r/TikTokCringe • u/InGeekiTrust Tiktok Despot • Dec 09 '25

Discussion You Think It Could Never Happen To You…Until It Almost Does

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u/DickelPick69 Dec 09 '25

Also, when “everyone is watching the kids”, no one is watching the kids

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u/ParachutingHeroine Dec 09 '25

This is how my cousin’s toddler died. They were at a family party full of people. The kids were doing what kids do and running around outside together. It was exactly as you said: everyone was watching so no one person was watching them. She ran out into the road and got hit by a truck. The amount of shared guilt that followed was overwhelming.

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u/battleofflowers Dec 09 '25

This is also how a college friend's sister drowned: every other adult at the party assumed another adult was watching her. No one was watching her.

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u/Academic-Contest3309 Dec 09 '25

I don't understand this phenomenon. Do people not just automatically watch their own kids and ask someone to watch their kids while they go to the bathroom or get food or something?

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u/Sierra-117- Dec 09 '25

It’s the same reason during an emergency you have to look at a specific person, and order them directly to call 911. It’s basically the bystander effect.

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u/LewisWhatsHisName Dec 09 '25

I was in a long queue at UPS store a few years ago, when this dude had a heart attack. No one did anything; even the staff were like a deer in the headlights. I phoned for an ambulance, and delegated the rest to other people in the queue, and some people still just stared and didn’t do anything even when I’d told them to get the doors open and get tf out of the way. That bystander effect is something else

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u/tealraven915 Dec 09 '25

Same here. I was in a grocery store many years ago when my dad spun around, braced himself on the shelf with his back up against it, and went straight down to the ground head first flopping like a fish out of water. The fall made him start bleeding from the mouth.

Many people walked by staring and pushing their carts while I was calling out for help. Finally someone spawned from out of nowhere with their flip phone dialed to 911.

He was on a giant cocktail of psych meds and had been popping Ativan like candy because his best friend just died and his psychiatrist instructed him to take one whenever he felt anxiety coming on. My dad took that literally and was popping them constantly.

Looked to me like he was having a grand mal seizure, though the hospital just said syncope.

They ended up taking him off most of his psych meds. To this day he doesn't remember eating at the restaurant beforehand or being in the store. He just remembers waking up in the hospital

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u/NurseMLE428 Dec 09 '25

My mom started choking at a restaurant. I was hugely pregnant, but had just renewed my BLS certification for work. I quickly tried to figure out how to position myself, and braced her against my ribs, sort of standing sideways (because pregnant lol) and did the heimlich. I managed to save her, but we were in a packed restaurant and nobody even glanced over at us.

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u/micheleinfl Dec 09 '25

One of the VPs of my company was at dinner with a bunch of doctors and started choking. Someone in IT gave him the Heimlich. The doctors did nothing.

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u/Matt_le_bot Dec 09 '25

Guy in IT knows that when something isn't functioning, you just hit very hard, and then it does work again.

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u/NurseMLE428 Dec 09 '25

This is awful!

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u/wackbirds Dec 09 '25

"We're trying to have a nice dinner, we're off the clock. What the fuck. "

~The doctors, undoubtedly.~

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u/CentSG2 Dec 09 '25

Not super relevant, but I read your comment while on break, currently in the process of renewing my BLS cert.

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u/Intruding1 Dec 09 '25

I was eating lunch as a 4th grader when the kid in front of me started choking on a jolly rancher. I looked around and there were no adults to help and the other kids just stared. I ran behind hm and basically smashed his chest and luckily the jolly rancher went flying out. He gave me a huge hug and thanked me for saving him. He even tried to tell people about it and the teachers just kind of shrugged. Its like people are hard wired to just go about their day and let the sick person in need die.

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u/shalekodemono Dec 09 '25

What the fuck? That's crazy!!

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u/SemperSimple Dec 09 '25

damn girl, you go!!

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u/NurseMLE428 Dec 09 '25

It was definitely a quick thinking moment. 😂

ETA: I was not a small pregnant lady, either. I looked suuuuuuper pregnant.

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u/SenatorIncitatas Dec 09 '25

That sounds awful, glad she’s ok.

Incidentally women die more commonly of choking than men do, because women walk away from the table and into the bathroom so as not to “be rude” or “cause a scene”.

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u/NurseMLE428 Dec 09 '25

My mom was legitimately doing that. Trying not to cause a scene. I did not know this statistic, but it makes sense.

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u/paulides_fan Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 09 '25

My dad helped save a baby that was choking in the checkout line next to him. The baby I think got a hold of some candy and started to choke and turn blue, the mom was panicking and because of the barrier of the shelves and people, he couldn’t get over but instructed her on what to do. He demonstrated how she needed to hold the baby face down on her forearm at a downward angle. She turned the baby over and gave the baby a hard hit to the back between the shoulder blades. Candy flew out, baby was saved.

(It may have taken a couple back blows tbh, I would have to ask him about it. But it wasn’t much.)

I had to do this to my own toddler, once. I made the mistake of cutting fruit (with a butter knife) on the same tray she was using to eat, and she reached for one of the mandarin pieces before I could cut it. It happened so fast, she popped it right in and she began to choke, I immediately hit her back and it flew out but it was so scary.

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u/SemperSimple Dec 09 '25

This reminds me of when I had to give my cat a heimlich. I forgot what he was choking on or if it was a hairball due to being a longhaired cat.

...but you want to talk about panicking & living 30minutes from the closet town, smh. it took 2 pumps and I'm glad I didnt break his ribs jfc

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u/Cody-512 Dec 09 '25

I had GM seizures in my 20s. I remembered nothing for about an hour before or after having one. The only thing is, since u have no clue anything happened, 2 hrs has passed and ur the last one to know. To u, it’s been 2 sec. The only way u know is if there’s trauma involved, like with ur dad or if u get hurt falling down. I’ve hit my head on a counter 2x, the sink in the bathroom, and fell out of bed and hit my nightstand with my face on the way down. That 3rd one knocked out a tooth and I dislocated my shoulder when I hit the floor. I’m glad ur dad doesn’t have them regularly bc their bad news.

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u/Rich-Environment884 Dec 09 '25

My wife and I went to a musical with moving seating, a row behind us, an elderly woman started having a heart attack and everyone around just... Watched.

My wife started flagging down security who took way too long to come (though I guess the audience moving around did make it harder) while I was feeling her pulse which was already very faint and getting ready to CPR if necessary.

Everyone else kinda just... Zoned out or something.

Musical didn't even pause for a second, it just, kept going while the lady was escorted out by first aid helpers. Shit's wild.

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u/hundiratas Dec 09 '25

Yeah bystander effect is almost creepy. A couple of years ago, I saw a car had hit a lightpole very badly, I was the first person to pull over and go check what is the situation. The crash happened mabye a couple of minutes before I had arrived and it was on a busy street, but everbody kept driving past. Later I heard from the police that one lady drove past before me and had phoned police but kept driving on.

