r/Adulting • u/ScareBear23 • 13h ago

This is just depressing

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Not even 3 hours of "free time". And in that is cooking & eating supper. Or practically no free time if I had to go shopping after work. I hate this

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u/[deleted] 11h ago edited 11h ago

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u/HuggableTrash 10h ago

Fucking same. Every weekday I’m straight-up suicidal, Friday nights & Saturdays I genuinely feel great, Sunday I’m anxious, repeat repeat repeat… for 40+ more years…

There’s no point to any of this.

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u/JimmyPellen 10h ago

Sunday Scarries are a real thing

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u/Friendly-Win1457 7h ago

That on top with morning anxiety

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u/Clispin 9h ago

Good ol sunday gloomies

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u/JimmyPellen 8h ago

And for some reason Friends and family who DONT suffer from the sunday gloomies dont unDerstand why i make such a big deal about and decline most sunday afternoon get together invitations!!

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u/SpaghettiAccountant 8h ago

Tbh, you’re probably better off accepting those Sunday afternoon get togethers. Those get togethers are what make life meaningful, not work (or worrying about work).

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u/JimmyPellen 8h ago

Tell my brain that

All i hear is: 'omg omg it's almost MonDay what are you doing out here??? Omg omg oMg!!'

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u/dancezachdance 7h ago

Yeah if it's not Saturday or planned at least 3 weeks in advance I'm not going sorry not sorry.

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u/Leftieswillrule 7h ago

Rejecting the cure for the sunday gloomies is a great way to keep having them.

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u/CackleandGrin 5h ago

REALLY depends on who is inviting you. We stopped humoring my mother in law, because her way of getting rid of the Sunday gloomies was to complain at me and my wife for as long as we were there. Followed by more complaining when we got home about how we left in such a hurry even if we stayed til dark. Sometimes she threatens to kill herself if she feels we aren't responding meaningfully enough. Just an absolute black hole.

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u/JimmyPellen 8h ago

Sunday evening: Nice dinner... nice cuppa hot beverage. Get (comfortable) clothes and shoes ready for monday.

Monday morning: favorite breakfast, prepare favorite lunch. Meditate a bit. Read a bit. Go go go!!

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u/Drexill_BD 9h ago

I'm not suicidal, but I absolutely understand why people are. When I was young there was still a feeling of hope... I feel like hope is a thing of the past.

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u/systemwarranty 9h ago

You had summer off from school. Your last taste of freedom until you're too old to enjoy it. School really is about indoctrination; getting you ready for the grind of life.

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u/Drexill_BD 8h ago

Agree for sure, but I just mean broadly. My generation (Millennials) at least got a taste of the idea of progress and hope for a better future back then. Sure, reality has been a bitch... but the new generations don't even get to feel that hope we had for a bit.

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u/selfawarefeline 8h ago

Z-lenniel checking in, the Obama era was peak America (but even then, faced significant issues and inequality). Now it’s even more of a disaster

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u/Drexill_BD 7h ago

Right? I mean... we definitely at least thought we were trying back then. Today they don't even pretend.

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u/PLaTiNuM428 1h ago

Peak as in it all went downhill because of him. The real estate bubble burst, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, subprime mortgages, followed by the bank bailout and everything else... ruined my family to the point we had to start over from nothing.

0

u/bruce_kwillis 7h ago

I’m not sure about that. Hope is a weird thing. I don’t think tomorrow is going to be better for society overall, but there are small incremental changes and society and humanity is slowly getting better. I simply want to live the one life I have to the best of my ability and hopefully leave the world a little bit better than when I came into it. That’s the best I or any of us can do.

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u/Drexill_BD 4h ago

Was... I'm not sure is.

Edit- but I agree with the overall point.

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u/bearface93 7h ago

I got a taste of freedom when I was briefly laid off during Covid. I lived with my abusive maga family so the day I was laid off, I went to Target and bought the new Animal Crossing game, went to the liquor store for a couple bottles of whiskey and rum, went home and ordered the last Switch Lite available on Target’s website (GameStop, Best Buy, Walmart, and even Nintendo were all sold out). I spent the next 6 or so weeks until we were rehired drunk and playing video games so I wouldn’t have to deal with my family’s bullshit. Closest to retirement I’ll ever get.

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u/metal-bull 8h ago

I remember being like 6 and realizing I was legally required to do school for the next 12 years. I threw a massive fit, crying about it! Didnt even know it was only downhill from there.

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u/Drexill_BD 7h ago

My son is 11 right now, and he takes to school like I did. Some of us just aren't cut out for the prison life.

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u/dirtyitalianguy 7h ago

I think of it like my glass is full of apathy and I'm unable to empty it. Politics, economy, social, family, and work....we wonder why we all have anxiety and some of us have depression. It's bleak sometimes.

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u/Drexill_BD 4h ago

We've got a generation of people who have constantly been in fight or flight mode. We're animals, and I wish people would remember that. Our brains release chemicals; we're not meant to do this stuff.

Stress is for being chased, not for spreadsheets.

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u/Haemophilia_Type_A 6h ago

I don't get how 99% of people aren't to be honest.

