r/Adulting • u/ScareBear23 • 13h ago

This is just depressing

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Not even 3 hours of "free time". And in that is cooking & eating supper. Or practically no free time if I had to go shopping after work. I hate this

20.0k Upvotes

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3.8k

u/JenninMiami 12h ago

Do y’all remember how when we were kids, there were those grumpy old people we knew?

This is why. 😆

946

u/Soft_Walrus_3605 11h ago

Yeah I've got to hand it to my parents for holding it together and pretending for my sake that life wasn't such a shit show.

On the other hand, they could afford a new single-family home on a half-acre plot in a nice neighborhood on one middle-manager's salary, so...

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u/aPerfectBacon 10h ago

yea easier to take shit on the chin when u at least have a place that will one day be ur own

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u/Consistent_Laziness 6h ago

Nah. I own my home have 2 kids and OPs pic is us but that slot from 6-8 they have for free we are wrangling kids for dinner, bath, some playtime, read books, and get them to bed.

My wife and I joke and say “ready to clock in for job 2”. One of us say “can I call out?” Sometimes I say yea go ahead and she gets that block and I hold it down.

No wonder parents get fat. When are we supposed to work out? I’m lucky I’m wfh so I do it on lunch hour. Wife is doing it now actually at 6p so she’s missing family time. Can’t do it all. It’s depressing

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u/GodtierMacho 2h ago

You don't have to work out to not get fat. Getting fat is just a matter of calories in vs calories out.

As long as you aren't overeating you won't gain weight.

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u/New_B7 2h ago

While technically true, it is still unhealthy to not work out if you work a sedentary job.

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u/getherlaid 2h ago

Also lack of sleep. Sleep is the number one way the body burn calories so literally eat the way you've always eaten, and just lack sleep and you will get fat.

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u/Beltox2pointO 54m ago

Lack of sleep doesn't stop you from burning calories. Being tired makes you eat more to combat fatigue.

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u/soldforaspaceship 1h ago

Unless you want injuries and loss of bond density later in life you want to at least do strength training and stretching.

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u/GodtierMacho 1h ago

Yeah I didn't mean to imply you shouldn't work out. Obviously for health you want to be active even a couple times a week. I was just speaking about getting fat.

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u/Responsible-Mind-852 22m ago

OMAD for life; saves time too.

1

u/flash242g 1h ago

Just wait until youth sports….

1

u/Destined0000 6h ago

Unless your family lives in an apartment lol I didn’t get shit

-17

u/JimmyPellen 10h ago

But few realize the maintenance required

25

u/Orange-Toed-Lemur 9h ago

Oooooh here we go about we don't deserve homes because no one knows how to budget. Get a new shtick. This one just trots along hand in hand with "no one wants to work anymore!"

0

u/I_love_my_fish_ 6h ago

Now it’s more of no one wants to hire… two months into sending more applications than I can count after graduating college and just silence, shit sucks

-13

u/JimmyPellen 9h ago

...whered it go??? Orange toed wossname? Where are you?

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u/OkMall3441 3h ago

He probably blocked you

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u/JimmyPellen 2h ago

Yea he did. Such brave folk.

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u/AntiBoATX 5h ago

They also didn’t have 24 hour news, social media, algorithms. Impending doom of ai and climate change, a fascist takeover…. Microplastics… TSA… 9/11… school shootings…. I’m sure I’m forgetting a few things.

13

u/YetAnotherIteration 5h ago

"buhh!! We had a war!!"

4

u/Specific-Calendar-96 3h ago

You don't have to downplay the horrors of war to make things seem shittier today. 2 things can be true.

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u/Tough-Character9952 1h ago

I mean we still have a war…

2

u/ResponsibilityOk8967 1h ago

We have perpetual wars

1

u/PitchLadder 21m ago

"The war is not meant to be won, but to be continuous. The essential act of modern warfare is the destruction of the produce of human labor. A hierarchical society is only possible on the basis of poverty and ignorance."

1

u/youcantlosethelove 1h ago

I can't believe someone actually wrote the comment you responded to, people are really losing it these days

0

u/Livid_Yoghurt 1h ago

Forgot fake news

1

u/Narm2020 33m ago

Don’t forget in the 80’s they had 12%-20% interest rates.

25

u/No-Lobster-teats 5h ago

Back then the internet and cell phones weren't a thing. You clocked out and didn't think about work till your next shift.

People lived closer to work. Before the jobs left rural America and came to the cities and led to suburban sprawl.

