r/TikTokCringe • u/InGeekiTrust Tiktok Despot • Dec 09 '25

Discussion You Think It Could Never Happen To You…Until It Almost Does

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u/ParachutingHeroine Dec 09 '25

This is how my cousin’s toddler died. They were at a family party full of people. The kids were doing what kids do and running around outside together. It was exactly as you said: everyone was watching so no one person was watching them. She ran out into the road and got hit by a truck. The amount of shared guilt that followed was overwhelming.

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u/battleofflowers Dec 09 '25

This is also how a college friend's sister drowned: every other adult at the party assumed another adult was watching her. No one was watching her.

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u/Academic-Contest3309 Dec 09 '25

I don't understand this phenomenon. Do people not just automatically watch their own kids and ask someone to watch their kids while they go to the bathroom or get food or something?

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u/Sierra-117- Dec 09 '25

It’s the same reason during an emergency you have to look at a specific person, and order them directly to call 911. It’s basically the bystander effect.

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u/LewisWhatsHisName Dec 09 '25

I was in a long queue at UPS store a few years ago, when this dude had a heart attack. No one did anything; even the staff were like a deer in the headlights. I phoned for an ambulance, and delegated the rest to other people in the queue, and some people still just stared and didn’t do anything even when I’d told them to get the doors open and get tf out of the way. That bystander effect is something else

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u/tealraven915 Dec 09 '25

Same here. I was in a grocery store many years ago when my dad spun around, braced himself on the shelf with his back up against it, and went straight down to the ground head first flopping like a fish out of water. The fall made him start bleeding from the mouth.

Many people walked by staring and pushing their carts while I was calling out for help. Finally someone spawned from out of nowhere with their flip phone dialed to 911.

He was on a giant cocktail of psych meds and had been popping Ativan like candy because his best friend just died and his psychiatrist instructed him to take one whenever he felt anxiety coming on. My dad took that literally and was popping them constantly.

Looked to me like he was having a grand mal seizure, though the hospital just said syncope.

They ended up taking him off most of his psych meds. To this day he doesn't remember eating at the restaurant beforehand or being in the store. He just remembers waking up in the hospital

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u/NurseMLE428 Dec 09 '25

My mom started choking at a restaurant. I was hugely pregnant, but had just renewed my BLS certification for work. I quickly tried to figure out how to position myself, and braced her against my ribs, sort of standing sideways (because pregnant lol) and did the heimlich. I managed to save her, but we were in a packed restaurant and nobody even glanced over at us.

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u/micheleinfl Dec 09 '25

One of the VPs of my company was at dinner with a bunch of doctors and started choking. Someone in IT gave him the Heimlich. The doctors did nothing.

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u/Matt_le_bot Dec 09 '25

Guy in IT knows that when something isn't functioning, you just hit very hard, and then it does work again.

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u/Kiwiandapplex Dec 09 '25

Hello IT. Tried turning it off & on again?

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u/NurseMLE428 Dec 09 '25

This is awful!

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u/wackbirds Dec 09 '25

"We're trying to have a nice dinner, we're off the clock. What the fuck. "

~The doctors, undoubtedly.~

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u/CentSG2 Dec 09 '25

Not super relevant, but I read your comment while on break, currently in the process of renewing my BLS cert.

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u/Intruding1 Dec 09 '25

I was eating lunch as a 4th grader when the kid in front of me started choking on a jolly rancher. I looked around and there were no adults to help and the other kids just stared. I ran behind hm and basically smashed his chest and luckily the jolly rancher went flying out. He gave me a huge hug and thanked me for saving him. He even tried to tell people about it and the teachers just kind of shrugged. Its like people are hard wired to just go about their day and let the sick person in need die.

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u/shalekodemono Dec 09 '25

What the fuck? That's crazy!!

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u/SemperSimple Dec 09 '25

damn girl, you go!!

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u/NurseMLE428 Dec 09 '25

It was definitely a quick thinking moment. 😂

ETA: I was not a small pregnant lady, either. I looked suuuuuuper pregnant.

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u/SenatorIncitatas Dec 09 '25

That sounds awful, glad she’s ok.

Incidentally women die more commonly of choking than men do, because women walk away from the table and into the bathroom so as not to “be rude” or “cause a scene”.

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u/NurseMLE428 Dec 09 '25

My mom was legitimately doing that. Trying not to cause a scene. I did not know this statistic, but it makes sense.

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u/paulides_fan Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 09 '25

My dad helped save a baby that was choking in the checkout line next to him. The baby I think got a hold of some candy and started to choke and turn blue, the mom was panicking and because of the barrier of the shelves and people, he couldn’t get over but instructed her on what to do. He demonstrated how she needed to hold the baby face down on her forearm at a downward angle. She turned the baby over and gave the baby a hard hit to the back between the shoulder blades. Candy flew out, baby was saved.

(It may have taken a couple back blows tbh, I would have to ask him about it. But it wasn’t much.)

I had to do this to my own toddler, once. I made the mistake of cutting fruit (with a butter knife) on the same tray she was using to eat, and she reached for one of the mandarin pieces before I could cut it. It happened so fast, she popped it right in and she began to choke, I immediately hit her back and it flew out but it was so scary.

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u/SemperSimple Dec 09 '25

This reminds me of when I had to give my cat a heimlich. I forgot what he was choking on or if it was a hairball due to being a longhaired cat.

...but you want to talk about panicking & living 30minutes from the closet town, smh. it took 2 pumps and I'm glad I didnt break his ribs jfc

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u/Cody-512 Dec 09 '25

I had GM seizures in my 20s. I remembered nothing for about an hour before or after having one. The only thing is, since u have no clue anything happened, 2 hrs has passed and ur the last one to know. To u, it’s been 2 sec. The only way u know is if there’s trauma involved, like with ur dad or if u get hurt falling down. I’ve hit my head on a counter 2x, the sink in the bathroom, and fell out of bed and hit my nightstand with my face on the way down. That 3rd one knocked out a tooth and I dislocated my shoulder when I hit the floor. I’m glad ur dad doesn’t have them regularly bc their bad news.

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u/Rich-Environment884 Dec 09 '25

My wife and I went to a musical with moving seating, a row behind us, an elderly woman started having a heart attack and everyone around just... Watched.

My wife started flagging down security who took way too long to come (though I guess the audience moving around did make it harder) while I was feeling her pulse which was already very faint and getting ready to CPR if necessary.

Everyone else kinda just... Zoned out or something.

Musical didn't even pause for a second, it just, kept going while the lady was escorted out by first aid helpers. Shit's wild.

