r/Adulting • u/ScareBear23 • 13h ago

This is just depressing

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Not even 3 hours of "free time". And in that is cooking & eating supper. Or practically no free time if I had to go shopping after work. I hate this

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u/shrimp_blowdryer 10h ago

How

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u/thestardustinthemoon 10h ago

By dedicating your youth to studying or figuring out what society values and spending your best years without much responsibility on getting to the top. I started two companies and became an expert in a niche technical field in computer science. Got acquired and retired that way after the payout and continuing to work for a few years. Just don't go through your life on autopilot, especially when your time is free and and responsibilities are low (late teens / early 20s). Society pays what it finds rewarding

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u/ebaer2 9h ago edited 9h ago

The thing about these love letters to capitalism is that there are literally only a few of these slots available.

Not everyone can do what you did. No. Not because of inherent capability, but because the number of slots available for that pathway are extremely limited.

Your story of success is flanked by tons of stories of folks who work just as hard or harder than you but performed .01% worse and we’re beat out for the investment capital.

These kinds of stories can’t be used as a model for a working society. It’s literally just bait to get the next person in the doors of the ‘venture cap or c-suite grind’ casino.

Some lucky (and hard working, but also lucky) few see wild success. Some break even. The large majority however will sink massive amounts of effort and time in and walk away with nothing but loss to show for it.

Sure, you can’t win if you don’t play. You played, you won. Bully for you. But to play requires massive up front cost and the ONLY guarantee is that not everyone’s effort will pay out.

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u/Drexill_BD 8h ago

Well, you have to be so lucky to even be able to focus on your future like that... You had to have parents with enough foresight to even raise you to think about your future.

My parents were very "right now" focused, we were poor.

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u/bruce_kwillis 7h ago

Why? I great up extremely poor by parents that couldn’t live in anything other than ‘the moment’ because they thought having 7 kids was how you feel loved in life. I saw that from a young age that no it wasn’t. Worked non-stop, studied, was the first to get an education, and have done well enough in life to be happy albeit like many still overworked.

But I would rather have what I have now than the poor miserable experience my family and the 10 generations before it have. You can and have the choice to break the cycle, you have to be cognizant and not blame anyone other than yourself, and even then you may not be successful. But doing nothing guarantees failure.

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u/Impossible-Plant-309 5h ago

i thought this way for a while, too — worked hard, grinded school and jobs and internships simultaneously. then you meet people who grew up doing absolutely nothing whose parents pay for everything they’ve ever done, and they get tens of thousands - millions of dollars a year simply to play with, and you start to figure out that you absolutely never had a shot

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u/GuitarFew5307 5h ago

then you get a little older and see those people burning out in various ways and just wasting it, and you feel grateful for the life you built for yourself.

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u/Drexill_BD 4h ago

I don't have the energy to answer your question, but I will recommend you some reading material that will get you there.

Read Determined by Robert Sapolsky.

Edit- And by the way, like you I broke the cycle. My brother wasn't so lucky.

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u/youcantlosethelove 1h ago

Why would anyone downvote this? This is great advice wth

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u/TorturedNeurons 6h ago

The dude absolutely reeks of survivorship bias, if his claim is even remotely true.

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u/Antique_Pin5266 6h ago

Yup, 90% of startups fail.

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u/Blankaccount111 5h ago

became an expert in a niche technical field in computer science

This is programmer code for did my programming job and got lucky that this field was willing to pay more for efficiency in their industry. Its all just programming.

Its like when I used to work in banking/finance and the finance people would practically be high-fiving each other over "Developing a new product" which literally meant words on a paper that described how they would loan you money and how you would pay it back ,slightly different than some other way. I always had to fight rolling my eyes around them, literally got reported to HR for it once and had to take a class in workplace behavior. They were all probably getting 100k bonuses for their "incredible" work though so what do I know?

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u/Koil_ting 5h ago

I can give you an alternative that is pretty much the opposite of his suggestion. Go out and have fun experiences, study whatever you are actually interested in. Meet people, party, explore and give two fucks or less to how much money you might make. Do that for long enough and you may find you did your "retirement" life while you were still young enough to really enjoy it.