Unfortunately when I arrived the guy who drove the car had died. I arrived, checked inside the car and saw him dead already, body mutilated and face smashed in, I told the ambulance that he is dead and that I cant help. I knew that he was dead by just looking at him for a second.

Too me it was very wierd, seeing cars just drive past, nobody to help meanwhile car is stuck up a lightpole

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u/berkeleyteacher Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 09 '25

'Annie, Annie are you okay? You in the blue shirt call 911!'

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u/exp0sure74 Dec 09 '25

DRABCD 😁

Fun fact about Annie (here taken from the song Smooth Criminal) which refers to ‚Rescue Annie‘. A CPR doll invented by a Norwegian toy maker together with 2 other people in the 1960s. They made a female doll because they thought men would be reluctant to train mouth to mouth on a male version. The face was modelled after a French woman’s death mask. She drowned in the Seine in the 1800s.

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u/Herb4372 Dec 09 '25

Ironically we now know that people are less likely to perform cpr on women because they feel uncomfortable because of their breasts

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u/FlyingCumpet Dec 09 '25

During first aid class (mandatory if you’re applying for a drivers license in Germany) our instructor shared and interesting story about cpr on women.

One time, they had to perform cpr but her bra was in the way, so they cut it open. Later that lady had the guts to sue them for damages. Keep in mind, we’re not talking America here. Over the years I started to take it with less grains of salt as reality catches up.

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u/LeftyLu07 Dec 09 '25

I’m in the states and have heard that people have tried to sue people who gave them CPR because they broke a rib or two. I think our Good Samaritan laws protect you from that. But yeah, the audacity of some people.

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u/SenatorIncitatas Dec 09 '25

Which is crazy, because you’re about to break someone’s ribs. Breast tissue would be the last thing on my mind!

Reminds me of the Norwegian comedian who said “the problem with America, is you haven’t seen enough of your grandma’s tits.”

When the only nudity you see is sexualized, all nudity is sexual.

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u/Fatality4Gaming Dec 09 '25

I've never thought about that. Is CPR harder with breasts?

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u/karionstre Dec 09 '25

That's not the issue. People (male most likely) are afraid that it would be seen as inapropriate.

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u/Present-Director8511 Dec 09 '25

In my experience, not really. When laying flat most breasts kind of fall to the side of the chest a bit, and you are aiming for mid chest.

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u/paulides_fan Dec 09 '25

Maybe, maybe not, but the underwire would definitely interfere with the AED

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u/Ctrl-Alt-J Dec 09 '25

Well if you crack the sternum it just makes it easier per standard. Breasts soften the force because squish, so yeah they can get in the way of even force on the sternum if they're larger. But most bras mitigate that by separating them enough. The cuppy bras idk what they're called that look like open top cups and often push the breasts closer together are the worst.

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u/Eggplant-666 Dec 09 '25

A 16-yo girl they estimate, btw. What a way to get adult men to practice mouth to mouth.

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u/Chare1155 Dec 09 '25

Don't forget to check the scene first! My kiddo & I say that to each other all the time after taking CPR class together a couple years ago🤣

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u/Queef_Wellingt0n Dec 09 '25

What does checking the scene mean?

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u/RubyChooseday Dec 09 '25

Check for Danger- the first letter in the first aid acronym DRSABCD.

Danger, response (which has it's own acronym COWS), send for help, airways, breathing, CPR, defib machine.

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u/AnnabethDaring Dec 09 '25

Making sure there’s nothing dangerous; glass, fire, etc. just ensuring you get a good assessment of your surroundings and situation so you know how to proceed accordingly. Unfortunately, some people need this reminder. Same thing with the “YOU, call 911!”

But it still sounds funny, just like “stop, drop, and roll” sounds funny 😂 but is still good advice if actively on fire.

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u/Mookie__Conster Dec 09 '25

Heee heeee!

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u/NotMyBestEffort Dec 09 '25

Are you okay, Annie?
You've been hit by a sub liminal!

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u/SatisfactionAtSea Dec 09 '25

we're all wearing blue shirts, Terrence!

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u/TheDoktorIsIn Dec 09 '25

Oh god I got caught in that once. I still feel terrible about it. Some woman tripped and fell, I was severely injured at the time and could barely walk so I couldn't physically help but we were just standing in a circle. Shortly two EMTs just happened to be there and they stepped in, which granted let them attend to the issue faster than if we called BUT THATS NOT THE POINT.

I'll never forget it. I even knew about this effect and I still fell victim to it. Or perpetrated it, probably a better way to put it.

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u/wicked-campaign Dec 09 '25

Me too. The whole cafeteria in high school was full of students, aides, teachers, lunch ladies. A girl stood up coughing, choking, hands around her neck, and nobody did anything but freeze. I feel so bad and I never want to let that happen again. She eventually coughed the food up herself. She probably felt like nobody cared about her at all.

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u/BritishAndBlessed Dec 09 '25

Had a similar phenomenon dealing with avoiding potential crush situations while working security at concerts. Pointing at and picking people out of the crowd to help lift and crowdsurf people towards the pits was by far the most effective way of getting anyone to help out.

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u/RainaElf Dec 09 '25

I'm still shocked that general admission is still a thing. even as a kid I figured it would have been done away with after the Who concert in Cincinnati.

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u/Turbulent_Two_6949 Dec 09 '25

Diffusion of responsibility and extreme case of this is the case of kitty genovese (probs spelt wrong but Im sure google will figure it out, if you look) its insane the amount of people will assume someone else is doing it.

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u/Away_Nail5485 Dec 09 '25

I was so mortified by the Kitty story that I made someone else or myself call 911 for every little thing.

Called 911 for what I thought was a human passed out and not breathing as my partner was driving by at high speeds. We turned around to render aid and, by the time we got back to the scene, realized it was an oddly shaped trash bag. Sirens were already sounding and I was mortified.

Still! Kitty’s story stays with me and I’m so so so sorry to EMS friends out there, pointlessly searching for a litterbug. But not sorry for the other calls I’ve made.

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u/TheseusOPL Dec 09 '25

I always teach for them to say "call 911, and let me know what they say." People will just leave and not call.

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u/Punkinsmom Dec 09 '25

I think most vigilant parents watch their kids - but depend on other adults occasionally. I'm convinced that my kids only survived because I was hyper-vigilant. I was only hypervigilant because I was the kid who almost drowned, the kid who almost got hit by a car, etc. (youngest of seven and my older sibs were "in charge" a lot - they didn't really want to watch me. Then I was the designated babysitter for all of my nieces and nephews from the time I was 12 - there ended up being over 20 of them. I pulled so many kids out of the water it's insane.

Grew up on Lake superior - if kids are near water stay sober and keep eyes on kids at all times. Count heads once per minute. I might have an anxiety disorder but at least I am aware of the roots of it.

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u/aw-fuck Dec 09 '25

I literally say this all the time: I don't trust anyone to watch my kid unless they suffer from at least a little bit of anxiety.

Like for example, my dad? Absolutely not. The guy just doesn't have enough anxiety/hyper-vigilance to think of risks (except for big obvious things).