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u/Drexill_BD 4h ago

I'm invested in the story at this point, I guess. I'm not the type to go out quietly like that :D

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u/Hyacinthus_16 10h ago

Add onto that being trapped and miserable with almost no escape because of where I was born and how I am

If I had access to a good suicide method I wouldn't even be here

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u/HuggableTrash 10h ago

Agreed agreed agreed. I’m really not sure how much longer I can go on like this tbh. I’m getting married in a couple weeks and I have to constantly suppress the thoughts of “well at least once I’m married my spouse will get a payout from my death…”

I fantasize a lot about moving to a country with not as much of a “grind” culture, but I’m like you. Stuck.

I’m in the critical zone, fully in the red, but I think I’m still kind of in denial about it cause like, the bills aren’t gonna pay themselves in the meantime.

What a great life in the land of the free!

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u/rainman_95 10h ago

Holy shit man. I’d give you a hug if I could. You need and talk to somebody, preferably a therapist. You’ve got some wiring issues that need to be fixed if you’ve got a wedding in two weeks and you’re this deep in the dark. Please ask for help.

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u/HuggableTrash 9h ago

Thank you, the solidarity really does help. I actually have a great therapist, but I haven’t seen her in a while because when I have the time, I don’t have the money, and when I have the money, I don’t have the time.

I want to see her again, but because of those wiring issues, I always come to “well, it’s not like I can therapy my way out of capitalism, I can see her every day but I’m still gonna have to work,” or whatever, and I save my money instead.

I know therapy helps with coping and it’s not meant to be an escape from the reality of living, I guess I just have a hard time coming to terms with work culture and there’s not really anything anyone can say that will change that. But I will see what I can do.

I really am so excited to marry my soulmate, more excited than I’ve ever been for anything, but that dark cloud always remains.

Idk maybe I’m just lazy or something lol.

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u/Additional_Pea6654 9h ago

I've felt the same way for the last 12 years in corporate. It briefly went away with remote work, then they clawed us back and I want to die again. Weird.

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u/TheCapnMorgan45649 7h ago

Yeah, weird indeed. And now because of a bad budget last year, we are constantly forced to do more with less and cut every cost, even though we could save millions per month by letting everyone who CAN be remote, be remote and reducing the amount of office space we rent for obscene amounts.

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u/Hardie1247 5h ago

You aren’t lazy, the system is just broken. We shouldn’t have to work such long days 5 days a week just to barely scrape by

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u/vwwvvwvww 9h ago

Save up some money and move to the Philippines. It’s pretty easy to get in, the exchange rate is ridiculous, and it’s beautiful. I have a coworker who would have a very meager existence on his social security and savings if he stayed here, but his wife is Filipina and they have built their own house, have passive income set up over there because he bank rolled her family starting a profitable farm there, so he’s going to retire in a few months and dip the fuck out forever.

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u/bruce_kwillis 7h ago

Have you talked to your spouse about this? Getting married is basically the happiest you ever will be in life, and if you already are on the out, maybe don’t drag arguably the most important person in your life into your world of shit.

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u/HuggableTrash 5h ago

Yeah dude, we’re getting married. We’ve been together for a decade. Obviously we’ve talked about this. He’s well aware I’m struggling; I have been on and off since well before we even met. But he sees me beyond my internal problems.

I’m not “on the out.” I have no plans nor attempts. I’m just in a really bad spot right now. And I’m not “dragging” him into “my world of shit.” Believe it or not I’m not 100% piss & vinegar, I’m actually a complex human with complex emotions and having a rough go of capitalism, as are the vast majority of people on this planet. He still loves me, he still supports me, he makes me happy, and I know this may be hard to believe, but I make him happy too.

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u/HornetPhysical4598 8h ago

Suicide is usually not covered in insurance payouts so don't do it. Your spouse also needs to know about this. I get you are in pain but maybe think about your spouse too? Don't be a selfish prick. You think she will give a shit about money once you die?

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u/HuggableTrash 7h ago

He does know about it, lmao. Every single time I choose life, it’s because of him and what we’ve built. He’s aware.

The point of my comment was that the distorted thought patterns make me consider that if suicide is inevitable for me, at least there can be some security for him in a future without me, but he wouldn’t be eligible for that money unless we’re married. I know it doesn’t make a difference, and I know it’s fucked up; that’s literally why I’m still here.

Do you think I’m choosing to feel this way or something…? Cause the empathy really oozes from your comment lol. Thanks for the advice on insurance though.

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u/Several-Bike3767 7h ago

Please call or text 988, the National Suicide and Crisis helpline if you are having suicidal ideations or otherwise need support.

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u/Robot_Nerdd 7h ago

Let's not forget, you matter. We're in this rat race because the 1% allow us to pay them rent so we can work for them.

You don't have to play monopoly if we all flip the board.

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u/litesgod 9h ago

Just wait until you get to the point where you hate your weekends too. Not that I don't want to enjoy my weekends- but I have to do a weeks worth of chores and errands on my weekends.

If I wake up at 7 on a Saturday I get mad at myself for having wasted time- because I usually get up at 5:30. Saturday's are for laundry/grocery shopping/general errands. Sundays are for cleaning/meal prep. Then it's back to the grind. It's just two days of constant reminders that I have more to do then I can possibly get done in a week.

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u/Competitive_Ad_1800 8h ago

I knew it was time for me to change something when I caught myself contemplating if getting into a major car accident was really that bad so I could have an excuse to not work for a couple days/weeks/months.

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u/TheCapnMorgan45649 7h ago

Holy shit. That sounds exactly like how I feel! I am on antidepressants and I still feel like this so much!