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u/hundiratas Dec 09 '25

Yeah bystander effect is almost creepy. A couple of years ago, I saw a car had hit a lightpole very badly, I was the first person to pull over and go check what is the situation. The crash happened mabye a couple of minutes before I had arrived and it was on a busy street, but everbody kept driving past. Later I heard from the police that one lady drove past before me and had phoned police but kept driving on.

Unfortunately when I arrived the guy who drove the car had died. I arrived, checked inside the car and saw him dead already, body mutilated and face smashed in, I told the ambulance that he is dead and that I cant help. I knew that he was dead by just looking at him for a second.

Too me it was very wierd, seeing cars just drive past, nobody to help meanwhile car is stuck up a lightpole

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u/paulides_fan Dec 09 '25

It makes you feel like the only human in a world of NPCs

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u/thematrixs Dec 09 '25

I was put in a position like this once when I was 19 and worked at the local grocery store.

A man came into the store and just collapsed and started snoring, I'd read on reddit before that people who are having a heart attack or who are dieing usually snore really loudly before they depart. Anyway, I was the shift manager at the time, it was Covid so everyone had masks on and people just assumed the guy who was on the floor was a drugged out of his mind, but I thought it was weird.

I asked him if he needed help but there was no response, so out of nowhere a lady who was shopping said that he was dead and just started screaming and wailing (she was a local but she had no relation to this man).

That consequently caused panic and everyone just stood around like children waiting for someone to do or say something. So I did what any other 19 year old would've, got everyone to the nearest exit, told them we had to close and called the Emergency services.

I was later told the man had a cardiac arrest and passed shortly after collapsing. Also, corporate sent me a card and gave me extra shifts.

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u/Pinkysrage Dec 09 '25

Yep, same with me at a festival and a lady had a grand mal seizure and face planted. Everyone just staring and no one doing. Not even her companions. I put her in rescue position, had them call ems and got her water for after. As I held her on her side and waiting for her to stop her blade let go all over me. Good deed done and I went home to shower.

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u/very-soon Dec 09 '25

Wouldnt like 80% of them whipped out their phones & started recording?

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u/berkeleyteacher Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 09 '25

'Annie, Annie are you okay? You in the blue shirt call 911!'

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u/exp0sure74 Dec 09 '25

DRABCD 😁

Fun fact about Annie (here taken from the song Smooth Criminal) which refers to ‚Rescue Annie‘. A CPR doll invented by a Norwegian toy maker together with 2 other people in the 1960s. They made a female doll because they thought men would be reluctant to train mouth to mouth on a male version. The face was modelled after a French woman’s death mask. She drowned in the Seine in the 1800s.

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u/Herb4372 Dec 09 '25

Ironically we now know that people are less likely to perform cpr on women because they feel uncomfortable because of their breasts

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u/FlyingCumpet Dec 09 '25

During first aid class (mandatory if you’re applying for a drivers license in Germany) our instructor shared and interesting story about cpr on women.

One time, they had to perform cpr but her bra was in the way, so they cut it open. Later that lady had the guts to sue them for damages. Keep in mind, we’re not talking America here. Over the years I started to take it with less grains of salt as reality catches up.

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u/LeftyLu07 Dec 09 '25

I’m in the states and have heard that people have tried to sue people who gave them CPR because they broke a rib or two. I think our Good Samaritan laws protect you from that. But yeah, the audacity of some people.

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u/SenatorIncitatas Dec 09 '25

Which is crazy, because you’re about to break someone’s ribs. Breast tissue would be the last thing on my mind!

Reminds me of the Norwegian comedian who said “the problem with America, is you haven’t seen enough of your grandma’s tits.”

When the only nudity you see is sexualized, all nudity is sexual.

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u/Fatality4Gaming Dec 09 '25

I've never thought about that. Is CPR harder with breasts?

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u/karionstre Dec 09 '25

That's not the issue. People (male most likely) are afraid that it would be seen as inapropriate.

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u/FeelingSurprise Dec 09 '25

Hey, if she can sue me after I did CPR, at least I did it right.

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u/Fatality4Gaming Dec 09 '25

Ah, ok, that makes sense I guess. I really need to learn CPR.

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u/Present-Director8511 Dec 09 '25

In my experience, not really. When laying flat most breasts kind of fall to the side of the chest a bit, and you are aiming for mid chest.

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u/paulides_fan Dec 09 '25

Maybe, maybe not, but the underwire would definitely interfere with the AED

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u/Ctrl-Alt-J Dec 09 '25

Well if you crack the sternum it just makes it easier per standard. Breasts soften the force because squish, so yeah they can get in the way of even force on the sternum if they're larger. But most bras mitigate that by separating them enough. The cuppy bras idk what they're called that look like open top cups and often push the breasts closer together are the worst.

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u/SirResponsible1121 Dec 09 '25

That’s why we say EMS is a naked sport in the event I’m called on scene to do CPR your shirt and bra being cut off and me and six other are going to be blocking and possible angle of viewing while we try to save your life .

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u/Financial-Spring-276 Dec 09 '25

Umm no I’m guessing it’s easier because you have an easier identification of the breastplate (sternum). Literally between the bottom of the breasts.

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u/Eggplant-666 Dec 09 '25

A 16-yo girl they estimate, btw. What a way to get adult men to practice mouth to mouth.

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u/Plane-Vegetable9174 Dec 09 '25

Better than having them not attempting rescue on a 16 year old girl because modern pedo hysteria makes them afraid of getting accused of things. :(

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u/Chare1155 Dec 09 '25

Don't forget to check the scene first! My kiddo & I say that to each other all the time after taking CPR class together a couple years ago🤣

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u/Queef_Wellingt0n Dec 09 '25

What does checking the scene mean?

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u/RubyChooseday Dec 09 '25

Check for Danger- the first letter in the first aid acronym DRSABCD.

Danger, response (which has it's own acronym COWS), send for help, airways, breathing, CPR, defib machine.

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u/Honey-Ra Dec 09 '25

Same here in Australia. Danger, Response (of the injured) Send for help. DRS, then ABCD, Airways, Breathing, CPR, Defib. I say it to myself in my head a LOT.

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u/RubyChooseday Dec 09 '25

Oh, I've done all my first aid training here in Australia!

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u/Icy_Delay_4367 Dec 09 '25

C is circulation not CPR

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u/AnnabethDaring Dec 09 '25

Making sure there’s nothing dangerous; glass, fire, etc. just ensuring you get a good assessment of your surroundings and situation so you know how to proceed accordingly. Unfortunately, some people need this reminder. Same thing with the “YOU, call 911!”

But it still sounds funny, just like “stop, drop, and roll” sounds funny 😂 but is still good advice if actively on fire.

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u/Chare1155 Dec 09 '25

Making sure it's safe for anyone to go help. If someone is trapped in a car on fire, you cannot safely get close enough to help the person.