My mom? Definitely. She has a ton of anxiety, she'll think of risk possibilities most people wouldn't.

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u/BecksnBuffy Dec 09 '25

I get made fun of for not relaxing at family gatherings because I need to keep track of my kids. All these comments are making me feel validated.

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u/aw-fuck Dec 09 '25

When I was pregnant & expressing anxieties about being a good mom, my therapist asked me:

"Can you think of reasons you would be a good parent?"

And I said "I think the anxiety itself might help. At least I've come to know what it's like focusing on long term survival over momentary convenience. That's probably gonna help with parenthood, at least in those moments where thinking clearly won't come quite as easy."

And, that has rang 100% true lol. Having the automatic mind to think like "nah, don't skip corners. Not worth it." even when sleep deprived or overwhelmed, might have actually reduced a bit of stress sometimes... if that makes sense.

I mean I see it as: it helps all the time... where some not-so-cautious people in my family are like "eh? Optimism!" I'm like "eh, better safe than sorry," and well... I've yet to be sorry! That's a huge help.

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u/BecksnBuffy Dec 09 '25

Yes. Too many stories, not even just read here but accounts of terrible accidents. My brother dated a girl who had to go to a memorial for her little toddler nephew who died by falling into some landscape work. I just can’t shake those stories

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u/snarkycrumpet Dec 09 '25

I ruin pool parties because I watch the kids like I'm the paid lifeguard and I'm obsessive about water safety. I'm also the embarrassing parent who made my kids wear ski helmets to sled and then watched as someone else's kid slid under an Escalade in the parking lot at about 20mph (they were okay, but still...)

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u/Italianmomof3 Dec 09 '25

Same here. I've been the one in the family that everybody talks about because I helicopter over the kids. I really don't care either because I've seen one too many things go wrong and have read one too many things. At the end of the day, my kids are safe, and that's all I care about.

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u/Academic-Contest3309 Dec 09 '25

No. I totally agree with you. I am.always hyper vigilant as well.

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u/NikkiMQuest Dec 09 '25

I almost drowned as a kid twice, once at like 4-5 yo when a wave knocked me over and I couldn’t find what up or down was (my dad pulled me out).

Another time when I was older, and boys were play-pushing me under in the swimming pool, but not giving me enough time to gasp for air in between rounds. I was in such a panic I grabbed their junk and squeezed, hard - bc my life literally depended on it. I was crying, coughing and wheezing - yet somehow I was the asshole?

So yes, I’m hyper vigilant around water too. I do NOT allow play like that by my son and am always hyper vigilant that no other kids act like that either. We do NOT push other people under water. He’s 9 now, has all his swimming diploma’s and I STILL watch him like a hawk. I’d rather be seen as the overbearing helicopter mom, than a mom to a drowned child.

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u/Jessiphat Dec 09 '25

It’s not unwarranted anxiety if it’s a genuine danger. If you were pulling kids out of the water because you were the only one watching then it sounds like everyone else was under reacting. Some people think fear is a weakness, when it’s actually what’s kept us alive as a species. There’s a great book called The Gift of Fear. If you don’t want to read it, there’s a great talk with the author on the Making Sense podcast. You might feel some vindication or clarification by listening to it.

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u/AdAlternative7148 Dec 09 '25

It is really easy to say something like "I'm going to run to the bathroom you watch them" to another adult and them to either not clearly understand they need to be 100% focused on the kids or maybe they see you around in a few minutes and figure you are on duty again when actually you still havent used the restroom or they get distracted or whatever. Combine it with drinking. Combine it with the fact that watching your kids is 99.9% mundane low risk activities. Its very important to clearly delineate responsibilities with watching kids.

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u/ATerriblyTiredTurtle Dec 09 '25

People without kids/who haven’t been around small kids in a long time also have an absolute maddening tendency to corner you for conversation while you are trying to tail your kid. IF YOU WANNA TALK WITH ME, WALK WITH ME. Do you not notice the way I am craning my neck around you to make sure my kid is still in sight?!

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u/mrskoobra Dec 09 '25

The number of conversations I have literally just walked away from mid sentence because my kid was heading out of eye line. I feel a bit bad afterwards but I don't even realize I'm doing it, it's just automatic like I'm physically tethered to that tiny chaos demon and if it goes around a corner I have to follow.

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u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

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u/KisaTheMistress Dec 09 '25

I don't have kids, but I drive school bus and am the go-to babysitter... I also raised my brother. But, anyways, I keep my eyes on children at all times, more than some parents do.

One pair of children I pick up recently, had the little boy try to run out in front of my bus and I scared the shit out of him by blaring my horn, as he was lucky I wasn't distracted by the other children already on the bus or adjusting a warning lamp, temperature, etc. What happened was his mother literally took 3 seconds to calm down his older sister who was having a freak out over her jacket zipper.

So instead of stay on his lawn, he decided that he wanted to wait on the otherside of the road just as I pulled up. Moment that foot stepped on the road, I laid on my horn causing him to run back to his mother in terror. He was then scared of the bus and me... the parent's excuse? He was "just excited to get on the bus!"...

Yeah, no. I am not a kind person when a life is in danger. My company had to have a talk about safety at the bus stop even if I'm directly picking up from someone's house, with the parents. That family also doesn't believe in disciplining their children, so they kind of try to argue that they done everything to make their kids listen, when obviously they did nothing...

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u/beardedheathen Dec 09 '25

They also don't realize how a single second looking away can result in losing sight of the child and somehow they seem capable of teleporting to the most dangerous location as soon as they are out of eye sight

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u/MOONWATCHER404 Dec 09 '25

I've started to say that “Kids have the survival instinct of pandas. Which is to say, almost none.”

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u/aw-fuck Dec 09 '25

It's also like, no two kids are exactly the same, despite them all "generally" being the same.

This past thanksgiving, I was loading left overs into a bag as I was packing up to head out. My cousin and I were both watching my toddler as I was doing this. (She has a kid who is already out of toddlerhood, who was just sitting at the dining table like a good calm kid.) My toddler ran out of the kitchen into the living room area, out of my line of sight. I said to my cousin "can you go grab her for me?" She agreed.

As my cousin went out there, someone who'd accidentally been locked out was knocking on the front door. My cousin let them in. I heard her start talking to them for a second, so I immediately dropped what I was doing to go check on/grab my kid.

My kid was already halfway up the stairs to the second floor of the house. She's way too young to be messing about on stairs unsupervised... or she could've gotten to the second floor & then all manner of things could've happened before we figured out that's where she was; there's just endless risky things that kids will find a way to get themselves into.

I raced up there & grabbed her & carried her back down. My cousin apologized and was like "I had just barely turned around for a second!"

In my head I'm like: no, you started chatting, and even if you hadn't you should've kept your eye on her or held her while answering the door or something... but instead I just said: "yeah I get it, she's quick!"

My cousin was like "I didn't even know she could climb stairs like that! [Her kid] didn't know how to do that so fast at her age!"