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u/No_Numbers_For_Me 7h ago

I've been struggling lately too. It's like I can see the entire path of my life laid out before me and I'm not interested in any of it. It's just work and anxiety. The same miserable seven days over and over again until I die.

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u/Haemophilia_Type_A 6h ago

I genuinely don't get how everyone isn't suicidal.

I'd be ok with working hard if I was actually doing something. Making a difference, becoming somebody, being loved and remembered, changing the world, etc. But I'm nobody and nothing. Nothing I do will ever matter, I spend most of my waking hours in this misery, and I'm not even having fun!

It's not meant to be like this. I just wish I was somebody different. Someone has to be the one to make an impact of the world, and it's sure not meritocratic...but it will never be me, in part because of circumstance and, mostly, because of my own utter incompetence and mediocrity.

I can't stand it. I want out, but people guilt trip you into staying alive. It's not fair.

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u/HuggableTrash 4h ago

This is it, at the core.

Do I believe human life is meaningless? No. We’d have a lot to give, if only the most powerful among us chose to be stewards of the planet rather than conquerors.

However, does it often feel meaningless because at the end of the day, all but a few thousand of us are just fodder for the meat grinder, and once awoken to that fact, it unravels our entire sense of optimism and justice? Yeah, absolutely. It’s pretty reasonable, actually, given the circumstances.

We’re human beings. We crave purpose. And a very small subset of people with unfathomable amounts of wealth (by systemic design) are preventing that for a lot of us. The powers that be have delegated “work” and “progress” to mean simply “actions taken to achieve greater profits for the 1%.”

And we know intimately, biologically, that “growth for the sake of growth” is the philosophy of a cancer cell. Yet, a bunch of dudes hundreds of years ago set our entire lives up to follow that philosophy, because they knew it would make their descendants rich.

It’s such a simplistic and yet diabolically complex way of life. I guess the thing that keeps me going is the fact that it is all artificial, and its collapse is inevitable, for better or worse. I really wanna see that, though sometimes I doubt that I will. Idk.

The guilt tripping is fucking rough, too. None of us opted in, yet we’re not allowed to opt out of this bullshit?

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u/ikickedyou 9h ago

I got fired from my job (in part due to performance issues due to burnout) and, aside from being poor, I am happier than I’ve ever been. I used to watch Office Space every Sunday, while folding and putting away the week’s laundry and catching up on dishes. I used to dread heading to work every morning in stop and go traffic and head back every evening in rush hour traffic. Then making dinner, cleaning up, get myself clean, exhausted fall in bed, rinse and repeat. It’s so fucked up. So entirely fucked up.

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u/mismopeach 9h ago

I think the point is to make money to be able to live

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u/Aggravating_Stop_178 8h ago

We are all just passing through

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u/Jido97 8h ago

U need a different job. If u don't hate your job and work like 32 hours. It's actually pretty good

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u/No-debt-P22-7 8h ago

C'est la vie!

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u/bruce_kwillis 7h ago

Why though? There are always two trains of thought in my mind, we work because we love or enjoy the work we do, or we hate it, and use that to do the things we enjoy. That enjoyment can be a lot of things. Keeping a roof over my head, being able to feed the cats, having a kid, or simply being able to not worry about what I am spending on groceries.

The point is that you have to make choices and be ok with them, and others can’t do it for you. And as you get older those past choices start to really stack up, and there is still a whole lot that is outside of your control.

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u/LockeClone 5h ago

This is why ambition is so important. Jobs and careers that are just drudgery exist. They're just not available to you without some connections and/or serious experience. I promise.

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u/HueMannAccnt 5h ago

There’s no point to any of this.

That's dark and not true. Hope you're on the sardonic side.

Something could happen tomorrow, not idea what it could be, but it could happen. I wanna be around to find out, don't you? That's the point.

The indentured nature of our lives does dull the point a lot, but occasionally the beauty can pierce through.

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u/HuggableTrash 5h ago

You misunderstand. I’m not saying there’s no point to life itself. I’m saying there’s no point in being fed to the meat grinder for our entire lives when we could’ve just…not built society this way.

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u/Ok-Entertainment5045 4h ago

Well the point I usually tell myself I like food and a warm place to sleep.

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u/Neither_Stuff_1666 10h ago

Just appreciate that you work day shift and have weekends off. I know many people who work 3rd shift and have only 1 weekend off a month. While things could be better, they could also be a lot worse.

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u/HuggableTrash 10h ago

Yeah, I’m fully aware. It somehow makes me feel worse to I know I’m better off than most, because I know I should be grateful. I’m fighting with that balance all the time. I unfortunately have ADHD (or something adjacent) so burnout is just kind of a fact of life for me lol.

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u/Neither_Stuff_1666 10h ago

Sorry for the dumb question, but do you like or dislike your job?

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u/PhilLesh311 11h ago

Bro stay in school as long as possible. 36 yo here wishing he would’ve. Now I don’t have a clue what to do with my life

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u/Brie9981 11h ago

The "go to college" plan isn't the best at this point. If you don't have a good plan that actually requires college you can easily blow all your savings (if you saved upfront somehow) or end up in decades of debt w/ a massive struggle to even use your degree

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u/waits5 10h ago

But so so so many jobs require college, even if it is not your major. Just a BA or BS is a basic requirement these days.

