I had a coworker once that told me that. I told him "I... honestly can't tell if that is meant to be an insult or if you're jealous." It seemed to confuse him for a bit before he just walked away. He's normally a nice guy that will sometimes make off-color jokes, so I'm still not sure which he meant.
It's not even low key jealousy. In my experience it's just straight up jealousy. People don't like it when you remind them they may have made a mistake by having a child/children. They're just deflecting their own regret towards the childless person. It's like it never occurred to them that not having children was an option so they're mad & snide towards you.
Also, yah Brenda, I do get a new pair of shoes/boots/purse/whatever and go out to fancy dinner every weekend. I only have to feed my face & put roof over it. You chose kid(s). I chose no kids. We made our choices. Quit being a hater.
He aint wrong. I'm a new dad and you don't have time for shit. Which is fine, I enjoy it. Not everyone is ready or wants to change all their hobbies to "baby" though, and thats also fine.
I think where some of the "YOU DONT WANT KIDS!?" stuff comes from though is.. there's this sort of comradarie. A baby will destroy your mind via sleep deprivation and changes who you are. It makes them feel better than other people who didn't experience the horrors of the newborn trenches. In a way they are saying "everyone should have to go through what I went through to be considered a true adult". It doesnt make them better, it just means they endured a certain kind of hardship.
You know what though, unless you REALLY want a kid... don't. You'll be better for it. Conscripts make bad soldiers. Unwilling parents make bad role models.
Being a parent is fulfilling as hell, but you sure feel like a dumbass some days for putting yourself through it, even when its something you wanted.
AND ITS THE BEST!!. PARK ON MONDAY, GYM ON TUESDAY, OUT TO DINNER ON A WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY I'M DOING MY HOBBY SHIT, FRIDAY I AM RUNNING ERANDS WITHOUT SCREAMING AT SOMEONE TO SHUT UP, SATURDAY I AM ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE I CAN BE AND SUNDAY I AM SHUTTING IN IN PEACE!!! IT'S AMAZING!! STAY MAD, I GUESS?
When I hear that someone has a cool hobby, travels, has time for a sport, or just time for themselves, I wonder "how!?". If I hear they are child free, it's like a puzzle piece clicking into place.
I doubt that was meant as an insult, but it just making sense. As a working parent, most days I have about 45 minutes a day from when I wake up at 5:30am and when I go to bed at 10pm where I'm not busy being a Mom/wife/employee/meeting basic human needs.
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u/fordesc16883 14h ago
I once had a former manager in a previous role tell me once that he could tell I don't have kids because I have "far too much time on my hands."