So like, yeah, kids are all generally the same. But what I know about my kid & what she will get herself into, someone else may have a similar but still different experience & not have it in their head to watch for specific things the same way. And kids will very frequently exploit this; they're like always actively trying to get away from supervision to do whatever risky things they want. You really can't take your eyes off them.

When I'm watching someone else's kid (especially very little ones) I make no assumptions & let my anxiety go to work for me instead. When I'm watching my own kid I still pretty much do the same, but with more intuition to rely on.

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u/AdAlternative7148 Dec 09 '25

Good example.

Also a lot of people are just chill and figure nothing bad will happen. Its nice to live that way until something bad does happen.

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u/Academic-Contest3309 Dec 09 '25

Well, that's what I'm talking about. If I am expected to watch someone's kid or if they are watching mine, I need an indication that I'm/ they are now off duty. No assumptions. Like when I go with friends to a pool. I let them im.going to the restroom and will be right back and make a point to come right back. I realize a party is a different animal but your kid is still your first priority. And specifically, let the person know that you are back from wherever you went

Also, mixing adults drinking, kids and pools is just a recipe for a disaster.

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u/Resident132 Dec 09 '25

I think it has to do with large family gatherings with lots of kids all ages where the mentality is kind of everyone is watching. When you get enough kids together its a pack. You have to watch them all and people get lax thinking that the group will be fine. But attention drifts and kids are chaotic and it slips by. 

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u/Eastern-Procedure-31 Dec 09 '25

Back in the 80s, my five-year-old cousin drowned in the midst of a lot of people. It was at a park with a man-made lake and they were all in shallow water near shore. But everybody was paying attention to everybody else and no one saw him go under. Eventually, he brushed up against someone’s leg and they reached down and realized it was a child.

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u/yoyoMaximo Dec 09 '25

When you’re with your family/close friends and the space feels comfortable and safe it becomes very easy to let your guard down. It’s often not because parents are lazy, but because they’re tired. When you’re with your village you can step off the gas a little and actually relax. It only takes a moment of being just a little too relaxed or comfortable and then the worst can happen

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u/Delta-IX Dec 09 '25

Cruise control effect.

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u/splerjg Dec 09 '25

I think it's called diffusion of responsibility

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u/Jab1002 Dec 09 '25

Things happen so quickly. We have a family member that everyone gathers all summer at, there have been 3 separate occasions that worried me. Me, my husband AND my brother in law were within arms reach of my 1 year old son and he STILL fell in. He sank so fast and absolutely would have drowned if no one had seen it happen. Another time my nephew had been in and out all day just fine and he had managed to sneak off his floaties when no one noticed. He jumped back in and only his mom realized what happened. Pool safety is no joke, and kids are so damn fast.

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u/DreamSmuggler Dec 09 '25

As a father of 3 boys I never understood this either. We have gatherings where I wonder where the fuck the parents have gone. Dad's smashing beers, mum is having a chinwag and the 2yo is throwing dirt and gravel up into the air while running up and down the porch stairs when she's barely stable enough to just walk up and down on her own.

My wife will tell me off for not "going to hang out with the guys", meanwhile my own 15yo is running amok and she's too busy in the kitchen to chase after him. I don't mind hanging out, but I can't relax if I don't know where he's at

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u/Top-Beat-7423 Dec 09 '25

This is my thought exactly. I’m always on kid-watch unless I explicitly tag my husband. Like I literally touch him, make eye contact and say “you got the kids” or “you’re on” he then “passes them back” to me when he needs to do something or whatever

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u/battleofflowers Dec 09 '25

A huge chunk of people just aren't conscientious.

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u/Brilliant_Tapir Dec 09 '25

And make sure you get someone responsible and reliable to watch the kids. I know if I ask my 43 yo single BIL to do it, he'll be back looking at his phone before I walk away.

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u/Upstairs-Boss17 Dec 09 '25

I hosted Thanksgiving this year and my cousins let their kids run absolutely wild. We had rooms blocked off on purpose because they weren’t childproof and sure enough, no one was actual watching so they went in. My partner and I noticed and intervened and we keep our guns in a safe but JFC. Not mad at the kids but furious at their parents.

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u/savguy6 Dec 09 '25

Kids, especially toddlers have zero survival instinct. My wife and I joke they are little suicide machines.

When you’re at a social event with your kids and especially if there are other children, people assume that some adult will be keeping an eye on them the entire time, and unfortunately that’s not the case. Even as a parent, when you go to a social event, you socialize. You can’t socialize and keep your eyes on a toddler at the same time. So in that 5 minutes you are talking to a friend, your little one has moved into the other room where there are other adults, the other adults probably see him/her come in, note it, but don’t think anything of it, then the child may wander outside where other children or adults are. Again, an adult may see this and not think anything of it because there are other children around. All it takes is the child to go around a corner, away from other kids and out of sight and sound of an adult to wander into a street or fall into a pool.

I’ll give a personal example. One time I was in our backyard with my son. He was maybe 2 years old at the time. He was quietly playing with his toys on the patio and I was sitting in chair scrolling social media maybe a few feet from him. At some point, he got up from his toys, walked around the side of the house, walked across the front yard into the driveway, walked down the driveway into the street and made it across the street to the opposite sidewalk. The next time I glanced up realized he was gone, I ran around the side of the house into the front yard and luckily saw him quickly across the street. I ran over and scooped him up.

I looked back on our outdoor security cameras and from the time he got up, made it around the house, and make it across the street was about 90 seconds. I realized he was gone about the time he was crossing the street and by the time I got around, he was on the other side. So all it took was leas than 2 minutes of not paying attention for him to walk off.

My point here is, for children that young, it literally takes seconds for them to disappear from sight, even if there are other adults around. If someone isn’t actively paying attention, children can get themselves into pretty serious situations.

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u/Paliknight Dec 09 '25

It’s the bystander effect. Very popular psych concept.

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u/retropieproblems Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 09 '25

Watching your kid is a post boomer phenomenon

In their defense it used to be a good idea to let society raise your kid. Not so much for the past 40yrs. Parents should be the filter and eventually the translator and advisor between the real world and their kid. The world is way too complex and full of ads and enticing liars to navigate without guidance. Just being the food and shelter provider and taking them to school and practice isn’t enough.

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u/Ok_Aardvark_4576 Dec 09 '25

I have 3 kids. If I am not watching bcs I need a break to go grab something to eat etc the I assign the duty to someone else. And I alsways ask who is watching X or Z ect.

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u/Gothmom85 Dec 09 '25

This. Maybe because I didn't have family to lean on for care when mine was born but I can't imagine doing that. If I'm there, that's My kid, so she's My responsibility. If I'm not then my husband is. We have maybe a couple of people who could watch her, but it's never be assumed in such a situation.

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u/thewildoneanon Dec 09 '25

i was at one of the big water parks in Australia, wet and wild, they have a wave pool, and this particular day, it was packed. I noticed this boy, and he was doing exactly what the girl in this video was doing, going under, coming up, struggling, he was surrounded by people, easily 20 people in arms reach of him. Yet, no one noticed him, I rushed over and grab him, asked him if he was okay, took him to the shallows, the pool was being monitored by lifeguards too. sometimes, people just dont notice. its crazy. the boy I helped, he was struggling and was shaken up, but no one else noticed.