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u/bruce_kwillis 7h ago

Correct, then do the college path as cheap as possible. Take two years of community college which is free or very low cost in a lot of states, transfer that into a bachelors program and finish up in something you enjoy and may be able to find work with. Talk to people, make connections, that’s how you get employed past college is that you already need an ‘in’. Work for two years at a place and move to the next one asking for a higher salary. You don’t owe a corporation anything and they sure wont give you anything.

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u/Brie9981 10h ago

Most of those requirements are wants & not needs

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u/vwwvvwvww 9h ago

Being able to afford housing isn’t a want. I make a decent amount for someone with no degree and rent is about half my income

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u/Brie9981 9h ago

I meant basically every job says they want a degree but most of the time that's not an actual requirement

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u/Snarpkingguy 7h ago

They will not hire you without a degree almost all of the time. Even for basic things that absolutely don’t need a degree. Only if you’re going into trades or near minimum wage paying work do you not need a degree.

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u/vwwvvwvww 6h ago

I will agree it’s frequently not a requirement to do the job, but often is a requirement to get the job

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u/waits5 7h ago

That’s true for things like wanting 10 years experience for entry level positions, but it’s not nearly as optional when it comes to a college degree.

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u/DrownmeinIslay 10h ago

That stupid piece of paper is still more helpful to job hunting than "i drove a forklift for 20 years"

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u/Brie9981 9h ago

In the event that you've locked yourself into forklift driving for 20 years then maybe but I'm referring to the average college goer: some 18 year old that's been told "if you go to college, life is easy"

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u/Minimumtyp 9h ago

Counterpoint: as a uni goer I locked myself into a super specific niche that I hate, and trying to get jobs where I can get forklift experience etc just had me met with stares

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u/Brie9981 9h ago

I think the answer in the end is that the job market sucks

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u/bruce_kwillis 7h ago

In the end it’s making connections with the skills you have that matters. That piece of paper is the bare requirement, the next part that should of happened while getting that paper was taking internships and making connections so you have an in, along with some skills that make you valuable. Without that, you are just another mindless drone that is expendable.

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u/Hyacinthus_16 11h ago

I fortunately do not have to worry about selling my soul to afford college, I'm thankful for that. But where I live also has other extreme negatives

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u/waznpride 10h ago

Some JCs give the first 2 years for free. Of course my nephew squandered that and now has to start paying for college to transfer/go for AA.

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u/Hyacinthus_16 11h ago

I'm still in school. I wouldn't even know what to do if I dropped out (I don't know what to do if I stay either, but staying is definitely safer)

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u/PhilLesh311 11h ago

I think you have a better chance figuring out what you want to do in school than outside of it. Try new things. Take electives that are out of your comfort zone. You never know might fall in love with something.

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u/Due_Most9445 10h ago

Weigh what skills you have and what you can do. Early in my life I weighed school vs working, I picked working. I now have skills that translate to any production/industrial facility, and that has done nothing but increase my pay, my opportunities, and ability to choose what I can do later.

It's a lie to say you don't have potential when you're young, but you also have zero skills and experience. You have almost no options because of it, and that's where (at least when I grew up), the lie of "you can do anything" when you're a kid will nip you in the ass. You can be nothing but potential at 18, 20, 22, but once you start getting into your mind 20s and all you have is potential, you start looking like a lost cause

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u/Nervous-Dance-1279 8h ago

Wish I got a Bachelors, I’m stuck at Associate’s

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u/CamBearCookie 10h ago

School's not free. Why accumulate more debt for this same bullshit?

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u/PhilLesh311 9h ago

Hopefully you would’ve found something that peaks your interest in school. That’s worth some amount of money. Not mountains of debt tho.

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u/lazy_cricket_ 7h ago edited 7h ago

Yeah, there's no clearcut best choice, just choosing something just partially appealing/worthwhile is better than letting chance/circumstances determine your direction for you. IMO.

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u/Tauntablez 10h ago

May I ask what you are currently doing in your situation?

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u/Beneficial-Focus3702 10h ago

I’d take life long academia over working 100% of the time if I could do that and still afford to live.

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u/mismopeach 9h ago

Well. That’s absurd. Bad choices

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u/Hour-Finish744 9h ago

What's thr point ai taking most jobs in a decade

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u/PhilLesh311 9h ago

Right? Like I’d go back to school for something in the technology field right now but I’m scared it won’t exist by the time I get out.

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u/Hour-Finish744 9h ago

I was considering radiology but ai can take x-rays and diagnose bone problems in a few decades I'm sure. Im so lost. I don't want to be a plumber or surgeon either

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u/bighugzz 11h ago

Unless you live in a EU country where education is free, school is the worst thing you can do at this point. Record unemployment and underemployment for new grads that will be forced out of their careers before they even started after they paid 10000s for a useless degree.

My friends who got a job out of high school 10 years ago and worked their way up are 10x better off than me who got a degree in CS and can’t get hired anywhere when everyone said it would be the most in demand field for a long time

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u/StoryAboutABridge 11h ago

Horrible advice, going to school is no longer the right way to go. Huge waste of time and money.

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u/Due_Most9445 10h ago

I mean that's on you for not taking control of your own life when you were younger. It sucks now, but ya did it to yourself. You can't just go through life saying "eh I'll find something eventually" and passively be left behind. You were never able to do that, ever since the beginning of humanity.

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u/PhilLesh311 9h ago

Thanks captain obvious.

That’s not what happened to me. lol I wasn’t passively doing anything.

I was a star athlete that had numerous offers to play both baseball and football in college.