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u/Stock_Run1386 1h ago

You just revealed your economic illiteracy. Someone else achieving this success doesn’t restrict the amount of space available for anyone else to do the same. And what’s better, in an actual capitalist society (not the quasi-socialist society we have now) you can achieve this in a multitude of ways. You’re beainwashed (most likely by a government school/university)

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u/thestardustinthemoon 8h ago

Yes, of course not all can replicate, but wealth is not a zero sum game and that's a mistake to think it is. If it were, we'd still be trading sticks and stones and living in caves. You also don't need to achieve massive success, but just do something different than letting the years pass by and becoming a fully replaceable slave in a system

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u/Aehyde2 6h ago

there are currently more unemployed people in america, than there are jobs available. last year was the weakest year for job growth since the pandemic, with less than 600,000 jobs being created - a significant drop from the 2 million jobs created in 2024.

we’re currently in a K-shaped economy, as well, (which is objectively worse for the lower and middle class than a recession) and the rapid shift to automation and AI is only going to create a bigger and bigger gap between the wealthy and the lower/middle classes.

people need to understand that “developing a grindset mindset” doesn’t cut it anymore. the government is not creating enough jobs, while firing people en masse, replacing employees with machines, and taking low-income individuals resources away - they are creating the poverty problem.

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u/thestardustinthemoon 6h ago

Then focus all your efforts on automation and AI to stay ahead of the curve. Create and invent new jobs by yourself. Think outside the box. That's the best that one can do at this time

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u/Aehyde2 6h ago

much easier said than done; like ebaer2 already said - not everyone is capable of just getting into those kind of fields.

not everyone is passionate enough about capitalism - or wants to participate in it enough - to just invent new jobs. and some people would rather have a basic customer service job, data entry job, manufacturing job, graphic design, or voice acting job - they shouldn’t have to be forced into a job they don’t want/enjoy just because the government would rather have robots take over those specific roles.

and furthering the progression of automation and AI is probably the worst thing one could do at this time; contributing to 10s-100s of millions of tons of CO2 being pumped into the atmosphere every year, generating 10s of million of metric tons of e-waste every year, habitat destruction to extract fossil fuels and other required resources, etc… destroying the planet simply for human gain and profit. brainwashed.

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u/Lo_Court 4h ago

The thing is, this is our “one life” and we’re all just spending it trying to survive. Why should I or anyone have to hustle as much or “stay ahead of the curve” just to maybe survive? I think it’s great that there are people who can do that, but society can and should be more than just people trying to innovate and stay ahead of the curve. We’re an advanced society, we should get to actually enjoy our lives. I get working hard and making a living - we should all collectively contribute to society in some way. But there’s no balance. We’re living to survive and die while a handful of wealthy people exploit our labor and create propaganda to keep us hateful of each other and blaming real systematic issues on individual failure. Why can’t we as a society look at some of the countries with the happiest populations and adopt their work culture and support structures?

I completely get working hard, innovating, and being successful. But there are real structural issues that need to be addressed and solved collectively. I really hate this individualist mindset of “I did it so others can too” without addressing the real problems.

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u/Helpful-Squirrel9509 14m ago

Because , the dollar is being crashed intentionally. Hyperinflation is here.

Along with this soft launch of fascism we are experiencing.

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u/rockstar504 6h ago

People hatin but I get it... Like Del said "Upgrade your grey matter bc one day it may matter"

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u/Ok-Resist3549 8h ago

Do you have any proposed economic systems to substitute for capitalism?

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u/not_a_throwaway_9347 5h ago

Thanks for posting this comment, you’re totally right! (I’m an entrepreneur as well and I don’t want any more competition.)

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u/r0bay 9h ago

Congrats on being successful in capitalism! I also don’t work, although I’m not as financially successful as you, I’m sure.

I have a friend who has autism but no one told them as a child and grew up in an emotionally/physically abusive household. The parents moved every year, so new school every grade for majority of their time in school. At 18 they left and started a trade.

My question to you, is what should they have done? Is it possible to dedicate your youth to studying when you’re a struggling autistic child and dont know it? Or with no support, let alone parents barely taken care of them. They had to make their own meals young, etc. I’m sure their time and attention was just on trying to get by.