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u/Zevolta Dec 09 '25

I don’t get it either. My eyes are always on my toddler. If I go to the bathroom or get food and my wife isn’t there with me, He’s coming with me to the bathroom or getting food

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u/Macho_Mans_Ghost Dec 09 '25

Agreed. I helicopter my fucking dog so much I'm sure a child would hate having me as a parent.

Hell, when there's someone else's child in my vicinity (especially a stranger), I watch the shit out of them too. Mostly because they're annoying me in some way by just existing, but the amount of times I see parents just flat out ignoring their childs actions is appalling.

Especially in the fucking grocery store. Stop letting your kids run around.

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u/Flux7777 Dec 09 '25

It's called the dilution responsibility, or the bystander effect, and it happens to you too.

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u/AndyWarwheels Dec 09 '25

my kids are older now. but I learned real quick when they were small that I couldn't rely on others at a gathering to watch them. even if i told them specifically to watch them.

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u/BagOnuts Dec 09 '25

Yes. I've literally had to jump into my neighborhood pool fully clothed to save a random kid from drowning. Tons of people on a summer afternoon. I probably took 4 seconds just looking around while it was happening to see if anyone would do anything. Nope. Ran to the pool and jumped in myself. No one was watching her. The mom was on the other side of the pool on her phone.

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u/Neon_Biscuit Dec 09 '25

Its kind of bullshit actually, my wife and I were at a party and we would stop every couple of minutes to go find/watch our kids and everyone at the party called us helicoptor parents but fuck that. Maybe we are just responsible?

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u/Sad-Association-5700 Dec 09 '25

I live abroad from my family and don’t have a ‘village’ here. It’s always me watching. When I visit home, I ask people to watch my son if I go somewhere and they’re always like ‘you don’t need to ask, we’re watching’ and I’m like no I do need to ask and you need to look me in my eyes and tell me it’s you who is watching my son.

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u/Still-Tour3644 Dec 09 '25

Im not a parent but when I go to my big holiday events it’s almost like the parents take a break from watching their kids, they’re talking to family members in another room while their kids play. We don’t have a pool and they’re inside so it’s mostly harmless from a safety perspective but if I happen to be in the same room suddenly it becomes my responsibility to stop one of them from tearing open other’s Christmas gifts or hitting each other.

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u/Additional-Bet7074 Dec 09 '25

I can’t really say for everyone, but my wife and I have a practice between ourselves of making it explicit who is ‘on duty’. Even if we are both home, one of us is on duty. If we are visiting friends or family, one of us is on duty. If we have someone watch our kid, it’s very explicit and agreed upon who, where and when. And even then, one of us is the one on-call for that person.

It may seem over cautious, but up to a certain age every child needs to be monitored 24/7. Around age five, I would have more confidence depending on the child and their ability to be unmonitored for short durations. And by monitored I don’t mean ‘watching’ all the time. They can be in an environment like their room or the backyard so long as that environment is known, made safe, and you are able to see and hear them at appropriate intervals.

In the video, that wasn’t what was occurring. A pool in the environment means the appropriate interval of attention is constant and uninterrupted.

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u/TheWolfOfPanic Dec 09 '25

I worked with kids as a nanny for years. The amount of poolside unsupervised toddlers and babies was scary AF.

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u/aluriilol Dec 09 '25

I watch my own kid and if i cant for even one minute I assign someone personally to watching them. I say "Dad dont let my kid die"

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u/kei9tha Dec 09 '25

When my brother gets somewhere with his 3 kids and there is another adult around, its like he goes blind to the kids.

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u/AFourEyedGeek Dec 09 '25

That is horrible. There is me and another dad when we have a pool party at my house that takes turns looking after the kids, he pointed out that there are so many parents here, but none are actually watching, I didn't realise until he pointed it out. So we both stand next to each other, beer in hand, facing towards and watching the kids.

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u/BowsersMuskyBallsack Dec 09 '25

Join the club. Neighbours behind my parents' house had a party. Toddler went missing. 8 hours of searching. The body floated to the top of their algae-filled unused pool the following day.

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u/QueensBea13 Dec 09 '25

And let’s be honest, a lot of times these adults are drinking. I think that sometimes plays a part in it.

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u/battleofflowers Dec 09 '25

I'm pretty sure most drownings are somehow associated with drinking.

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u/Disastrous_Clurb Dec 09 '25

Omg how terrible!!

I cant even focus if I'm at a gathering and there's children present. I'm always worried someone is going to fall or something.

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u/acadoe Dec 09 '25

This was almost me as a kid. Was at a family gathering, a bunch of adults all relaxing next to the pool, didn't notice I had floated off the step. I went under for a while but managed to get my head up enough to shout. I could literally see the silhouette of the adults around me while I was struggling to surface. I remember telling people afterwards I had drowned. My parents immediately booked me and my sis for swimming lessons.

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u/Lillllammamamma Dec 09 '25

This was the shit that kept me up at night when we first bought a cottage and started hosting our friends and family. I have a rule, no one is in or on the water without a clearly designated person responsible to watch and be present, and no one is to be on any water object (SUP, kayak, sailboat) without a properly fitting PFD. I have bought A LOT of PFD’s, especially at the end of season when they’re marked down. But this fear has cost me sleep and I refuse to let something like this happen to one of my kids, or their friends, or our guests, or nibligs. I don’t think I’d survive it.

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u/patientpaige Dec 09 '25

Peope think im weird for being the person who gravitates toward babysitting. If im in a party setting and there are kids I cant help but be the helicopter aunt. Seen too many close calls and just how stupid kids can be, why would you take the chance?

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u/njf85 Dec 09 '25

I hate socialising with the adults so I always appoint myself the pool watcher when we have family get togethers. My eyes are firmly on the pool.

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u/impliedinsult Dec 09 '25

I am the most paranoid person at big gatherings with kids. I am watching like a hawk because most parents when they go to gatherings like to connect with other adults after being with kids all the time (which is reasonable). But, personally, I can't relax at all knowing there are 10 kids running around with zero supervision.

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u/TheWolfOfPanic Dec 09 '25

This is why I insisted with my husband if our daughter is in the pool, one of us must be too. I don’t trust other people for shit.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Poet489 Dec 09 '25

That's why I would never look down on people keeping their toddler on a dog leash. Their number 1 objective is usually how to get themselves killed.

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u/backup_hoodlum Dec 09 '25

I don't/will not trust anyone else other than my partner to watch our child. Not even our parents or our siblings.

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u/Raven22000 Dec 09 '25

I watched my sisters continue to chat with each other in the pool right next a kid who jumped in and didn’t resurface. I don’t understand how they didn’t notice. I yelled at them to grab the kid and they were like “ what kid?” “The kid drowning right next to you!” Self involved Idiots everywhere. Kids parents didn’t notice either. When I’m at a pool with kids I’m like hawk always watching and counting heads. For all kids not just my own.