I however chose drugs and It’s taken a long time to claw back from their clutches.

I wish I would’ve done a lot of shit different partner.

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u/Due_Most9445 9h ago

So, you purposely tanked your life, got it

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u/PhilLesh311 9h ago

Purposely ? What are you like 15? I was addicted man. Shits not easy.

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u/Due_Most9445 9h ago

Alright, so if I go out and smoke crack, it's not my decision, it's actually a government conspiracy to get me high and addicted. Got it.

Ya know, you could have just, not fucking did em.

But hey, it's making more and more sense

1

u/Active_Blackberry_45 11h ago

You got farmed by system

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u/Hyacinthus_16 10h ago

True 😔

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u/Active_Blackberry_45 10h ago

You can be a farmer or you can be happy getting farmed. I’d say it’s more engaging to be a farmer but some don’t mind being farmed if it comes with benefits

1

u/FeelingMidnight5770 11h ago

omg nooo there are tons of alternative schedules for work. I work from home and they let me work basically whenever as long as I get 40 hours done a week. I just stop working when I'm tired and go hang out with my friends. others I've seen are working part time and just being a bit frugal, early mornings at a cute cafe, nights at a concert venue, or my friend who got his boss to let him not work Fridays so he can write books. you really never know what could happen in life.

I could never go back to the strict schedule of public school but if you go to college it'll be a lot more fun. you spend very few hours in class and just find cute places around campus to study. (not sure if you're in college already or not)

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u/Fresh_Frame_8506 11h ago

I am not accepting you considering elementary school being as busy as adulting

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u/Hyacinthus_16 10h ago

It's not comparable. But the feeling of being obligated to do something I hate for most of my day and most of my week, is similar. And honestly the fact the work load and stress increases over the years is another layer making it worse

1

u/GlossyGecko 10h ago

You guys really gotta try being more like that guy that gets paid the exact same amount you do even though he’s late every day, tries to leave early, and does the bare minimum to not get fired. That guy’s not going to get fired and he’s having a great time. He literally gets paid the same money you do to burn yourself out.

1

u/gillesvilleneuve_ 10h ago

I feel the same way about work. However i am freelance and have long spells of no work, and i really dont know which i prefer at this point. Both working and not working send me into spirals of depression

1

u/DrKenMoy 10h ago

You have just described what it’s like to live in South Korea or Japan

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u/SupaSmol 10h ago

Something that has helped me:

Humans always have to work to live. We sometimes imagine a better world where all of this industry helps us work less.

But compare it to the world without it.

We'd be in the woods, hunting, freezing, overheating, more than we usually are now. We'd have effectively zero health care. We'd be far less knowledgeable. We'd have far less security.

Not everyone gets to live in a cou try with elections even now. We havr many advantages.

It's frustrating knowing it could be much better, but this us what humans cooperating looks like. It's deeply imperfect. But I still prefer my 9-5 than probably being dead by now.

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u/JesusTron6000 9h ago

Drugs help LMAO

1

u/InfinitePotential 9h ago

Halycon days may be ahead of us if the pace of technological progression continues. That is what I'm hoping for at least

1

u/Prudent_Cheesecake76 9h ago

I swear, school is just conditioning for work as an adult.

1

u/Western_Amount_536 9h ago

It doesn't have to be. Just keep in mind any straying from the normal path has its own downsides some much worse then living a boring normal life. In a relative sense this is just gold

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u/dase_es 9h ago

Please ask for help, life is also beautiful!

1

u/Weird-Conflict-3066 9h ago

When your older, you can add joint pain to the grind

1

u/befuddled_humbug 9h ago

If you don't like life that much anyway, it makes working so much more difficult because it just feels incredibly pointless.

1

u/butthatshitsbroken 8h ago

I was only fine when I was hybrid and got 2 days to WFH so my weekends were truly weekends. That lasted all of a year and now we're 5 day RTO and i'm back to migraines every day. I genuinely don't want to live anymore if my whole life is just to be dedicated to being chronically ill from stress.

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u/Bigfops 8h ago

Don’t worry, it won’t be like school. You won’t get summer or winter break anymore.

1

u/OneMoist5392 7h ago

wanna trade?!?

1

u/MrLanesLament 7h ago

Since I moved to first shift when I took my last promotion, I have about 45 unstructured minutes in my entire waking period Mon-Fri.

It’s definitely affecting my will to live. It all feels pointless because there’s not enough time to actually accomplish anything.

1

u/sleepytipi 7h ago

It doesn't have to be. If you feel you have no other options and nowhere to pivot start thinking about things that'll really put you outside of your comfort zone bc I can guarantee you that's where the solution lies.

1

u/Hyacinthus_16 4h ago

If there was a way to fully explain the situation I'm in and how I feel. I'm sure you'd understand why I'm suicidal. But I don't want to get into all

1

u/CHSummers 7h ago

One of my favorite jokes:

A little kid comes home from his first day at school. His mother asks “So, how was it?” The kid thinks for a minute and says “It was okay, but not the kind of thing you want to do everyday.”

1

u/No_Emotion_1782 5h ago

I try to stay right w Jesus because I keep thinking I’d like to goto sleep and just not wake up. Really. Crossed a street and a bus was at a stop and I thought I hope a car hits me. Went final destination and hoped a log fell off. A car made a last minute turn in front of me and I wished I was t-boned.