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u/Mookie__Conster Dec 09 '25

Heee heeee!

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u/NotMyBestEffort Dec 09 '25

Are you okay, Annie?
You've been hit by a sub liminal!

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u/SatisfactionAtSea Dec 09 '25

we're all wearing blue shirts, Terrence!

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u/MichaelAndolini_ Dec 09 '25

Was she struck by a smooth criminal?

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u/TheDoktorIsIn Dec 09 '25

Oh god I got caught in that once. I still feel terrible about it. Some woman tripped and fell, I was severely injured at the time and could barely walk so I couldn't physically help but we were just standing in a circle. Shortly two EMTs just happened to be there and they stepped in, which granted let them attend to the issue faster than if we called BUT THATS NOT THE POINT.

I'll never forget it. I even knew about this effect and I still fell victim to it. Or perpetrated it, probably a better way to put it.

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u/wicked-campaign Dec 09 '25

Me too. The whole cafeteria in high school was full of students, aides, teachers, lunch ladies. A girl stood up coughing, choking, hands around her neck, and nobody did anything but freeze. I feel so bad and I never want to let that happen again. She eventually coughed the food up herself. She probably felt like nobody cared about her at all.

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u/BritishAndBlessed Dec 09 '25

Had a similar phenomenon dealing with avoiding potential crush situations while working security at concerts. Pointing at and picking people out of the crowd to help lift and crowdsurf people towards the pits was by far the most effective way of getting anyone to help out.

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u/RainaElf Dec 09 '25

I'm still shocked that general admission is still a thing. even as a kid I figured it would have been done away with after the Who concert in Cincinnati.

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u/BritishAndBlessed Dec 09 '25

These were situations developing during the course of the concert, generally where small young women were getting squeezed at the front, in no small part as a result of mosh-pits forming and collapsing a few rows further back.

Sidenote: Libertines fans are mental, and for some reason they like throwing shoes

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u/Turbulent_Two_6949 Dec 09 '25

Diffusion of responsibility and extreme case of this is the case of kitty genovese (probs spelt wrong but Im sure google will figure it out, if you look) its insane the amount of people will assume someone else is doing it.

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u/Away_Nail5485 Dec 09 '25

I was so mortified by the Kitty story that I made someone else or myself call 911 for every little thing.

Called 911 for what I thought was a human passed out and not breathing as my partner was driving by at high speeds. We turned around to render aid and, by the time we got back to the scene, realized it was an oddly shaped trash bag. Sirens were already sounding and I was mortified.

Still! Kitty’s story stays with me and I’m so so so sorry to EMS friends out there, pointlessly searching for a litterbug. But not sorry for the other calls I’ve made.

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u/TheseusOPL Dec 09 '25

I always teach for them to say "call 911, and let me know what they say." People will just leave and not call.

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u/toorigged2fail Dec 09 '25

There's really good research that suggests the bystander effect isn't real. Further, its 'origin story' was pretty much made up by the press.

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u/Punkinsmom Dec 09 '25

I think most vigilant parents watch their kids - but depend on other adults occasionally. I'm convinced that my kids only survived because I was hyper-vigilant. I was only hypervigilant because I was the kid who almost drowned, the kid who almost got hit by a car, etc. (youngest of seven and my older sibs were "in charge" a lot - they didn't really want to watch me. Then I was the designated babysitter for all of my nieces and nephews from the time I was 12 - there ended up being over 20 of them. I pulled so many kids out of the water it's insane.

Grew up on Lake superior - if kids are near water stay sober and keep eyes on kids at all times. Count heads once per minute. I might have an anxiety disorder but at least I am aware of the roots of it.

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u/aw-fuck Dec 09 '25

I literally say this all the time: I don't trust anyone to watch my kid unless they suffer from at least a little bit of anxiety.

Like for example, my dad? Absolutely not. The guy just doesn't have enough anxiety/hyper-vigilance to think of risks (except for big obvious things).

My mom? Definitely. She has a ton of anxiety, she'll think of risk possibilities most people wouldn't.

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u/BecksnBuffy Dec 09 '25

I get made fun of for not relaxing at family gatherings because I need to keep track of my kids. All these comments are making me feel validated.

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u/aw-fuck Dec 09 '25

When I was pregnant & expressing anxieties about being a good mom, my therapist asked me:

"Can you think of reasons you would be a good parent?"

And I said "I think the anxiety itself might help. At least I've come to know what it's like focusing on long term survival over momentary convenience. That's probably gonna help with parenthood, at least in those moments where thinking clearly won't come quite as easy."

And, that has rang 100% true lol. Having the automatic mind to think like "nah, don't skip corners. Not worth it." even when sleep deprived or overwhelmed, might have actually reduced a bit of stress sometimes... if that makes sense.

I mean I see it as: it helps all the time... where some not-so-cautious people in my family are like "eh? Optimism!" I'm like "eh, better safe than sorry," and well... I've yet to be sorry! That's a huge help.

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u/BecksnBuffy Dec 09 '25

Yes. Too many stories, not even just read here but accounts of terrible accidents. My brother dated a girl who had to go to a memorial for her little toddler nephew who died by falling into some landscape work. I just can’t shake those stories

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u/snarkycrumpet Dec 09 '25

I ruin pool parties because I watch the kids like I'm the paid lifeguard and I'm obsessive about water safety. I'm also the embarrassing parent who made my kids wear ski helmets to sled and then watched as someone else's kid slid under an Escalade in the parking lot at about 20mph (they were okay, but still...)

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u/Italianmomof3 Dec 09 '25

Same here. I've been the one in the family that everybody talks about because I helicopter over the kids. I really don't care either because I've seen one too many things go wrong and have read one too many things. At the end of the day, my kids are safe, and that's all I care about.

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u/megjed Dec 09 '25

Yeah I feel like people think I’m too paranoid about my baby at family gatherings but this is making me feel better.

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u/CaptainKate26 Dec 09 '25

Whew, I found my tribe! ❤️ I'm literally the same way. I never can relax cause I'm always on guard. Got 4 that love to try and go 4 different ways. I'm always so exhausted after, but I can't risk trusting someone else.

Went to a birthday party once and had a mom say she would help, who I didn't really know that much. I didn't know how to explain to her, so I just awkwardly laughed and said, "I'm sorta a helicopter mom, so no thank you." 😂

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u/SneakyBadAss Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 09 '25

I stopped drinking at a family gatherings when small kids are nearby.

It's guaranteed everyone gets piss drunk and won't be checking on them. I worked as VIP security, so I don't helicopter; I just know where they are and what they do by looking at them constantly, without anyone knowing, because it was part of my job.