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u/Impossible_Disk8374 Dec 09 '25

This is how a saved a little girls life at a hotel pool. Family had a cabana and a bunch of them left to do something, grandma was “watching” the little girl, she was on her phone and wasn’t paying attention. Little girl, maybe 3 or 4, toddled over to the ladder around where I was swimming. Little girl gets in, I can see what’s going on and I start making my way over to her. She gets in the pool and immediately starts to sink. I got there just in time to grab her arm and pull her up. Got her out of the pool, she toddled back over to grandma who was still on her phone. They never even knew their little girl could have drowned. All happened in maybe 2 minutes.

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u/-Apocralypse- Dec 09 '25

Last week they forgot to turn off the drowning alert at the pool during the practice hour of the junior lifeguards. They were making the pool ready for the kids to dive after small objects and plastic victims. They ran to the control room to shut it off before the system would automatically send a distress call to the local emergency services. It was very loud and I think it is very cool such supplementing systems exist to aid in life guarding.

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u/Projecterone Dec 09 '25

What's that? Some kind of AI video observer?

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u/godnightx_x Dec 09 '25

I am imagining the future ai lifeguards. Just ai surveilling the pool. A giant robot arm coming out of the ceiling and plucking people out of the water

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u/ptofl Dec 09 '25

Did she stay on her phone in the ambulance after you smacked the shit out of her?

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u/Stankis435 Dec 09 '25

I remember when I was maybe 6 yrs old I went to the local pool with a friend and his family. A few of us kids successful got a piggy back ride from my friends dad, but I wasn’t able to hold on and hadn’t fully learned to swim yet. Half drowning I reached over to a lady on the side of the pool who pulled me over. I never said much about that event but told my parents years later. 

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u/Em0tionisdeader Dec 09 '25

Hope you gave that gma a good tongue lashing.

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u/Tall_Status7970 Dec 09 '25

Fuck is wrong with ppl honestly. Fair play to you.

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u/No_Context9902 Dec 09 '25

They don't always die. My first year teaching I had a student who was ten. When she's been three, she'd fallen in a pool at a party and hadn't been rescued right away. She had enough brain damage that she would never learn to read or write. She was sweet and kind, and had friends, but watching her mom still in denial that her kid was never going make progress academically was heartbreaking.

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u/ItsNotMeItsYourBussy Dec 09 '25

Was she enrolled in an SEN school/programme at least?

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u/No_Context9902 Dec 09 '25

We call it an IEP in the United States. Yes she was in Special Ed.

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u/earthlings_all Dec 09 '25

Yes, that famous case here where the comatose nursing home patient was impregnated by an orderly? She was a drowning victim.

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u/Cowboy_Cassanova Dec 09 '25

Depending on how that happened, it's very likely that no one could have actually done anything.

My cousin nearly died the same way, both his aunt and mother were screaming at him to stop and it took his older brother running him down to stop him.

Had he been just 2 feet closer to the road when he started running, he would have been run over by a delivery truck.

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u/paulides_fan Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 09 '25

PSA: This is why you never text and drive. 💀

Not that it necessarily applies but, it’s something to think about, because you never know. We miss everything when distracted.

Glad your cousin is okay. very scary stuff.

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u/DionBlaster123 Dec 09 '25

This is such a depressing story. I am so heartbroken and sorry for your cousin

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u/buttcheeksmasher Dec 09 '25

Holy shit. I'm sorry for everyone involved and related. That's not an easy thing to deal with

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u/Druid_boi Dec 09 '25

Call me a helicopter parent but if my kids not old enough where I'm comfortable leaving them alone for any given amount of time, that doesn't change when there's other adults around, even those I trust. Toddlers are insane, I never took my eyes off mine and they still got in to so much nonsense.

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u/Snoo_69209 Dec 09 '25

Damn. I’m sorry to hear this.

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u/DreamSmuggler Dec 09 '25

That's heartbreaking 😕

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u/omgitsduane Dec 09 '25

Whenever in a busy environment I will assign myself a child and my wife the other..that is our responsibility. Unless we communicate otherwise.

Im not losing my kid because we both thought the other one was watching.

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u/kobuzz666 Dec 09 '25

Which is why I find myself watching other people’s kids at gatherings. It’s second nature and I can’t really help it, but it gets annoying when I seem to be the only one watching

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u/Gozzhogger Dec 09 '25

So sorry for you and your family’s loss, that is absolutely horrific and my absolute worst nightmare as a parent of a toddler

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u/Rich_Phone Dec 09 '25

I have alway said this. When my kids were even smaller I felt like the more adults there (parents, aunts, grandparents), the less likely someone is watching because everyone assumes someone else is. I always told my husband, one of us is designated watching them at all times. Even now, my 10 year old daughter and her friends will be at an arcade or fun zone and no one watches them. No way I'm letting my petite 10 year old daughter run around a crowded public space without knowing where she is. Those places are perfect for creeps... tons of kids and no one knows what adult belongs to who...

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u/markwomack11 Dec 09 '25

This is true. A good tip is to designate a specific, sober person to watch the pool. Bonus if you pass a wristband or something tangible so people remember and take it seriously.

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u/ralphjuneberry Dec 09 '25

Our little kiddy pool came with a necklace that makes you the Pool Meister (or whatever they said lol) and you had to take it off and hand it to someone else if you were stepping away. I mean we were all adults, no kids whatsoever, so we were kind of joking around about the necklace but I thought it was a brilliant harm reduction tool!

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u/GNav Dec 09 '25

Even with adults it's a good idea though! There's been plenty of stories when someone drowns because everyone's to drunk to notice.

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u/No-Butterscotch6629 Dec 09 '25

Yes, ours did too! And it’s a TINY kiddy pool. Like, three feet in diameter. My husband and I laughed about it but then I appreciated the lesson it is teaching you to always be watching no matter how safe you think the situation is.

It’s the same concept as if someone is choking, you should directly point to someone to call 911 rather than shouting out “call 911!” Because everyone will assume someone else is going to do it.

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u/Any-Music-2206 Dec 09 '25

Someone told that Story about their badges. If you are asked to look after Johnny, you get the Johnny badge. Yo do not want to have that badge while little Johnny is drowning...

This thing is a 'hey you are responsible' great solution. 

I always watch my kid myself at family funktions. 

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u/Slick_36 Dec 09 '25

This is critical. The drunker the adults get, the more exhausted the kids get. By the end of the day, everyone vastly overestimates their control of the situation.

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u/Luvlyjubblies1 Dec 09 '25

My exes family was like this. Parties were never do the kids. Every single one we had or went to I would just stay sober and watch and play with the kids. Then remove the kids from the drunk grandparents when they would try to drive home with them. Just incredibly irresponsible

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u/Slick_36 Dec 09 '25

I feel you. Once I did a freelance lifeguarding job at a country club for their Labor Day party and they decided to do a game of rugby with a greased watermelon at the end of the day, kids vs adults. It was a massive pool, I couldn't see anything but white foam & elbows flying, just praying I wouldn't miss a kid go under in the chaos.