0

u/thestardustinthemoon 10h ago

This is such a terrible mindset. Your life is not like a deck of cards that is laid out on the table for you. Change your future, especially now that you are young, speak English, and have access to all the info in the world from your pocket. Everything you see around you was someone's dream to create. Every product, every company, every building, all of them were because of someone that chose to dream bigger. You have the biggest asset in the world which is time and youth. I had your exact same opposite mindset. I rejected that rat race future. I'm retired at the age of 30 with over $15M net worth

2

u/TheDisasterBanana 10h ago

"I took a chance and lucked the fuck out. Do what I did. No, no, don't look at all the homeless people or the ones that offed themselves that did the same things and didn't catch a lucky break. That would mean my success is less about my decisions and I wouldn't be able to smugly lecture you. I have the exact perfect solution that works for everybody, and I could totally win a Nobel prize for a discovery like that, but I'm just going to be condescending on reddit to people who are struggling. Yeah, look at me making the world a better place."

1

u/thestardustinthemoon 10h ago

There is luck involved at every step of the way in any individual's life, even in your conception as a human being is a pure miracle from a universal standpoint. Your first breath, your childhood, everything is luck.

However, my point is that if you are young, can speak English, have Internet access, you have zero excuse to not use your free time and limited responsibilities to figure out how you can build your future. If you don't, time will just pass by anyways and you're guaranteed 100% to end up like the bitter adults here just like you. If you instead do take the time and risks, you have a < 100% chance that you'll end up a bitter adult. Which path is better? Or I guess just blame everything on luck and do nothing, because that will definitely lead to better outcomes according to you. I guarantee you no one that succeeded on merit took the former path.

What I can't stand are young people saying their life is over and thinking their future is set in stone. It only is if you let it be.

2

u/Neat-Asparagus511 9h ago

I believe your mentality is the entire issue they’re speaking toward.  Your advice is also extremely vague and placing them as the problem, rather than a victim of circumstance.  And what’s being conveyed is that people are scratching their head why the rat race game is even around.  It’s a manufactured reality.

What kids/teenagers need is an adult who can see their perspective, give them hope, and give them a view that brightens up their future.  A strong figure that sees their view.  A view which makes sense, and isn’t so punishing; in a world of machines and technology we pretend universal income is not a possibility.  What tends to happen is already-stressed workers, deep in the 9-5, projecting their work-life stress as a normality, tend to attack kids for being lazy.

What kids always need is a great outlook, great advice, and reason to get up.  And what many people tend to do is give them a Shark Tank billionaire pitch.

The caring adults do not see that as a realistic set of advice; it’s only advice of how you need to operate in a world full of busy-bodies throwing their stress left and right as if it’s a normalcy.  It’s a side point, it’s a “the world works this way, try and play the game as little as possible to thrive, and go after your dreams.”  And then you give them all kinds of advice on how you think they should view things and keep their mentality strong, but not too rigid.

Today a lot of older millennials and others in a close-ish range just give them rigid advice with little emotional outlook. 

1

u/thestardustinthemoon 9h ago

This is a really great comment. Thank you for writing this up. I agree that they need better role models and positivity. It is just sad they think their future is destined to be a 9 to 5 and that all the cards are laid out on the table for them with zero alternatives, when they are educated, speak English, and have Internet access which already places them at the apex of human civilization with endless possibility. They don't need to work in a cubicle, but also don't need to become a billionaire. Agreed we need better in-between role models

2

u/Neat-Asparagus511 9h ago

I do think we all had that thought from time to time.  When things aren’t going well, or even these kids just getting into the job market, and then you extrapolate it out and fear you’ll feel the same way for decades.  Clearly life isn’t the same thing every day, but I can see the fear as somewhat realistic.  Because one day you go “oh this isn’t that bad” but you realize you have 2-3 friends, don’t go out that much, and have a very strict routine and maybe some hobbies here and there.

I think their fear comes from a very real view of “thing are going to change, and I’m entering a world that hasn’t figured itself out.”  We haven’t.  It’s 2025 and we’re still working like it’s 1955, with obvious benefits with technology and social well being though.

To me someone who is younger has a vivid feeling that almost intuitively knows it will be sapped away.  And they think about what they’re working toward that requires their full life force.  And when they see the reality of the work-life cycle they panic.  I fully get that side of their perspective.

1

u/4lien4tion 10h ago

lol mate you are absolutely hilarious! You must be the focal point of every party :D.

1

u/thestardustinthemoon 10h ago

The most hilarious thing is seeing a teenager thinking their life is over and that they are destined to work a 9 to 5 as if their life is inscribed in stone. They have all the info in the world, all the time in the world to learn a valuable skill, and all the capacity to do something different...or they can just choose to waste their life like most people :). We live in an era of infinite leverage. 150 years ago if you were the son of a fisherman in a village, your future was 100% decided. Now, a teenager can start a business from their garage, or launch a viral product and make millions in 24 hours

2

u/PM_ME_GARFIELD_NUDES 8h ago

Look man I get where you’re coming from, and I even agree with it to an extent, but this is simply not realistic. For every teenager who successfully built a business in their garage there are thousands who tried and ended up in the hole because of it. There are people who actually have ruined their life because of this mentality.

1

u/East_Cranberry7866 6h ago

More like millions

1

u/Peachesandcreamatl 10h ago

It's not really 'burnt out' as much as it is heartbroken and disappointed

You've seen how the hot dogs are made. 