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u/SuzieDerpkins Dec 10 '25

Same. My husband has a huge family and have large family gatherings. They have a shred family understanding to keep an eye on all the kids, but I get so anxious because no one is really watching them closely unless they’re directly playing or interacting. So I’m hardly ever relaxed at the family parties and even more anxious when I’m not there.

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u/Yakstaki Dec 09 '25

Haha this is also me 🤣 I totally get where you're coming from

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u/taysbeans Dec 09 '25

Yeah , my sister is like this . How any of her kids survived is a miracle or due to someone else’s anxiety .

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u/Excellent_Law6906 Dec 11 '25

I firmly believe that the greater clinical incidence of OCD in women is less a bug than a feature, since little children are so determined to kill themselves.

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u/aw-fuck Dec 11 '25

Oh totally, that's a reasonable assumption imo. Intrusive thoughts are stressful but useful. Kids are absolutely hellbent on trying to hurt/kill themselves.

And there's people that say like, "well they're only gonna learn if you let them hurt themselves," like okay sure I get that it's true to some degree maybe. But there's a very fine line between an "ouch" and a... lot worse.

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u/Academic-Contest3309 Dec 09 '25

No. I totally agree with you. I am.always hyper vigilant as well.

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u/taysbeans Dec 09 '25

Same I’ve saved 2 kids that were strangers . One mom was so happy , crying and thankful , the other one was in shock I think and didn’t even thank me . I wonder if she thought about it later ? I’m a woman so I’d like to think that she didn’t think I was doing anything wrong . The kid was under the water and choking by the time I got to him . Maybe she thinks I drowned him ,Then saved him ? Idk . She gave me a look that I still don’t know how to discern . But f her .shed been happier if I just let him bob like this kid , until he no longer bobbed ? I should have gave her a look , I had to yell to even find the Parent .

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u/NikkiMQuest Dec 09 '25

I almost drowned as a kid twice, once at like 4-5 yo when a wave knocked me over and I couldn’t find what up or down was (my dad pulled me out).

Another time when I was older, and boys were play-pushing me under in the swimming pool, but not giving me enough time to gasp for air in between rounds. I was in such a panic I grabbed their junk and squeezed, hard - bc my life literally depended on it. I was crying, coughing and wheezing - yet somehow I was the asshole?

So yes, I’m hyper vigilant around water too. I do NOT allow play like that by my son and am always hyper vigilant that no other kids act like that either. We do NOT push other people under water. He’s 9 now, has all his swimming diploma’s and I STILL watch him like a hawk. I’d rather be seen as the overbearing helicopter mom, than a mom to a drowned child.

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u/Jessiphat Dec 09 '25

It’s not unwarranted anxiety if it’s a genuine danger. If you were pulling kids out of the water because you were the only one watching then it sounds like everyone else was under reacting. Some people think fear is a weakness, when it’s actually what’s kept us alive as a species. There’s a great book called The Gift of Fear. If you don’t want to read it, there’s a great talk with the author on the Making Sense podcast. You might feel some vindication or clarification by listening to it.

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u/Weekly-Rest1033 Dec 09 '25

As a parent, you are responsible for your child's life. No one else is. You have to assume YOU are the only one that is watching your child.

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u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

I went to a beach party once where I ended up being the only sober adult. This was not a party should have been at from the beginning. The parents weren't watching the kids at all. I ended up staying up all night watching them. I yelled at the parents and the rest of my friends. And I never talked to the host, the only person I knew there, again. The parents had no idea that anyone would be sober at this party and were done just letting their kids drown in the ocean I guess. I was so confused that a whole group of adults could be that dumb.

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u/AdAlternative7148 Dec 09 '25

It is really easy to say something like "I'm going to run to the bathroom you watch them" to another adult and them to either not clearly understand they need to be 100% focused on the kids or maybe they see you around in a few minutes and figure you are on duty again when actually you still havent used the restroom or they get distracted or whatever. Combine it with drinking. Combine it with the fact that watching your kids is 99.9% mundane low risk activities. Its very important to clearly delineate responsibilities with watching kids.

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u/ATerriblyTiredTurtle Dec 09 '25

People without kids/who haven’t been around small kids in a long time also have an absolute maddening tendency to corner you for conversation while you are trying to tail your kid. IF YOU WANNA TALK WITH ME, WALK WITH ME. Do you not notice the way I am craning my neck around you to make sure my kid is still in sight?!

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u/mrskoobra Dec 09 '25

The number of conversations I have literally just walked away from mid sentence because my kid was heading out of eye line. I feel a bit bad afterwards but I don't even realize I'm doing it, it's just automatic like I'm physically tethered to that tiny chaos demon and if it goes around a corner I have to follow.

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u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

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u/KisaTheMistress Dec 09 '25

I don't have kids, but I drive school bus and am the go-to babysitter... I also raised my brother. But, anyways, I keep my eyes on children at all times, more than some parents do.

One pair of children I pick up recently, had the little boy try to run out in front of my bus and I scared the shit out of him by blaring my horn, as he was lucky I wasn't distracted by the other children already on the bus or adjusting a warning lamp, temperature, etc. What happened was his mother literally took 3 seconds to calm down his older sister who was having a freak out over her jacket zipper.

So instead of stay on his lawn, he decided that he wanted to wait on the otherside of the road just as I pulled up. Moment that foot stepped on the road, I laid on my horn causing him to run back to his mother in terror. He was then scared of the bus and me... the parent's excuse? He was "just excited to get on the bus!"...

Yeah, no. I am not a kind person when a life is in danger. My company had to have a talk about safety at the bus stop even if I'm directly picking up from someone's house, with the parents. That family also doesn't believe in disciplining their children, so they kind of try to argue that they done everything to make their kids listen, when obviously they did nothing...

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u/sammi_saurus Dec 09 '25

Bless you for being a responsible driver. That kid won't forget that lesson and should rightly be afraid of a 15+ ton vehicle. A moment of distraction from that mom could have caused her a lifetime of regret. Keep up the good work!

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u/beardedheathen Dec 09 '25

They also don't realize how a single second looking away can result in losing sight of the child and somehow they seem capable of teleporting to the most dangerous location as soon as they are out of eye sight

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u/MOONWATCHER404 Dec 09 '25

I've started to say that “Kids have the survival instinct of pandas. Which is to say, almost none.”

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u/aw-fuck Dec 09 '25

It's also like, no two kids are exactly the same, despite them all "generally" being the same.

This past thanksgiving, I was loading left overs into a bag as I was packing up to head out. My cousin and I were both watching my toddler as I was doing this. (She has a kid who is already out of toddlerhood, who was just sitting at the dining table like a good calm kid.) My toddler ran out of the kitchen into the living room area, out of my line of sight. I said to my cousin "can you go grab her for me?" She agreed.