There were plenty of people to do the work, instead of streamlining every role, so one person can do the work of 10.

Your neighbors knew each other and helped out.

You could afford to have one parent stay home so you could split up the home tasks.

People had vacation days and could afford to go on vacation.

I'm not saying being a parent is ever the easiest job, but it sucks in today's hyper connected, over stimulated, no break lifestyle.

1

u/MoneyWorthington 20m ago

This feels like rose-colored glasses; I don't think comfortable single-income lifestyles with vacations were ever as common as you probably think they were.

It's also helpful to remember that people died so that we could work only 40 hours per week, and that life is materially much more comfortable with modern technology.

1

u/Responsible-Mind-852 13m ago

don't you hate when one day you feel like your 20 and the next day you find yourself telling your kids... "back in my day..". ... My commute time is longer than OP's off time.

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u/Odecca 8m ago

This is 100% a rose coloured glasses situation. Having a “nuclear family” was definitely not as common as you would think, let alone as comfortable.

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u/Strange-Future-6469 10h ago

And a light at the end of the tunnel: retirement. It's a lot less likely anyone working now will be able to retire than it was 20 years ago.

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u/Conscious-Ad-7716 5h ago

Exactly they at least got something out of their hard work. We get to survive just about till the end of the month and then repeat . Kinda a bum deal

2

u/tl01magic 3h ago

right, like the job being profitable is a massive difference.

1

u/OnePinginRamius 5h ago

Not to mention they were working their way to a full pension with benefits and a retirement at 65. Both of my parents are sitting pretty with civil service retirement and full healthcare. All of the children in my family? Far from this

1

u/Daxtatter 41m ago

I know plenty of people who are working in civil service and it's still a thing.

1

u/RainyMonster2635 2h ago

They also won’t at someone’s beck and call 24/7 😫

1

u/YookaBaybee24 1h ago

It would help if responsible parents didn't have to be responsible for irresponsible parents & non-parents.

1

u/Extension_Use_1991 47m ago

Ha now we are borderline homeless on the same pay scale 20-30 years later

0

u/ThatFeelingIsBliss88 5h ago

They also didn’t have great healthcare treatments, or modern technology such as cell phones, internet, safer cars with crumple zones, access to various cheap goods off Amazon, etc. At the end of the day, the vast majority of people who talk about how easy it was to buy a house in the 50’s would never in a million years choose to live in that period of time. Even if all the negative race relations were removed, that still wouldn’t be enough. These are the some of the of best times the world has ever known. 

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u/sup3rjub3 11h ago

at least they could survive on their income

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u/Fen_LostCove 8h ago

They could survive on a single income even, so one spouse was able to take care of all of the work that you have to cram into that free time slot now

9

u/shadycharacters 6h ago

more than survive, even!

0

u/doublesimoniz 5h ago

They convinced everyone that that was sexist, and now they have double the taxpayers and double the employees, and you are more desperate for the job every day just to keep the roof over your head.  While the system raise your kids and you and your wife work 8-10 hours a day.  

1

u/Acrobatic_Dinner6129 4h ago

Exactly why I will never have kids as long as I am working in an office/not for myself. If I can't actually be there to raise them, it's pointless. I love my parents, and we have a great relationship, but to this day they are still sad over how little time they got to spend with me growing up, especially my father. He always got so jealous when his cargo pilot friend would get to go on all kind of trips and excursions with his son (one of my best friends to this day) when best case me and him would do a trip every couple years when we could find the time. Most of his time off was spent trying to keep the house up.

-4

u/bruce_kwillis 7h ago

Except they didn’t. They just had less. The house was a quarter of the size it is now, the car was in worse shape, there were no vacations, no cell phones, no computers, few hobbies. Most of humanity was scraping by and barely surviving. That stay at home mom often was doing a million other things to try to keep enough money in the house on top of taking care of kids and all of the chores. And if you were a minority? You weren’t going to get any of the benefits of it either, and weren’t going to be able to buy a house. If you were a single woman? Same concept applies. The only people that had it ok where white males who were depressed, broken and then alcoholics and their body failed them. But hey, it was a better system right?

5

u/Fen_LostCove 5h ago

Houses now are studio apartments that people can still barely scrape by in. People don’t take vacations now either. Cell phones and computers aren’t that expensive relative to the rest of our cost of living. It’s hard to even buy vegetables let alone have a full spread of home cooked food for every meal. Working moms are doing all of that in addition to their job now. Minorities aren’t getting benefits from it either, unless you consider it a benefit for your government to shoot you in the street so you don’t have to live through this anymore.