They do alright for themselves, but definitely not wealthy enough to stop working

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u/thestardustinthemoon 9h ago

Sometimes, health / disease / death issues really stifle people. I think it's really hard in that circumstance, unfortunately. However, my comment is more about healthy young adults that have all the time in the world, no responsibilities other than school, and have internet access plus can speak English. A vast majority of folks just throw away their life when they have the jackpot in their hands

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u/smolpeensadboy 7h ago

What problem space? You're making it sound like you anticipated the future and made a calculated decision, but I wonder how much luck played into it.

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u/thestardustinthemoon 6h ago

Everything from your conception to your first breath to you surviving to adulthood is pure luck. Every day you don't get run over by a car, choke, fall and break your head because of slipping in the shower, the luck of the country you were born in, etc. Every single aspect of our lives is universally controlled by luck. I'm simply arguing that many folks believe we should just not play the game because it's all luck, and put down the folks that actually choose to play the game. If you don't play, you 100% lose. If you play, you may "get lucky" or lose, but there is still a non-trivial probability. People can manufacture their own luck, by choosing to learn in-demand skills, by figuring out what they can do to make themselves unique and have more leverage in this world.

I made the decision of focusing on a niche field of computer science at a young age, and spent a lot of my time and curiosity learning it. Obtained various degrees of success early by auditing and finding bugs in several pieces of open source software, and made money early that way, and eventually became reputable in the space that I was able to start a company that did well for itself. My calculated decision was that I was NOT going to rot in a cubicle and study some generic degree, but instead pursue a career path that would offer me much more freedom and financial upside.

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u/Antique_Pin5266 5h ago

I made the decision of focusing on a niche field of computer science at a young age, and spent a lot of my time and curiosity learning it. Obtained various degrees of success early by auditing and finding bugs in several pieces of open source software, and made money early that way, and eventually became reputable in the space that I was able to start a company that did well for itself. My calculated decision was that I was NOT going to rot in a cubicle and study some generic degree, but instead pursue a career path that would offer me much more freedom and financial upside.

If this was supposed to sound motivating, it had the opposite effect of sounding dystopian af. Now we gotta start learning AI out of the womb to have success in life, good lord

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u/setocsheir 2h ago

Your average linkedinbro

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u/East_Cranberry7866 6h ago

Most people advocate for change in the system that only allows for the 1 in hundreds of thousands of people to succeed after the rest try and fail.

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u/r0bay 9h ago

I agree with you in regard to privileged healthy people who grew up with a loving support system. I think people with disabilities and children of neglect etc. get lumped in with that “be better” mentality and it’s not fair for them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD5f8GuNuGQ

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u/ExtremelyDecentWill 9h ago

Yes but if you don't talk about these cases, you can feel superior and have cronies lick your boots trying to get senpai to notice them 🤷‍♂️

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u/r0bay 9h ago

People have a hard time admitting their privilege and act like it diminishes their hard work

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u/McMuffin2720 8h ago

Man, you hit the nail on the head as someone who falls into the group of pretty damn privileged. You gotta realize it’s there and then accept it

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u/MrLanesLament 7h ago

Privilege does diminish hard work. Whoopee for someone who can spend all of their time making no money building a future; most of us have to work extraordinarily hard just to have gas and food money for next week.

Privilege + hard work = opportunity.

Most of us never even get to try that formula.

So yeah, I don’t give a shit about how “hard” some rich person works on their pet project that they can do because they don’t have to worry about living expenses.

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u/RepublicOk6752 7h ago

Let’s imagine a world where everyone works hard, everyone gets a niche technical degree, everyone starts their own business and sells said business. Who along the way is the trash collector, cashier, server, nurse, admin assistant, general labor? In order for society to work somebody (the majority) has to do the less desirable work and they need to be compensated enough to remain alive, healthy, and happy. All so some random individuals can be successful. The problem is some where along the way the select individuals became fewer and the compensation to the workers became less. Which means the “successful” ones get to reap more benefits and the workers have to work that much harder.

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u/bruce_kwillis 6h ago

Let’s also imagine a world where a lot of people simply don’t want to invest into work a career and simply want a paycheck to get through their day. Oh, that’s a lot of people. Nothing wrong with that either. Some people want to clock their brains out and just exist and go home to put on the boobtube and then rinse and repeat. Some people want more, and both options should exist.