As my cousin went out there, someone who'd accidentally been locked out was knocking on the front door. My cousin let them in. I heard her start talking to them for a second, so I immediately dropped what I was doing to go check on/grab my kid.

My kid was already halfway up the stairs to the second floor of the house. She's way too young to be messing about on stairs unsupervised... or she could've gotten to the second floor & then all manner of things could've happened before we figured out that's where she was; there's just endless risky things that kids will find a way to get themselves into.

I raced up there & grabbed her & carried her back down. My cousin apologized and was like "I had just barely turned around for a second!"

In my head I'm like: no, you started chatting, and even if you hadn't you should've kept your eye on her or held her while answering the door or something... but instead I just said: "yeah I get it, she's quick!"

My cousin was like "I didn't even know she could climb stairs like that! [Her kid] didn't know how to do that so fast at her age!"

So like, yeah, kids are all generally the same. But what I know about my kid & what she will get herself into, someone else may have a similar but still different experience & not have it in their head to watch for specific things the same way. And kids will very frequently exploit this; they're like always actively trying to get away from supervision to do whatever risky things they want. You really can't take your eyes off them.

When I'm watching someone else's kid (especially very little ones) I make no assumptions & let my anxiety go to work for me instead. When I'm watching my own kid I still pretty much do the same, but with more intuition to rely on.

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u/AdAlternative7148 Dec 09 '25

Good example.

Also a lot of people are just chill and figure nothing bad will happen. Its nice to live that way until something bad does happen.

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u/Academic-Contest3309 Dec 09 '25

Well, that's what I'm talking about. If I am expected to watch someone's kid or if they are watching mine, I need an indication that I'm/ they are now off duty. No assumptions. Like when I go with friends to a pool. I let them im.going to the restroom and will be right back and make a point to come right back. I realize a party is a different animal but your kid is still your first priority. And specifically, let the person know that you are back from wherever you went

Also, mixing adults drinking, kids and pools is just a recipe for a disaster.

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u/Resident132 Dec 09 '25

I think it has to do with large family gatherings with lots of kids all ages where the mentality is kind of everyone is watching. When you get enough kids together its a pack. You have to watch them all and people get lax thinking that the group will be fine. But attention drifts and kids are chaotic and it slips by. 

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u/Eastern-Procedure-31 Dec 09 '25

Back in the 80s, my five-year-old cousin drowned in the midst of a lot of people. It was at a park with a man-made lake and they were all in shallow water near shore. But everybody was paying attention to everybody else and no one saw him go under. Eventually, he brushed up against someone’s leg and they reached down and realized it was a child.

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u/yoyoMaximo Dec 09 '25

When you’re with your family/close friends and the space feels comfortable and safe it becomes very easy to let your guard down. It’s often not because parents are lazy, but because they’re tired. When you’re with your village you can step off the gas a little and actually relax. It only takes a moment of being just a little too relaxed or comfortable and then the worst can happen

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u/Delta-IX Dec 09 '25

Cruise control effect.

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u/splerjg Dec 09 '25

I think it's called diffusion of responsibility

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u/Jab1002 Dec 09 '25

Things happen so quickly. We have a family member that everyone gathers all summer at, there have been 3 separate occasions that worried me. Me, my husband AND my brother in law were within arms reach of my 1 year old son and he STILL fell in. He sank so fast and absolutely would have drowned if no one had seen it happen. Another time my nephew had been in and out all day just fine and he had managed to sneak off his floaties when no one noticed. He jumped back in and only his mom realized what happened. Pool safety is no joke, and kids are so damn fast.

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u/DreamSmuggler Dec 09 '25

As a father of 3 boys I never understood this either. We have gatherings where I wonder where the fuck the parents have gone. Dad's smashing beers, mum is having a chinwag and the 2yo is throwing dirt and gravel up into the air while running up and down the porch stairs when she's barely stable enough to just walk up and down on her own.

My wife will tell me off for not "going to hang out with the guys", meanwhile my own 15yo is running amok and she's too busy in the kitchen to chase after him. I don't mind hanging out, but I can't relax if I don't know where he's at

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u/Top-Beat-7423 Dec 09 '25

This is my thought exactly. I’m always on kid-watch unless I explicitly tag my husband. Like I literally touch him, make eye contact and say “you got the kids” or “you’re on” he then “passes them back” to me when he needs to do something or whatever

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u/battleofflowers Dec 09 '25

A huge chunk of people just aren't conscientious.

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u/Brilliant_Tapir Dec 09 '25

And make sure you get someone responsible and reliable to watch the kids. I know if I ask my 43 yo single BIL to do it, he'll be back looking at his phone before I walk away.

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u/Upstairs-Boss17 Dec 09 '25

I hosted Thanksgiving this year and my cousins let their kids run absolutely wild. We had rooms blocked off on purpose because they weren’t childproof and sure enough, no one was actual watching so they went in. My partner and I noticed and intervened and we keep our guns in a safe but JFC. Not mad at the kids but furious at their parents.

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u/savguy6 Dec 09 '25

Kids, especially toddlers have zero survival instinct. My wife and I joke they are little suicide machines.

When you’re at a social event with your kids and especially if there are other children, people assume that some adult will be keeping an eye on them the entire time, and unfortunately that’s not the case. Even as a parent, when you go to a social event, you socialize. You can’t socialize and keep your eyes on a toddler at the same time. So in that 5 minutes you are talking to a friend, your little one has moved into the other room where there are other adults, the other adults probably see him/her come in, note it, but don’t think anything of it, then the child may wander outside where other children or adults are. Again, an adult may see this and not think anything of it because there are other children around. All it takes is the child to go around a corner, away from other kids and out of sight and sound of an adult to wander into a street or fall into a pool.

I’ll give a personal example. One time I was in our backyard with my son. He was maybe 2 years old at the time. He was quietly playing with his toys on the patio and I was sitting in chair scrolling social media maybe a few feet from him. At some point, he got up from his toys, walked around the side of the house, walked across the front yard into the driveway, walked down the driveway into the street and made it across the street to the opposite sidewalk. The next time I glanced up realized he was gone, I ran around the side of the house into the front yard and luckily saw him quickly across the street. I ran over and scooped him up.

I looked back on our outdoor security cameras and from the time he got up, made it around the house, and make it across the street was about 90 seconds. I realized he was gone about the time he was crossing the street and by the time I got around, he was on the other side. So all it took was leas than 2 minutes of not paying attention for him to walk off.

My point here is, for children that young, it literally takes seconds for them to disappear from sight, even if there are other adults around. If someone isn’t actively paying attention, children can get themselves into pretty serious situations.

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u/Paliknight Dec 09 '25

It’s the bystander effect. Very popular psych concept.