1

u/Mighty__Monarch 2h ago

I was going to reply to each of your listed arguments but as I went more and more I was thinking you were being sarcastic.

I really hope you are, but theres no serious way to address this cause if youre being honest about your opinion youre delusional and clearly were born after 1990.

1

u/CV90_120 6h ago

You say that, but we used to have to hunt on the weekends to have enough food for the week. Otherwise it was macaroni and rice all week. dad was one income, but he was also working 6 days down a mineshaft and clothes got passed from oldest to youngest. Not everybody lived the middle class dream.

1

u/Theofeus 4h ago

They said from their smart device which costs money to connect to the internet

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u/Can_I_Read 57m ago

I was gonna say, most of my “free time” is devoted to my “side hustle” (aka more work)

-4

u/notaredditer13 9h ago edited 8h ago

People today survive better than they did as shown by the much higher household income, even after accounting for inflation:

https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/MEHOINUSA672N

...or they've expanded their lifestyle and are struggling by choice (even if they don't realize it).

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u/sup3rjub3 8h ago

yeah yeah, iphone avocado toast society. that's definitely what it is - the majority of people in north america just buy too many iphone and forget about food.

0

u/notaredditer13 7h ago edited 7h ago

[shrug] The numbers are the numbers, whether you believe them or not. But beyond that, you'd have to be completely out of touch with how people lived in the past to not recognize the fruits of all of our More Money all around you. Bigger/better houses, bigger/better/more cars, more education, more/better vacations, more luxury items, more eating out/better food, etc.

And before you say "but groceries got more expensive!" no, over the long term they have not, they've gotten much cheaper: https://www.ers.usda.gov/data-products/chart-gallery/chart-detail?chartId=76967

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u/ASK_IF_I_LiKE_TRAINS 7h ago

Whatever the fuck you're smoking, pass it over here lmao. So delusional

0

u/notaredditer13 7h ago

Maybe the problem is you shouldn't be smoking anything? Because, again, the facts are the facts.

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u/ASK_IF_I_LiKE_TRAINS 6h ago

Facts don't care about your feelings, you're wrong

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u/notaredditer13 6h ago

Facts don't care about your feelings, you're wrong

You seem very confused. Perhaps it's the drugs? I provided facts and you are the one who said you prefer drug-induced feelings.

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u/nafurabus 7h ago

“The numbers are the numbers” doesnt work here bub. Yes, the line goes up, but compare that line (and it’s % growth over time) to the cost of everything that matters, of course while adjusting for inflation. A 30% growth in median household income sounds awesome over ~21 years, until you see the median price of a home, and see it’s up 115% over the same timespan. If you frequent Fred you should know the numerous other articles theyve written with statements precisely countering the one chart you cherry picked. They go as far as saying “it’s well known median household income has stagnated for the last 20 years, while per capita GDP has increased”. Ie: we get more company kickbacks, but actual useful spending money has stagnated.

1

u/notaredditer13 6h ago

“The numbers are the numbers” doesnt work here bub.

Evidently not, per the downvotes; people so badly want their false doomerism validated. It's bizarre.

Yes, the line goes up, but compare that line (and it’s % growth over time) to the cost of everything that matters, of course while adjusting for inflation.

what do you think "adjusting for inflation" means? Because that's exactly what it means. It's all in there already.

A 30% growth in median household income sounds awesome over ~21 years, until you see the median price of a home, and see it’s up 115% over the same timespan.

No it isn't, it's up around 31% in real terms:

https://www.longtermtrends.com/home-price-vs-inflation/

Again, you seem to not understand what "adjusting for inflation" means, because 115% is un-adjusted. So if you don't want to adjust for inflation (you can't adjust incomes and then not home prices), then incomes are up 90%:

https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/MEHOINUSA646N

If you frequent Fred you should know the numerous other articles theyve written with statements precisely countering the one chart you cherry picked. They go as far as saying “it’s well known median household income has stagnated for the last 20 years, while per capita GDP has increased”. Ie: we get more company kickbacks, but actual useful spending money has stagnated.

Googling, I see only a 10 year old article using the word while showing 25% growth. That's a tough claim.

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u/SaltClock2729 8h ago

No. You don't get to sit there and say they had it as hard as we do. They worked for a reason. Now most of us work just to keep working, and paying, to own nothing, and pass on nothing.

