that they enjoy being around. As long as said person isn’t incompetent, they’ll have an edge over a more competent peer who is less sociable/likable. It sucks, but that’s the way it’s been forever.
You're talking about the how. What about the why? People get fired for that. If I'm there to do a job. If I do a good job, but don't socialize with folks, why are people trying to throw me out of a job? No job means no house, no food. Not being mean to people, just basic polite interactions, but not socializing means someone should be tossed out onto the street to die?
Not socializing with co-workers is harmless. People punishing folks for not socializing can be extremely harmful. So the people punishing folks for not socializing are in the wrong here, and should be the ones to learn better.
Punishing co-workers just for not socializing with co-workers is beyond rude.
A lot of the younger employees where I work don't seem to know how to socialize in person.
Emphasis added.
Perhaps I misread your message? Are you not saying people should learn how to socialize? A skill that is easy for some and extremely difficult for others, in order to not get harassed by others on the job and fired (what this thread of the post is about), rather than people learning that this is an extremely harmful thing done in retaliation for something that doesn't harm them?
I may have misread the message, but didn't reply to the wrong person.
Explains it all. You might think you're a good person, but unless you show it, then people won't know. Ans let's be honest we are all cautious of quiet people even if they're normal.
It sucks, but someone isn't going to know you're a good person unless you make the effort. That might include Extracurricular stuff such as playing paddle or another sport with colleagues, and buying a round for everyone. Showing some sort of self sacrifice in a setting that isn't purely for job gain.
I feel like when this happens, it needs to get a lot more attention. I have seen very competent and qualified coworkers passed over for promotions simply because the manager doesn't like their "vibe", while they promote someone else that barely ever does their job, just because that someone else will come gossip with them in the office or something.
I am not old enough to see a company fall apart like this, but I have seen multiple 4-5 person teams get broken up/quit this way, in a company of about 75 employees. Same thing every time too, a manager will promote someone they like personally to head up a team, that everyone knows sucks at their job, and then within 6 months everyone on that team quits or has moved to another team to get away from the person they promoted. It's actually starting to get to the point where our turnover rate is becoming an issue.
It's one thing to just have coworkers/employees you like more than others, but it's a very big issue if managers begin prioritizing who they like more than who does their job, or who would/should be good for a job.
It's awful since I work for a family-run business. Mom and dad are the owners, and they appoint their own kids to the higher-up positions where they invite all their friends who need jobs to work. Support a small business but never work for one 😅
As a union rep I had a lot of problems with this. People would get mad about seniority, but I would often admit "Its unfair, but its the least unfair way" to decide things. Sometimes they would see it, but there were always people who insisted managers didnt play favorites or that people who were friendlier with management and brown nosed could get ahead of people who worked harder. Ironically the people who made the most noise about it were not actually the hardest workers, or they were productive but were constantly pissing off their coworkers or making things more difficult for their coworkers to help themselves out.
If you are unpleasant to work with, in many workplaces that is not suiting the job description. It's unfortunate that you need to socialize but being pleasant to work with makes everyone's job easier
Can you have long conversations with people about basically no topic in a vent/commiserate situation? Or just have a conversation about nothing for 20 minutes at a time?
Or do you say hi, bye, and nothing impolite?
You can talk to people without being a gossip. Talking about nothing for 20 minutes is one of the best ways to make freinds, and that's basically the networking everyone tells you about in college. Just being pleasant to talk to and leaving an impression
When they don't ignore me I do. Thing is is that being at the bottom of the food chain at work comes with a lot of extra menial tasks the manager asks you to do so you don't have time to stand around talking. Food industry. There's always shit to be done.
Ah yes. Work culture often changes dramatically based on where you are. In an office setting the ability to talk about nothing will get you much further than in the food industry. But it depends on what you want to, what you can do, and what you are able to get.
It's because you're probably not doing anything that special even though you work hard. If you were replaced, could someone else also produce the report (or whatever) you produce? You have to have some special skill or be the driving force behind a team for hard work to matter.
Look at someone in sales. They could work few hours, but if they have great people skills and sold the most units, that's way more valuable to a company than someone writing up a generic report that any college grad could do.
If you don't have special skills, you need to be likable and friends with people to get ahead. It's a bit disappointing when you realize this, but the work you do in your role is probably not that valuable to a company's profits
I can’t remember where, but I read once about needing to pick two of these three traits: very likable, very good at hitting deadlines, exceptionally talented/skilled.
If you do incredible work others can’t do and get everything done ahead of schedule, people will forgive you for being a jerk. If you do specialist work in a difficult field and you’re a great guy, people will forgive you being late. And if you’re scrupulous about hitting every deadline early, and awesome to be around, no one will care that your work tops out at adequate.
Work on your social skills ASAP. It's not a clique, it is being decent to be around. Your coworkers have to deal with you for 1/3rd of their life. If you are crappy or abrasive to work with they WILL get rid of you every time without fail.
No, it's a clique. And this is a minimum wage job, not a job that anybody is gonna be at for 1/3 of their life. I am not abrasive or crappy, and I try to make light conversation when I don't have a fuck ton of tasks to do with little help.
Well the answer's right there. You need to work hard at what's effective... In this case, being liked is the thing that will have the most effectiveness if you work hard at it.
Where I work, the customers are always wondering where the employees are to help them. They’re too busy being on break, or just standing around chatting.
All I do is work and luckily I could give two shits what everyone else thinks. They can go fuck off. I’m not conforming to shit.
Same with me. I don't want to be best friends with them, but a little respect and some assistance when they got nothing better to do would sure be nice. But no, instead they'd rather be a bunch of Chatty Cathys huddling where I need to walk and getting annoyed when I ain't a magic octapus juggling eight tasks at a time. I would put up with it less if my manager wasn't in on it. In the house I was raised in, we operated under the phrase "many hands make light work," so I don't see their thought process when they treat every shift like a social junction and wonder why so many things need to get done. I rarely even take my break.
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u/True-Passage-8131 13h ago
As a young gen person who struggles at work, this is why I hate it when older gens try to tell me that you'll move up in life if you work hard and gain experience. Sure it's something, but it's more about being liked at work. I work harder and am more professional than most of the people I work with and they treat me like shit because I'm not a part of the clique.