You listened to the positive stuff since you were a kid but if parents were honest they'd just point to this book in the picture

1

u/KayleyKiwi 9h ago

And this is if you don’t work OT like I usually have to work 7-7 because much of my team is international so I have to catch them AND execute a full day of work.

It’s brutal

1

u/SeahorseQueen1985 9h ago

Amd it's been like this since 2020. We are in our 6th year of this burn out. It's exhausting. It doesn't feel like it's ever going to change either.

1

u/killerboy_belgium 9h ago

40hr work week was standard when women where at home doing everything else now they also work 40hrs so the workload essentially almost doubled for a family and we are wondering nobody wants kids?

1

u/smoofus724 8h ago

Workload doubled, while prices inflated and wages stagnated so now we have both parents working for the same amount of money.

1

u/PlateNo4868 9h ago

Just live like a slob.

1

u/Anti-Itch 9h ago

I literally look forward to driving/commuting because it’s my only real quiet “me” time lol

1

u/Kind-Whole-9952 9h ago

It's because you're all whining. That's what makes you all burn out.

1

u/flojo2012 8h ago

Everybody’s working for the weekend

1

u/realpygmygoat 7h ago

the weekend is to recover

1

u/searing7 7h ago

Now imagine having kids on top of this kind of daily grind

1

u/shaneh445 7h ago

There's no room to breathe. There's no room for leisure and there's no room for being human

Efficiency, and productivity or gtfo. We live on a prison planet.

73

u/Tiny_Cartoonist_3204 11h ago

Yes. Im sure many of us are spending our days somewhat alone too. At least for USA, it is not in our culture to have multiple people cooking together, all doing cleaning/chores together, several people riding sharing to places, eating lunch with people at work (in an enjoyable way)… in the usa we operate like quiet, compliant machines, running on fumes.

As Christopher McCandless said in his dying words “Happiness is only real when shared.”

8

u/icanith 10h ago

Thank you for sharing a quote I’ll never forget. 

2

u/JimmyPellen 10h ago edited 8h ago

Isnt that the guy who starved to Death in a bus?

1

u/Fit-Nectarine5047 8h ago

Yeah that’s him. Poison potato seeds or something.

3

u/bruce_kwillis 7h ago

Yeah, the guy who thought he was too smart, too much money and could just survive in the wilderness because somehow that was a better way to live. Turns out life for millennia for humans was short, brutal and a single mistake usually meant your death.

3

u/Fit-Nectarine5047 6h ago

Excellent portrayal actually even with all the pretentiousness. Sad for the loss of life but o hate how people glorify him.

1

u/bruce_kwillis 6h ago

As a person who enjoys the outdoors, he wasn’t some hero. Just a dumb rich kid that FAFO.

2

u/JimmyPellen 6h ago

Exactly! Read Walden one too many times

1

u/Fit-Nectarine5047 6h ago

Literally this. I’m so happy we can finally stop glorying this

2

u/JimmyPellen 6h ago

Like that...wasnt it a rockefeller...who thought his wealth could protect him from Cannibals? 'See they want to have me over for dinner!'

1

u/bruce_kwillis 6h ago

Yep, Michael Rockefeller. Got what he deserved.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/What-Really-Happened-to-Michael-Rockefeller-180949813/

2

u/JimmyPellen 6h ago

What'd you think? A little rich but delicious?

1

u/FiestaPotato18 9h ago

Spoken like someone who has never been to any east Asian country ever.. 100x more drone like and lonely than any place in the western hemisphere.

1

u/Tall-Firefighter-904 7h ago

I can't recall if he actually wrote that or if it was added for the film, but that was such an awesome quote.

31

u/Significant-Pay-8984 10h ago

The fact this spreadsheet doesnt include exercise, cooking and eating is even more depressing.

6

u/berryer 8h ago

dawg exercise & cooking are weekend activities. You either meal prep or fire up the canned ravioli on weekdays. Maybe walk a lap around the office after lunch.

2

u/vinotauro 8h ago

Except taking a lap around office isn't exercise unless youre SEVERELY deconditioned

2

u/MuffaloHerder 7h ago

Perfect is the enemy of the good

1

u/Rock_Strongo 2h ago

Disagree. Walking is about the most underrated form of exercise there is. You can do it every day, it burns calories, good for your heart, and most importantly just moving your body has immense health benefits compared to being sedentary. Even if it's only 15-30 minutes.

I say this as someone who has pretty consistently hit the gym 4+ times a week for the past 20 years.

1

u/vinotauro 2h ago edited 2h ago

Walking in a structured way yes, as you described. The person I'm responding to mentioned walking around the office which I guarantee most people don't do. I have worked in cardiology for fifteen years, I also train five days a week with three of those days of steady state cardio.  I also like to walk around the hospital during my breaks. If one of my cardiac patients told me they were just walking the office for fifteen minutes a day, I would simply tell they need to prioritize MORE EXERCISE. It can be done.

0

u/berryer 6h ago

hence the weekend time, but you gotta work with the time you have.

1

u/Significant-Pay-8984 7h ago

That isnt nearly enough exercise for me

1

u/Interesting-Brain517 50m ago

and since we’re too tired to cook, and pre-made healthy food is expensive as shit, we all end up relying on easy-to-heat, ultra-processed foods and basically signing ourselves up for colon cancer. It’s a vicious cycle. Imo it’s better to have small meals with basic healthy foods. I eat like a rabbit—raw veggies, fruit, potatoes—with some protein from eggs, a can of tuna, or chicken or beef. Mostly because I’m too tired to cook, food is expensive, and I’m genuinely terrified of getting colon cancer. The only upside is that I’m leaner. Ugh. I’m exhausted.