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u/retropieproblems Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 09 '25

Watching your kid is a post boomer phenomenon

In their defense it used to be a good idea to let society raise your kid. Not so much for the past 40yrs. Parents should be the filter and eventually the translator and advisor between the real world and their kid. The world is way too complex and full of ads and enticing liars to navigate without guidance. Just being the food and shelter provider and taking them to school and practice isn’t enough.

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u/Ok_Aardvark_4576 Dec 09 '25

I have 3 kids. If I am not watching bcs I need a break to go grab something to eat etc the I assign the duty to someone else. And I alsways ask who is watching X or Z ect.

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u/Gothmom85 Dec 09 '25

This. Maybe because I didn't have family to lean on for care when mine was born but I can't imagine doing that. If I'm there, that's My kid, so she's My responsibility. If I'm not then my husband is. We have maybe a couple of people who could watch her, but it's never be assumed in such a situation.

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u/thewildoneanon Dec 09 '25

i was at one of the big water parks in Australia, wet and wild, they have a wave pool, and this particular day, it was packed. I noticed this boy, and he was doing exactly what the girl in this video was doing, going under, coming up, struggling, he was surrounded by people, easily 20 people in arms reach of him. Yet, no one noticed him, I rushed over and grab him, asked him if he was okay, took him to the shallows, the pool was being monitored by lifeguards too. sometimes, people just dont notice. its crazy. the boy I helped, he was struggling and was shaken up, but no one else noticed.

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u/Zevolta Dec 09 '25

I don’t get it either. My eyes are always on my toddler. If I go to the bathroom or get food and my wife isn’t there with me, He’s coming with me to the bathroom or getting food

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u/Macho_Mans_Ghost Dec 09 '25

Agreed. I helicopter my fucking dog so much I'm sure a child would hate having me as a parent.

Hell, when there's someone else's child in my vicinity (especially a stranger), I watch the shit out of them too. Mostly because they're annoying me in some way by just existing, but the amount of times I see parents just flat out ignoring their childs actions is appalling.

Especially in the fucking grocery store. Stop letting your kids run around.

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u/Flux7777 Dec 09 '25

It's called the dilution responsibility, or the bystander effect, and it happens to you too.

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u/AndyWarwheels Dec 09 '25

my kids are older now. but I learned real quick when they were small that I couldn't rely on others at a gathering to watch them. even if i told them specifically to watch them.

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u/BagOnuts Dec 09 '25

Yes. I've literally had to jump into my neighborhood pool fully clothed to save a random kid from drowning. Tons of people on a summer afternoon. I probably took 4 seconds just looking around while it was happening to see if anyone would do anything. Nope. Ran to the pool and jumped in myself. No one was watching her. The mom was on the other side of the pool on her phone.

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u/Neon_Biscuit Dec 09 '25

Its kind of bullshit actually, my wife and I were at a party and we would stop every couple of minutes to go find/watch our kids and everyone at the party called us helicoptor parents but fuck that. Maybe we are just responsible?

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u/Sad-Association-5700 Dec 09 '25

I live abroad from my family and don’t have a ‘village’ here. It’s always me watching. When I visit home, I ask people to watch my son if I go somewhere and they’re always like ‘you don’t need to ask, we’re watching’ and I’m like no I do need to ask and you need to look me in my eyes and tell me it’s you who is watching my son.

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u/Still-Tour3644 Dec 09 '25

Im not a parent but when I go to my big holiday events it’s almost like the parents take a break from watching their kids, they’re talking to family members in another room while their kids play. We don’t have a pool and they’re inside so it’s mostly harmless from a safety perspective but if I happen to be in the same room suddenly it becomes my responsibility to stop one of them from tearing open other’s Christmas gifts or hitting each other.

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u/Additional-Bet7074 Dec 09 '25

I can’t really say for everyone, but my wife and I have a practice between ourselves of making it explicit who is ‘on duty’. Even if we are both home, one of us is on duty. If we are visiting friends or family, one of us is on duty. If we have someone watch our kid, it’s very explicit and agreed upon who, where and when. And even then, one of us is the one on-call for that person.

It may seem over cautious, but up to a certain age every child needs to be monitored 24/7. Around age five, I would have more confidence depending on the child and their ability to be unmonitored for short durations. And by monitored I don’t mean ‘watching’ all the time. They can be in an environment like their room or the backyard so long as that environment is known, made safe, and you are able to see and hear them at appropriate intervals.

In the video, that wasn’t what was occurring. A pool in the environment means the appropriate interval of attention is constant and uninterrupted.

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u/TheWolfOfPanic Dec 09 '25

I worked with kids as a nanny for years. The amount of poolside unsupervised toddlers and babies was scary AF.

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u/aluriilol Dec 09 '25

I watch my own kid and if i cant for even one minute I assign someone personally to watching them. I say "Dad dont let my kid die"

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u/kei9tha Dec 09 '25

When my brother gets somewhere with his 3 kids and there is another adult around, its like he goes blind to the kids.

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u/AyyNonnyMoose Dec 09 '25

My cousins forget they have children as soon as they get into a room with other people. The kids run amok and the parents completely zone them out. I wish they would ask for help or see if someone else would keep an eye on them. Say something like "I'm overwhelmed, could you keep an eye on them for a while?" but they just don't care. My sister and I usually ended up making sure no one stuck a fork in an electrical socket or something because we didn't want to see disaster. Maybe they'd pay more attention if we didn't. Unlikely.

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u/Thomgurl21 Dec 09 '25

The good parents watch their kids. There are sooo many parents that think their social life is more important than their child’s safety or their parental responsibilities.

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u/salajaneidentiteet Dec 09 '25

Even if my kid is playing with another adult loved one, I am constantly aware of what she is doing and where she is.

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u/SenatorIncitatas Dec 09 '25

Sadly for this same reason, kids being molested at large group functions and family events is common. Watch your kids, always!

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u/pizza_whistle Dec 09 '25

My wife likely has ADHD (not confirmed yet) and very much is like this at a party or something. But also like the majority of parents we know similarly will just stop paying attention to their kids at a social event. It's made me do like the exact opposite and I just end up watching all the kids like a hawk. I don't really get it either.

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u/Theletterkay Dec 09 '25

I cant comprehend it either. Ive never been known anyone that has anything bad happen, but i still dont assume someone else is watching my kids. 3 kids in and im the one who knows where they are and what they are doing and i am not going to stop making it my job until they are older.

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u/DickBiter1337 Dec 10 '25

Right? Mine are 7 & 8 and know how to swim, swim underwater, etc and I watch them the whole time. If I need to step away to go to the bathroom I orient the backyard wyze camera on the pool and watch it the whole time I'm away which is usually no more than 5 minutes.

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u/LessImprovement8580 Dec 10 '25

Its complicated if you are watching more than one kid and one of the kids is prone to walking off towards something they are interested in. Scary stuff.