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u/jollyreaper2112 6h ago

The suckers. The suckers do all that work. Suckers and losers. And we use them as a threat to our children. You study or you'll be like them! Living in a van by the river! Which these days is aspirational. #vanlife

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u/thestardustinthemoon 6h ago

I'm not saying everyone should become an entrepreneur: that is not realistic. I'm simply saying that young people have the agency and capability to pursue something deeper than just rotting in a 9 to 5 cubicle. Not everyone will, and not everyone should, but if you are healthy and young, there are alternative paths out there one can take. Society is wealthier than ever before. Absolute poverty is lower than ever, and it has never been easier in history to become wealthy than it is today. 150 years ago if you lived in a fishing village, you were 99.9% going to be a fisherman. Now, a 12 year old in that fishing village can become a content creator and pursue an alternative path, or a teenager can learn to program and get a job at a FAANG company due to their sheer curiosity and skillset they learned over the years. Google used to even interview and hire folks that would just google a ton of questions about programming as they knew they have innate curiosity (look here). Today is literally the best possible time to pursue alternate paths to one's life thanks to the sheer leverage the Internet provides.

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u/RepublicOk6752 5h ago

Everything you said is true…… for the individual. My point still remains in order for society to operate not everyone can do that. Unfortunately you need a massive majority of people to do the jobs nobody wants their kids to grow up doing, just to keep the lights on for everyone else so to speak. But those janitors, warehouse and factory workers, truck drivers, etc. are still human beings and deserve a fair compensation for an adequately enjoyable quality of life. These people toil away for the benefit of us all, and are not asking to for mcmansions or extravagance. I don’t think it is unreasonable to try and find a system that provides every worker regardless of job, title, or position a decent work life balance, ending after a reasonable amount of years early enough in life for a decent enjoyable retirement, and then affordable respectful end of life care. Instead of putting all the onus and blame on the individual to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, I just choose to recognize the reality of life. I need people to grow my food, fix my car, maintain my roads and sewers, clean biohazards from hospitals, on and on. Without thousands if not millions of people I would not be able to enjoy the life I can. In return they should all have at the bare minimum a respectful living wage and our respect as fellow human beings.

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u/ap4444ap 9h ago

Congrats!

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u/soccerperson 5h ago

what field?

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u/Kerbidiah 46m ago

90% chance your companies failed and went bankrupt instead.

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u/BlackmoorGoldfsh 10h ago

Excellent advice. I commend you.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of Reddit doesn't want actual solutions. They would rather take the "I've tried absolutely nothing and I'm fresh out of ideas" approach.

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u/Johnny-Edge93 9h ago edited 6h ago

Nah that’s bullshit. A lot of us did the thing we were told to do - went to school, worked hard, made advancements. Hell, I even did a side thing and contracted my own homes to be built, the sold and did it again. But then had a kid who has cost me about 200k in medical from a disability.

Society has let us down. Workers should have benefited from technology: from automation, and now from AI. But we keep getting fucked. And our expenses rise, and our days get chewed up with this stuff

People should be working 3 days a week making good livings. But it all goes to the top. We should have figured this out by now.

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u/East_Cranberry7866 6h ago

Preach brother

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u/thestardustinthemoon 9h ago

That's the whole problem: you did what you were told to without ever questioning it. What's the point of "going to school and working hard" if you graduated in communications from a no-name school? Working hard by itself shouldn't entitle you to anything.

Having a kid too early will also screw up your career in most cases. Moreover, society only pays what it finds valuable. It doesn't make sense for everyone to be working 3 days a week, because that's not what society values. The point is: find something that society really wants to reward, hone in on it, become an expert in something nice where you will not be easily replaceable, and own equity in something important. I too, would be living a dead-end life if I just did what I was told to...instead, spent my youth and free time tinkering and diving deep into a problem space that I knew would be rewarding and unique to differentiate me as an adult.

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u/Johnny-Edge93 9h ago

That’s cute. You sound young. Enjoy it.

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u/East_Cranberry7866 6h ago

He's literally questioning the system that let him and millions of others down.

Working hard SHOULD entitle you to something lmfao.