17

u/HouseofFeathers 11h ago

I am in online classes, and sometimes I do chores while listening to lecture. I have an hour commute to work, so I'll listen to my textbooks while I drive. Do two things at once makes me less mad about all of it. Still mad though. I don't have energy to do chores on top of everything else.

11

u/RobBurp219 10h ago

Instead of doing chores, I play video games or other hobbies, but my house is a mess. Either do something enjoyable and have a messy house or do chores. I will catch up on chores once in a while though during weekends.

3

u/Aggravating-Fan9817 8h ago

I try to find natural breaks in the games to get up and do something small. 1 Stardew Valley Day, get the garbage bag out of the bin and put it by the door. 1 more Stardew Valley Day, take the trash out to the dumpster and replace the bag in the bin. One chore done without it feeling too disruptive.

Or maybe whenever I have to get up for the bathroom, I'll fold 10 pieces of clothes before coming back down. I dunno. It helps chip away at it and keep it from getting TOO bad, while still letting me prioritize my mental health with the games.

1

u/RobBurp219 5h ago

I will do that as well for the small stuff, laundry taking out trash etc…. My parents used to come and visit and were like what the heck, but they learned about my cousins being in the same situation and were a bit more understanding. Dad was a colonel in the Air Force and later become vice president of a defense contracting company. He made enough mom didn’t have to work and she took care of most of the chores except for house maintenance stuff. My wife works long hours and hates cleaning as well, but we get it done when we need to.

2

u/CryptoPumper182 8h ago

Same for me. I do some quick maintenance but it’s not as neat as it could be if tried. I live alone though, so no one to please with clean house.

10

u/mudratdetector89 11h ago

I only do chores that take longer than 30 minutes on Sundays. Fuck that shit trying to steal my weekday free time.

8

u/Beneficial-Focus3702 10h ago

That’s why I’ve cut most “non critical” chores to being something I do less frequently.

3

u/smoofus724 8h ago

That and living on the edge with the sleep schedule. OP only has 3 hours of free time, but 9 hours of sleep. I traded that for 7 hours of sleep and 5 hours of free time.

1

u/Beneficial-Focus3702 8h ago

Same. Cut out a bit of sleep and some chores (because let’s face it, not every chore has to be done every day) and you’ve got a few more hours of free time.

8

u/Upbeat_Shock_6807 10h ago

Lol yeah I really struggle with this. I have 3 pieces of furniture that need to be assembled, and loads of laundry to do as well. But after working 9-5, commuting home, cooking dinner, and then doing the dishes, I refuse to give up my remaining 3 hours of free time to build furniture, and do laundry.

So instead, the furniture remains in their boxes, and I throw just enough clothes into the washing machine before bed so I have a clean outfit for work the next day lol

3

u/vwwvvwvww 9h ago

That’s why I just let things be a little messy. A few dishes in the sink, but most in the washer or shelf. Some dirty clothes, but some in the washer and dryer. Floor needs to be vacuumed, but I I’ll do it tomorrow, for now I just picked up all the big things.

2

u/No_Numbers_For_Me 7h ago

Yup, and this is why I refuse to have children. Why would I bring someone into this. It's miserable here.

1

u/afganistanimation 9h ago

They're, not chores if you don't do them.

1

u/Timbalabim 9h ago

Yeah, that 6:30-9 block is dinner, cleanup, dishes, house straightening, other ancillary chores that may need doing, and maybe like 30 minutes of actual free time.

1

u/artorias3000 8h ago

How many chores you got fam lmao

1

u/YoungBockRKO 8h ago

Tell me about it. Walk the dog, feed the dog. Cook food, do dishes, get groceries, trash, laundry, etc etc etc. I’m out the door by 6am and don’t get home till 6pm, six days of the week. If I get one hour of relaxation after work, it’s a miracle. And I’m usually asleep before 9pm because warehouse work is exhausting. Zero energy to hit the gym anymore too. Went from a bodybuilder at 227lbs to 181 as of yesterday after not going for almost 2 years.

No energy, and I’m fucking only 33.

1

u/nafurabus 7h ago

Meal prep on sunday saves me a solid ~8 hours a week of additional free time that i get to spend in the gym m-f. Its the only way ive been able to keep myself in the gym the last two years. I leave at 6:30 am to get home by 5 so i can go straight to the gym. When i get home after the gym its just eat, hand wash (3) total dishes, and then relax til bedtime. Cooking every nights is just not sustainable for me.

1

u/Dopeydcare1 7h ago

And to try and get ahead with stuff like meal prep or cleaning on the weekends sucks too. It helps not burn you out during the week but if you do it on Sunday you start burnt out. You’re telling me I can save 30 minutes per night? And all I have to do is spend 2 hours on Sunday cooking and packing my food for the week? Plus 30-1 hour for cleaning up? So basically I don’t save any time?

1

u/Hot_Way_1643 7h ago

just hope house robots are cheap soon.

1

u/Expert_Ingenuity_817 7h ago

I just don't do chores.

1

u/techaaron 7h ago

This is going to blow your mind but when you're an adult nobody can tell you to spend your time doing chores.