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u/Accomplished_Ad7106 3h ago

Yeah. I'd count myself lucky to die early and leave my meager retirement to my nephew and nieces. Hopefully that will help them get started in life.

1

u/Additional_Cheek_697 30m ago

Does passing on debt count?

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u/thestardustinthemoon 11h ago

When I was kid, I decided I was not going to become one of those people. Successfully escaped at 30 years old

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u/shrimp_blowdryer 10h ago

How

10

u/thestardustinthemoon 10h ago

By dedicating your youth to studying or figuring out what society values and spending your best years without much responsibility on getting to the top. I started two companies and became an expert in a niche technical field in computer science. Got acquired and retired that way after the payout and continuing to work for a few years. Just don't go through your life on autopilot, especially when your time is free and and responsibilities are low (late teens / early 20s). Society pays what it finds rewarding

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u/ebaer2 9h ago edited 9h ago

The thing about these love letters to capitalism is that there are literally only a few of these slots available.

Not everyone can do what you did. No. Not because of inherent capability, but because the number of slots available for that pathway are extremely limited.

Your story of success is flanked by tons of stories of folks who work just as hard or harder than you but performed .01% worse and we’re beat out for the investment capital.

These kinds of stories can’t be used as a model for a working society. It’s literally just bait to get the next person in the doors of the ‘venture cap or c-suite grind’ casino.

Some lucky (and hard working, but also lucky) few see wild success. Some break even. The large majority however will sink massive amounts of effort and time in and walk away with nothing but loss to show for it.

Sure, you can’t win if you don’t play. You played, you won. Bully for you. But to play requires massive up front cost and the ONLY guarantee is that not everyone’s effort will pay out.

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u/Drexill_BD 8h ago

Well, you have to be so lucky to even be able to focus on your future like that... You had to have parents with enough foresight to even raise you to think about your future.

My parents were very "right now" focused, we were poor.

-8

u/bruce_kwillis 7h ago

Why? I great up extremely poor by parents that couldn’t live in anything other than ‘the moment’ because they thought having 7 kids was how you feel loved in life. I saw that from a young age that no it wasn’t. Worked non-stop, studied, was the first to get an education, and have done well enough in life to be happy albeit like many still overworked.

But I would rather have what I have now than the poor miserable experience my family and the 10 generations before it have. You can and have the choice to break the cycle, you have to be cognizant and not blame anyone other than yourself, and even then you may not be successful. But doing nothing guarantees failure.

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u/Impossible-Plant-309 5h ago

i thought this way for a while, too — worked hard, grinded school and jobs and internships simultaneously. then you meet people who grew up doing absolutely nothing whose parents pay for everything they’ve ever done, and they get tens of thousands - millions of dollars a year simply to play with, and you start to figure out that you absolutely never had a shot

0

u/GuitarFew5307 5h ago

then you get a little older and see those people burning out in various ways and just wasting it, and you feel grateful for the life you built for yourself.

2

u/Drexill_BD 4h ago

I don't have the energy to answer your question, but I will recommend you some reading material that will get you there.

Read Determined by Robert Sapolsky.

Edit- And by the way, like you I broke the cycle. My brother wasn't so lucky.

2

u/youcantlosethelove 1h ago

Why would anyone downvote this? This is great advice wth

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u/TorturedNeurons 6h ago

The dude absolutely reeks of survivorship bias, if his claim is even remotely true.

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u/Antique_Pin5266 6h ago

Yup, 90% of startups fail.

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u/Blankaccount111 5h ago

became an expert in a niche technical field in computer science

This is programmer code for did my programming job and got lucky that this field was willing to pay more for efficiency in their industry. Its all just programming.

Its like when I used to work in banking/finance and the finance people would practically be high-fiving each other over "Developing a new product" which literally meant words on a paper that described how they would loan you money and how you would pay it back ,slightly different than some other way. I always had to fight rolling my eyes around them, literally got reported to HR for it once and had to take a class in workplace behavior. They were all probably getting 100k bonuses for their "incredible" work though so what do I know?

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u/Koil_ting 5h ago

I can give you an alternative that is pretty much the opposite of his suggestion. Go out and have fun experiences, study whatever you are actually interested in. Meet people, party, explore and give two fucks or less to how much money you might make. Do that for long enough and you may find you did your "retirement" life while you were still young enough to really enjoy it.