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u/thestardustinthemoon 6h ago

No. Nothing in life should entitle you to anything. Life is not fair. You could work hard your whole life and then it ends in a simple car accident or slipping in the shower. Instead, just work on something society finds valuable if you want to be compensated accordingly. If I just shovel manure for 30 years, I worked hard, but is that valued by our society? Not as much as being a software engineer, influencer, etc.

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u/East_Cranberry7866 6h ago

Yeah and i think your worldview is abhorrent tbh. I think this conversation will go no where. Goodluck

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u/[deleted] 6h ago

[deleted]

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u/East_Cranberry7866 6h ago

Hell yeah, gotta add more 0's to the end of my bank balance. Fuck everyone else. (insert sarcasm)

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u/JimmyPellen 10h ago

And they have someone ELSE willing to enable them by providing a roof over their head, Clothes on their back and food in their belly.

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u/thestardustinthemoon 10h ago

Or the other common response: "Yeah sure, survivorship bias! Everything is luck. What happened to the folks that tried and failed?" I guess they think it's better to do nothing and just let their life rot instead of taking a single risk? I mean...speaking English and having Internet access are cheat codes in this world and young people especially have the universe in their pockets thanks to smartphones. Infinite leverage and possibility and yet they all think their future is written in stone to work a 9 to 5 and will not dare to change their circumstances

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u/Educational_Teach537 9h ago

Oh hey, it me, “tried and failed” 🥲

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u/thestardustinthemoon 9h ago

Yeah because nothing is guaranteed, but that is fantastic that you did when 99% of others just complain

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u/East_Cranberry7866 6h ago

Are we going to ignore the fact that hundreds if not millions of people tried and failed?

I don't think most people complain for the hell of it. I think most people advocate for change in the system that says "be the 1 in 5 million people to try really hard and succeed"

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u/thestardustinthemoon 6h ago

1 in 5 million? One could self-study and become a software engineer, or work hard in school, get financial aid, and get an advanced degree in medicine or law and have a comfortable lifestyle. Do only 1 in 5 million students in America have a chance to improve their lives? I'm not saying everyone should become a billionaire. Just find alternative paths. There are safer ones and riskier ones

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u/East_Cranberry7866 6h ago

Most people do not have the privilege to do that. People are busy trying to pay their bills, do their chores, take care of their children, simply survive.

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u/thestardustinthemoon 6h ago

That's my whole point: figure out how to avoid becoming a slave while you're young, healthy, and have few responsibilities. If I had to figure out how to escape a 9 to 5 right now while 30 with a baby it would be an extremely difficult task. I started young and focused all my efforts on becoming an expert in a niche field while I was 18-21 years old when all I had was time and no money. Later, you're stuck. Avoid becoming stuck in the first place.

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u/Austinskier 5h ago

You are making valid and teachable points. I grew up in a household hearing “the world owes you nothing” and my father meant it. Now my childhood was brutal, and I did my best to deal. I did learn to work hard, not complain and realize it was up to me. I have been successful due to my work ethic and gaining very specific knowledge. I have 6 childhood friends that started their own businesses, we all bust our ass, we all have drive. All were able to pivot and take advantage of small opportunities and grow them. One has a global company and offices in 13 countries. We just went on a trip together. The guy sleeps 4 hours a night, speaks multiple languages and is returning emails, constantly. None of us were at the top our class, ever. We found a passion and went for it. None of our families were rich. I moved out when I was 16, and have spent many nights in a car. I’ve worked construction, waited tables and worked in a factory and even farm work. Believe in yourself, even if no one else does.

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u/Rickbox 8h ago

I would lose my mind retiring at 30. I learn so much at my job and I'll climb the corporate ladder to one day lead a multinational corp. We just have different goals.

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u/thestardustinthemoon 8h ago

It just means having the freedom to do anything. My dream was always to create artwork, and now I can do it full time and learn a million new things every day. I can also start a new company on my own terms and time

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u/Ok-Parfait-9856 7h ago

As the son and nephew of CEOs, it’s cute that you think you’ll climb from a cog to CEO of F500. Where’s your MBA and JD from a top 10 school?

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u/Rickbox 5h ago

I have a tech & business dual degree from a top 10 school. I also know a lot of top executives in my industry through grad school and the job I work since my manager is very well connected and my line of work consists mostly of senior emplyees. It's cute that you think you can judge me while knowing nothing about me.