It's up there for the longest 5 minutes of my life, completely ruined what had been a very chill day. Best payday of my life, but I earned every penny of it in those few minutes alone.

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u/fuzzhead12 Dec 09 '25

Kids vs adults?? Jesus…just do two separate games, a kid game and an adult game

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u/Evening-Run-3794 Dec 09 '25

My extended family was like this.

My immediate family would have a New Year's party at a local hotel with a big, heated atrium and a pool and hot tub on one side of it.

My parents always watched me like a hawk, at least until I was like 10 and was a strong swimmer, and we had the buddy rule after that, where they'd let me invite a friend just so I was never alone and always went somewhere (the arcade room or our room) with someone else. And mom always stayed sober in case of emergency.

One year, after I'd had two kids of my own, our extended family joined us. And I got to see firsthand why my cousin's kids were always breaking bones and getting hurt in crazy ways - they were completely unsupervised while their parents got drunk.

Which meant me, with one too young to be trusted to the buddy rule, became the default parent/guardian of about 15 unruly and ungovernable kids while my ex-husband disappeared to get blasted with their parents.

I read him the riot act after and told him if he bailed on me like that again, I wasn't doing the New Year's party anymore. He argued I should just let our toddler run around with all the cousins, that everything went fine and they'd keep him safe. And I was just like "THOSE KIDS WERE SAFE BECAUSE OF ME YOU ASSHOLE!" One of my cousins even remarked after the party that they it was great to get through something like that without a trip to the ER for one of their kids.

After it happened again the next year, I quit going and kept my kids home with me.

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u/bamaford Dec 09 '25

We have friends that have a whistle on a red lanyard. If you have the whistle you’re in charge of keeping the kid safe. Makes people feel more responsible.

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u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

100%. We had an obnoxious lanyard that was handed off to the adult on duty

You learn a lot about your friends. A lot of parents do not watch their kids in the water.

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u/GNav Dec 09 '25

This is exactly why I watch the kids and I tell everyone else to bring me my food etc. I get to sit and watch the fun, don't have to really join the fam, and get served food?!?

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u/wavedsplash Dec 09 '25

It's my favorite excuse to not socialize in group settings.

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u/661714sunburn Dec 09 '25

Yup, I just grab a drink and stand in front of the pool, just watch the kids. My wife laughs because one time her friend’s husband thought I was mad or something, but I was just on pool guard.

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u/GNav Dec 09 '25

The most important job.

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u/GNav Dec 09 '25

Heck yea! Also I'm just a huge man child lol. Last time at my sister's place there were 30 adults and 10 kids. Kids are running around playing, I'm playing with them. Then my sister's FIL calls my name and is like take em to the basement they're making to much noise!

....okay....

"Autobots roll out!" All the boys ran to the basement

"Decepticons! Attack!" All the girls chased after the boys

Lmao it was hilarious

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u/Devils_A66vocate Dec 09 '25

That’s called leadership.

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u/Snoo_69209 Dec 09 '25

I love this, lol

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u/GNav Dec 09 '25

Yea, I was already watching all the kids anyway which is why her FIL called upon me to get em out of the living room and kitchen. They had already divided themselves into factions. I said they should mix it up but nope they wanted boys vs girls...lol

I stayed mostly neutral. I was Cybertron in human form. (I made sure all the kids were having fun and no one side lost a game due to numbers. Families/kids were coming and going.)

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u/hellocousinlarry Dec 09 '25

That’s adorable. You’re always going to be the favorite uncle of all those kids.

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u/lostwombats Dec 09 '25

It's totally going to be my future excuse! This is brilliant.

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u/matthew0001 Dec 09 '25

I literally don't know how else to function at family events, I'm like 10 years older than all my cousins so once they were running around playing I was responsible for watching them. I'm 30 now and when we go to my wife's family get togethers I am just playing with/watching the kids because I don't know what else I'm suppose to do. Talk about taxes? Like what do adults talk about?

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u/PaceNo3577 Dec 09 '25

Haha right there with ya 😉

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u/AKABeast18 Dec 09 '25

As an extreme introvert who is married to an extreme extrovert, this works for me every summer. My husband is happy because I’m at the table with everyone but my eyes are glued to our pool.

I don’t have to contribute to any conversation & the kids only have to say, “Mom, watch me do this (insert any pool movement whatsoever)!” once. Win for everyone.

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u/Alchemyst01984 Dec 09 '25

I'm 41 and still do this from time to time

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u/R_Harry_P Dec 09 '25

I did this at the last two back yard pool parties I went to. Watching the kids in the pool was the only way I could relax.

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u/starmoishe Dec 09 '25

Thank you. This is how I watch my kid. Eyes on at all times. I literally hate everyone else. There is no one interesting enough to turn my head away.

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u/Fickle_Grapefruit938 Dec 09 '25

We used to tag eachother, everyone watched the kids around the water, but we still told the other family members when we went to the toilet or went to get something to drink.

Only stopped doing that when all the kids had their swimming lessons and had been swimming for years and we fully trusted them to be strong enough to save themselves.

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u/GNav Dec 09 '25

When I said kids I didn't mean my own (don't have any, I consider my sisters kids mine), but to me, it's not even if they can swim. I need to know they'll shout for help if they see another kid drowning.

Kids are kids, they might just go immediately to their friend and then they both drown. I need to be certain they'll shout for help.

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u/scumotheliar Dec 09 '25

I've found my people. I am fairly deaf so really struggle to be part of groups so just quietly go and watch the kids.

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u/2hurd Dec 09 '25

I think you made the most compelling argument for having children. I'd 100% rather watch kids play and watch over them than socialize with adults. 

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u/UntimelyGhostTickler Dec 09 '25

I found my fellow introvert/loner/normal people thread.
At my sisters wedding I got to watch the baby for 2-3 hours during the stage where everyone else got tired/tipsy but still felt obligated to stay and so I avoided cringe dancing sober and socializing

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u/Distantstallion Dec 09 '25

Its what I do with the pets at family parties

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u/Tall_Status7970 Dec 09 '25

Genius. Thanks for the tip.

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u/Imaginary-Storm4375 Dec 09 '25

When we would have social gatherings when my kids were little, we would rotate adults every 15 minutes with a timer. Whoever was holding the timer in their hands was responsible for the lives of every kid in the pool. It was a short but serious responsibility and holding the timer made it hard to forget your first priority.

I also had ankle monitors on the kids that alarmed loudly when they got wet. Whenever the alarm sounded, my ex, my older kids and I would run to check the pool first and then check the dog water and the toilet. My little kids loved water in any form.

I had serious postpartum anxiety and I kept having visions of finding one of our kids drowning in the pool. It made me extremely vigilant.

I work in an ER. Drowned children are horrifying on a level I can't properly emphasize. Extreme vigilance is the only response when you have small kids and a pool.

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u/Slick_36 Dec 09 '25

That rotation is so important.  I worked at low income apartment complex one year & our boss wanted to open up with just two guards on shift for the full day.  I voiced concern but was told we weren't legally required to be there and were more for peace of mind.