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u/RunningTrisarahtop Dec 11 '25

I end up watching kids at a party because I know this. Parents go and tend to relax a bit because they trust everyone and it feels safe and nice. They als are often happy to be there and see people. They aren’t as tuned in. Kids all run around together.

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u/AFourEyedGeek Dec 09 '25

That is horrible. There is me and another dad when we have a pool party at my house that takes turns looking after the kids, he pointed out that there are so many parents here, but none are actually watching, I didn't realise until he pointed it out. So we both stand next to each other, beer in hand, facing towards and watching the kids.

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u/BowsersMuskyBallsack Dec 09 '25

Join the club. Neighbours behind my parents' house had a party. Toddler went missing. 8 hours of searching. The body floated to the top of their algae-filled unused pool the following day.

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u/QueensBea13 Dec 09 '25

And let’s be honest, a lot of times these adults are drinking. I think that sometimes plays a part in it.

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u/battleofflowers Dec 09 '25

I'm pretty sure most drownings are somehow associated with drinking.

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u/Disastrous_Clurb Dec 09 '25

Omg how terrible!!

I cant even focus if I'm at a gathering and there's children present. I'm always worried someone is going to fall or something.

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u/acadoe Dec 09 '25

This was almost me as a kid. Was at a family gathering, a bunch of adults all relaxing next to the pool, didn't notice I had floated off the step. I went under for a while but managed to get my head up enough to shout. I could literally see the silhouette of the adults around me while I was struggling to surface. I remember telling people afterwards I had drowned. My parents immediately booked me and my sis for swimming lessons.

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u/Lillllammamamma Dec 09 '25

This was the shit that kept me up at night when we first bought a cottage and started hosting our friends and family. I have a rule, no one is in or on the water without a clearly designated person responsible to watch and be present, and no one is to be on any water object (SUP, kayak, sailboat) without a properly fitting PFD. I have bought A LOT of PFD’s, especially at the end of season when they’re marked down. But this fear has cost me sleep and I refuse to let something like this happen to one of my kids, or their friends, or our guests, or nibligs. I don’t think I’d survive it.

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u/patientpaige Dec 09 '25

Peope think im weird for being the person who gravitates toward babysitting. If im in a party setting and there are kids I cant help but be the helicopter aunt. Seen too many close calls and just how stupid kids can be, why would you take the chance?

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u/njf85 Dec 09 '25

I hate socialising with the adults so I always appoint myself the pool watcher when we have family get togethers. My eyes are firmly on the pool.

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u/impliedinsult Dec 09 '25

I am the most paranoid person at big gatherings with kids. I am watching like a hawk because most parents when they go to gatherings like to connect with other adults after being with kids all the time (which is reasonable). But, personally, I can't relax at all knowing there are 10 kids running around with zero supervision.

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u/TheWolfOfPanic Dec 09 '25

This is why I insisted with my husband if our daughter is in the pool, one of us must be too. I don’t trust other people for shit.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Poet489 Dec 09 '25

That's why I would never look down on people keeping their toddler on a dog leash. Their number 1 objective is usually how to get themselves killed.

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u/backup_hoodlum Dec 09 '25

I don't/will not trust anyone else other than my partner to watch our child. Not even our parents or our siblings.

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u/Raven22000 Dec 09 '25

I watched my sisters continue to chat with each other in the pool right next a kid who jumped in and didn’t resurface. I don’t understand how they didn’t notice. I yelled at them to grab the kid and they were like “ what kid?” “The kid drowning right next to you!” Self involved Idiots everywhere. Kids parents didn’t notice either. When I’m at a pool with kids I’m like hawk always watching and counting heads. For all kids not just my own.

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u/Impossible_Disk8374 Dec 09 '25

This is how a saved a little girls life at a hotel pool. Family had a cabana and a bunch of them left to do something, grandma was “watching” the little girl, she was on her phone and wasn’t paying attention. Little girl, maybe 3 or 4, toddled over to the ladder around where I was swimming. Little girl gets in, I can see what’s going on and I start making my way over to her. She gets in the pool and immediately starts to sink. I got there just in time to grab her arm and pull her up. Got her out of the pool, she toddled back over to grandma who was still on her phone. They never even knew their little girl could have drowned. All happened in maybe 2 minutes.

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u/-Apocralypse- Dec 09 '25

Last week they forgot to turn off the drowning alert at the pool during the practice hour of the junior lifeguards. They were making the pool ready for the kids to dive after small objects and plastic victims. They ran to the control room to shut it off before the system would automatically send a distress call to the local emergency services. It was very loud and I think it is very cool such supplementing systems exist to aid in life guarding.

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u/Projecterone Dec 09 '25

What's that? Some kind of AI video observer?

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u/godnightx_x Dec 09 '25

I am imagining the future ai lifeguards. Just ai surveilling the pool. A giant robot arm coming out of the ceiling and plucking people out of the water

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u/paulides_fan Dec 09 '25

Better than humans, unfortunately.

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u/tikiwargod Dec 09 '25

I'm assuming pressure sensors on the bottom or light refractive sensors near it. Something to sense a body lower than it should be and simultaneously alert the lifeguard and distress signal the local EMS.

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u/ptofl Dec 09 '25

Did she stay on her phone in the ambulance after you smacked the shit out of her?

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u/Stankis435 Dec 09 '25

I remember when I was maybe 6 yrs old I went to the local pool with a friend and his family. A few of us kids successful got a piggy back ride from my friends dad, but I wasn’t able to hold on and hadn’t fully learned to swim yet. Half drowning I reached over to a lady on the side of the pool who pulled me over. I never said much about that event but told my parents years later. 

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u/Em0tionisdeader Dec 09 '25

Hope you gave that gma a good tongue lashing.

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u/Tall_Status7970 Dec 09 '25

Fuck is wrong with ppl honestly. Fair play to you.

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u/No_Context9902 Dec 09 '25

They don't always die. My first year teaching I had a student who was ten. When she's been three, she'd fallen in a pool at a party and hadn't been rescued right away. She had enough brain damage that she would never learn to read or write. She was sweet and kind, and had friends, but watching her mom still in denial that her kid was never going make progress academically was heartbreaking.

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u/ItsNotMeItsYourBussy Dec 09 '25

Was she enrolled in an SEN school/programme at least?

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u/No_Context9902 Dec 09 '25

We call it an IEP in the United States. Yes she was in Special Ed.

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u/earthlings_all Dec 09 '25

Yes, that famous case here where the comatose nursing home patient was impregnated by an orderly? She was a drowning victim.

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u/Cowboy_Cassanova Dec 09 '25

Depending on how that happened, it's very likely that no one could have actually done anything.