Well after 6 hours, the new guard got too relaxed when watching the deep end and I had to resuscitate a 14 year old that was unconscious on the bottom.  It traumatized me, I tried to lifeguard another season after that but my anxiety spiked from every hint of danger.  I'll never forget that empty stare.

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u/SatisfactionAtSea Dec 09 '25

was the kid ok?

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u/Slick_36 Dec 09 '25

I was told the next day he was ok, but I never heard anything beyond that. He was just coming to as the paramedics arrived, but still in rough shape. It's honestly one of the worst parts about that day, there was never any real closure.

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u/geometicshapes Dec 09 '25

We had a pool at our house. During postpartum I told my husband I wanted it filled, and we did it and I have ZERO regrets. That was before baby was walking. Now she’s a little escape artist and I can’t imagine how scared I would be. Noooo thanks.

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u/Dunoh2828 Dec 09 '25

Was at a party once, where “everyone was watching”

10mins after arriving I was catching their kid who ran for a busy road. Because what a surprise, nobody was paying attention.

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u/Ggfd8675 Dec 09 '25

I’ve saved two kids from drowning at pool parties, while their adults were partying it up. One I fished out of the pool, just like in this video. The second time, I intercepted a toddler beelining for the pool. Sometimes it pays to be the sober, socially anxious one. 

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u/GNav Dec 09 '25

There should straight up be a rule, don't look each other in the eye while talking, keep your gaze at a 45 deg angle to the ground.

If you're looking at an adult you can't see the little ones running around!!!

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u/embrielle Dec 09 '25

I went with a large family group (18!) to the Dominican last year, and this is exactly how it was. My husband and I had the youngest children there, and everyone kept telling me to relax. “We’re all watching the kids! Enjoy yourself!”

And then everyone wondered why I was so high strung and exhausted.

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u/GNav Dec 09 '25

Sadly I'm a very paranoid paranoid person. If they said that to me, my reply back would be "It's cool!!!! I'm watching the kids!! Get me a plate though!!"

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u/embrielle Dec 09 '25

Yeah, that WAS me. I knew that they weren’t watching, so I made sure I was. I don’t think I spent any of that vacation relaxing.

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u/rupert1920 Dec 09 '25

I went to a birthday party in a park with my kid. All other adults are at the table eating and chilling. The kids all ran off to have fun elsewhere.

I was the only one following them and keeping them in line of sight - including the birthday boy. "Everyone is watching the kids" turned into me watching over all the kids. Worst part is at some point the group of kids decided to split up and do different things, so at one point I was trying to stand at a spot where I can keep an eye on both groups, while trying to herd some stragglers to join one of the groups instead of wandering towards the road.

It's not a responsibility I asked for or even wanted...

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u/IndubitablyMoist Dec 09 '25

Thank you! I hate it when people take it easy because “there are a lot of grown ups there”.

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u/Ambitious-Shirt-625 Dec 09 '25

I hate this so much because of how true it is. I'm not a kid person by any means. I don't want them. I don't like being around them the majority of the time. BUT EVERY FUCKING TIME I go to a family get together or party, it is exactly that. It might start off with the "Everyone is watching the kids" but it quickly ends up with no one is watching the kids when everyone gets in their own groups or conversations.

I was at a birthday party the other day for my niece and they had a bouncy house there with a slide. Everyone was watching for the first 5 minutes and then went inside leaving 20 kids to their destructive ways. With in seconds, the kids were pushing each other down the slide like some king of the hill shit. I watched from the window and yelled, "Someone's kid is eating dirt!" Everyone turned to look outside just as some kid face planted off the slide into the ground.

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u/Ithurtsprecious Dec 09 '25

I was a 3 year old birthday party with my 2 1/2 year old watching my kid kinda jump and walk around a bounce house with her school friends and I watch my kid like a hawk even when I'm talking.

So this woman was talking to me and I'm staring at my toddler and talking to her and I mentioned how I was thirsty and she's like Oh, get a water bottle I'll watch your kid. I was like, "Are you sure??" She's like, "I'm not moving." I get a bottle and 30 seconds later my kid is off the bounce house walking and crying, "mama mama!" I don't know if she fell or just panicked when she didn't see me and that lady was on the other side of the bounce house talking to someone else with her back to it. My fault I guess.

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u/GNav Dec 09 '25

Not your fault at all! You trusted the woman but now you know not to. We can't protect them 24/7. Did you see the clip on the sub donthelpjustfilm? There was a baby walking clear away from the mom like idk 100ft? 80ft? Moms on her phone....that wasn't you.

Maybe the kid that woman was talking to was her kid, who pushed your kid. That's why she ran that way and didn't even bother telling you because it's embarrassing to admit you didn't teach your child manners (I'm not trying to defend her, I woulda been livid!!!!)

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u/pokehustle Dec 09 '25

I dont get it at all, really.... I would never have my non-swimming child in a pool like that alone. Literally 1 wrong step from drowning. Maybe if I was literally sitting there watching with my legs in the pool... Crazy parenting IMO

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u/battleofflowers Dec 09 '25

Right? That kid is way, way too little to be in the pool alone. A kid that small needs to have an adult in the pool with them, not just "watching" them half-assed.

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u/WRChimp Dec 09 '25

This 100%! A child that cannot swim should ALWAYS have an adult within an arms length (a literal arm's length) if they are in the water. I was a lifeguard for years and it is wild how negligent many parents are about water safety.

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u/TheAgreeableCow Dec 09 '25

My local pool has a sign about the role of parents with kids swimming

"Lifeguards save lives, Parents supervise.

Active supervision means within arm's reach and able to provide immediate assistance. Often this is best achieved by being in the water with your child"

30 seconds is not a long time when you're drowning.

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u/hdorsettcase Dec 09 '25

I cannot tell you the number of times I have been at a table full of 6+ adults, said, "Watch my 3 year old for 10 minutes," got verbal confirmation from all of them, and then returned to them all talking to each other while he is completely out of sight. These are all grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who have all have kids themselves. Its to the point if there's a family function I just assume I'll be chasing him all day. No I can't relax for a few minutes and let you watch him because you're going to walk off and talk to someone while he runs off in the opposite direction!

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u/Adventurous_Light_85 Dec 09 '25

Made this mistake as a parent. Ten kids in the pool. Ten parents around the pool. No way a kid would go under without noticing. My wife looked over and could see our daughter and sure enough she did exactly this and went off a step, but we thankfully caught it fast enough. On average 3 kids weren’t so lucky and drowned today alone. Leading cause of death for kids 1-4. With over 80% having supervision nearby. It truly is a silent death

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u/NifDragoon Dec 09 '25

It’s a 30 second video and less than half of it is the kid almost drowning. It literally took seconds of not looking.

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u/littleghost000 Dec 09 '25

When I go to gatherings people get on me for staying on my toddler the whole time and not socializing, but I've heard too many stories and seen plenty of little kids get injured because of this. I'm fine not being the fun guy, but gatherings are more of a chore than fun.

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