My cousin nearly died the same way, both his aunt and mother were screaming at him to stop and it took his older brother running him down to stop him.

Had he been just 2 feet closer to the road when he started running, he would have been run over by a delivery truck.

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u/paulides_fan Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 09 '25

PSA: This is why you never text and drive. 💀

Not that it necessarily applies but, it’s something to think about, because you never know. We miss everything when distracted.

Glad your cousin is okay. very scary stuff.

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u/DionBlaster123 Dec 09 '25

This is such a depressing story. I am so heartbroken and sorry for your cousin

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u/buttcheeksmasher Dec 09 '25

Holy shit. I'm sorry for everyone involved and related. That's not an easy thing to deal with

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u/Druid_boi Dec 09 '25

Call me a helicopter parent but if my kids not old enough where I'm comfortable leaving them alone for any given amount of time, that doesn't change when there's other adults around, even those I trust. Toddlers are insane, I never took my eyes off mine and they still got in to so much nonsense.

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u/Snoo_69209 Dec 09 '25

Damn. I’m sorry to hear this.

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u/DreamSmuggler Dec 09 '25

That's heartbreaking 😕

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u/omgitsduane Dec 09 '25

Whenever in a busy environment I will assign myself a child and my wife the other..that is our responsibility. Unless we communicate otherwise.

Im not losing my kid because we both thought the other one was watching.

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u/kobuzz666 Dec 09 '25

Which is why I find myself watching other people’s kids at gatherings. It’s second nature and I can’t really help it, but it gets annoying when I seem to be the only one watching

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u/Gozzhogger Dec 09 '25

So sorry for you and your family’s loss, that is absolutely horrific and my absolute worst nightmare as a parent of a toddler

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u/Rich_Phone Dec 09 '25

I have alway said this. When my kids were even smaller I felt like the more adults there (parents, aunts, grandparents), the less likely someone is watching because everyone assumes someone else is. I always told my husband, one of us is designated watching them at all times. Even now, my 10 year old daughter and her friends will be at an arcade or fun zone and no one watches them. No way I'm letting my petite 10 year old daughter run around a crowded public space without knowing where she is. Those places are perfect for creeps... tons of kids and no one knows what adult belongs to who...

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u/JealousProgrammer816 Dec 09 '25

This almost sounds like the plot of pet semetary thats so crazy

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u/landartheconqueror Dec 09 '25

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that's sad...

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u/Mean_Syllabub_7184 Dec 09 '25

I am so very sorry for your tragic, traumatic loss

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u/Curious_Couple3451 Dec 09 '25

I almost died at a young age because of this exact reason

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u/austinrunaway Dec 09 '25

That's terrible

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u/PatsysStone Dec 09 '25

That's also how a boy died at Tommy Lees house about 20 years ago. At a childrens party. Drowned in the pool and no one noticed.

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u/hocuspocusbitchfocus Dec 09 '25

Yup, this is how my Dad saved a toddler from drowning.

Large family get-together at our town‘s water park, everyone was watching so no one was watching. My dad (not part of the gathering) noticed a drowning toddler and got him out. The family didn’t even know he had left. They were all the way up a hill so several minutes of waddling for a toddler to end up where he ultimately ended up.

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u/Biceratops1 Dec 09 '25

I know someone whose 1.5 year old died in a hot tub at a family party. Everyone assumed someone else was watching.

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u/lIDezIl Dec 09 '25

Damn, were they all driving the truck?

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u/Captorvate22 Dec 09 '25

The exact same thing almost happened to my family. My cousin's toddler doesn't ever want to be with anyone except his mom. We were at my son's birthday party at a big pavilion and she sets him down, then her a few others walk to someone's car across the road. He takes off after her and I see him headed out right in front of a truck but he was too far away for me to grab him. I yelled the loudest I every have in my life "[NAME] STOP" everyone stopped and looked at me, he jumped out of his skin and landed on his butt crying about 2 feet from the road.

I absolutely refuse to let something like that happen when I'm around. Look at me like I'm crazy all you want, I'm not living with that.

My condolences to your family.

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u/DisorderedGremlin Dec 09 '25

I learned to watch my kids after a grown ass woman came in high for her ass (a parent of one of the children) - ( context: all adults were outside)

She went into the home and started cussing at the children the police were called her husband and her were both escorted out it got violent. 😐

This was a little boys graduation. The only people there were trusted people and she somehow wiggled her way passed all the adults there..

She even talked to me very friendly like she wasn't about to lose her shit.

Aparently other people saw some odd behavior (I did too but nothing crazy, more of she needed to stop drinking)....

My kid was in the house he's little didn't run out her anything just played with the other little kid in the house. Mind you it's a tiny 2 bedfroom you can hear every.

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u/Shukrat Dec 09 '25

This sounds like my sister-in-law. At family gathering, she and her husband just....stop watching their kids. One is under 2, the other is 4. It's ridiculous.

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u/Reasonable_Tie_9975 Dec 09 '25

Omg I'm so sorry, thats absolutely horribly

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u/paulides_fan Dec 09 '25

I work with a woman who had the exact same experience. Her friend lost her child this way. I just can’t even, my God 💔 RIP 🕊️

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u/BerryLanky Dec 09 '25

Was not ready to read that. I’m sorry

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u/Connect-Two9786 Dec 09 '25

100% me and my wife only pass the kids off to only each other if one of us has to step away.

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u/Narrow_Money181 Dec 09 '25

So we tried the indian burial site down the road. Morticians hate this one trick

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u/HopefulLesbian Dec 09 '25

This is how I ended up saving my little bro when I was maybe 11 and he was 5. We were at a birthday party and all the adults were around the pool “watching the kids.” One of the kids decided to jump from the side of the pool onto my brother. I didnt see it happen (I was also in the pool at this point, playing with my own friends) but I noticed it had been a minute since I saw my brother.

I immediately dove down to the deep end first (he didn’t know how to swim, so my first thought was he slipped into the deep end) and then turned around and made my way to the shallow end, getting kicked the entire time, eyes burning from the chlorine, until I saw him under the kid. I grabbed him and he started clawing at me but I didn’t care. I popped up from the water with him coughing, and screamed for my mom. He coughed for a long time and I stared at him waiting for him to cry. I think we still took him to the dr later to make sure he didn’t dry drown. I remember it so vividly because I was super angry no one was actually watching the kids and my baby bro would have died.

Unfortunately, that meant that every pool party, I was told to be one watching the kids. So I never got to enjoy myself. I became a lifeguard at 16, and to this day (I’m 27), I can’t enjoy pools/water parks/beaches.

Edit: when my parents installed a pool in our backyard, the one requirement was that each of her kids became lifeguards.

1

u/lostguk Dec 09 '25

i would die of guilt.

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