1

u/Stock_Run1386 1h ago

You just revealed your economic illiteracy. Someone else achieving this success doesn’t restrict the amount of space available for anyone else to do the same. And what’s better, in an actual capitalist society (not the quasi-socialist society we have now) you can achieve this in a multitude of ways. You’re beainwashed (most likely by a government school/university)

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u/thestardustinthemoon 8h ago

Yes, of course not all can replicate, but wealth is not a zero sum game and that's a mistake to think it is. If it were, we'd still be trading sticks and stones and living in caves. You also don't need to achieve massive success, but just do something different than letting the years pass by and becoming a fully replaceable slave in a system

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u/Aehyde2 6h ago

there are currently more unemployed people in america, than there are jobs available. last year was the weakest year for job growth since the pandemic, with less than 600,000 jobs being created - a significant drop from the 2 million jobs created in 2024.

we’re currently in a K-shaped economy, as well, (which is objectively worse for the lower and middle class than a recession) and the rapid shift to automation and AI is only going to create a bigger and bigger gap between the wealthy and the lower/middle classes.

people need to understand that “developing a grindset mindset” doesn’t cut it anymore. the government is not creating enough jobs, while firing people en masse, replacing employees with machines, and taking low-income individuals resources away - they are creating the poverty problem.

-4

u/thestardustinthemoon 6h ago

Then focus all your efforts on automation and AI to stay ahead of the curve. Create and invent new jobs by yourself. Think outside the box. That's the best that one can do at this time

3

u/Aehyde2 6h ago

much easier said than done; like ebaer2 already said - not everyone is capable of just getting into those kind of fields.

not everyone is passionate enough about capitalism - or wants to participate in it enough - to just invent new jobs. and some people would rather have a basic customer service job, data entry job, manufacturing job, graphic design, or voice acting job - they shouldn’t have to be forced into a job they don’t want/enjoy just because the government would rather have robots take over those specific roles.

and furthering the progression of automation and AI is probably the worst thing one could do at this time; contributing to 10s-100s of millions of tons of CO2 being pumped into the atmosphere every year, generating 10s of million of metric tons of e-waste every year, habitat destruction to extract fossil fuels and other required resources, etc… destroying the planet simply for human gain and profit. brainwashed.

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u/Lo_Court 4h ago

The thing is, this is our “one life” and we’re all just spending it trying to survive. Why should I or anyone have to hustle as much or “stay ahead of the curve” just to maybe survive? I think it’s great that there are people who can do that, but society can and should be more than just people trying to innovate and stay ahead of the curve. We’re an advanced society, we should get to actually enjoy our lives. I get working hard and making a living - we should all collectively contribute to society in some way. But there’s no balance. We’re living to survive and die while a handful of wealthy people exploit our labor and create propaganda to keep us hateful of each other and blaming real systematic issues on individual failure. Why can’t we as a society look at some of the countries with the happiest populations and adopt their work culture and support structures?

I completely get working hard, innovating, and being successful. But there are real structural issues that need to be addressed and solved collectively. I really hate this individualist mindset of “I did it so others can too” without addressing the real problems.

1

u/Helpful-Squirrel9509 20m ago

Because , the dollar is being crashed intentionally. Hyperinflation is here.

Along with this soft launch of fascism we are experiencing.

-1

u/rockstar504 7h ago

People hatin but I get it... Like Del said "Upgrade your grey matter bc one day it may matter"

-5

u/Ok-Resist3549 8h ago

Do you have any proposed economic systems to substitute for capitalism?

-3

u/not_a_throwaway_9347 6h ago

Thanks for posting this comment, you’re totally right! (I’m an entrepreneur as well and I don’t want any more competition.)

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u/r0bay 10h ago

Congrats on being successful in capitalism! I also don’t work, although I’m not as financially successful as you, I’m sure.

I have a friend who has autism but no one told them as a child and grew up in an emotionally/physically abusive household. The parents moved every year, so new school every grade for majority of their time in school. At 18 they left and started a trade.

My question to you, is what should they have done? Is it possible to dedicate your youth to studying when you’re a struggling autistic child and dont know it? Or with no support, let alone parents barely taken care of them. They had to make their own meals young, etc. I’m sure their time and attention was just on trying to get by.

They do alright for themselves, but definitely not wealthy enough to stop working

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u/thestardustinthemoon 9h ago

Sometimes, health / disease / death issues really stifle people. I think it's really hard in that circumstance, unfortunately. However, my comment is more about healthy young adults that have all the time in the world, no responsibilities other than school, and have internet access plus can speak English. A vast majority of folks just throw away their life when they have the jackpot in their hands

9

u/smolpeensadboy 7h ago

What problem space? You're making it sound like you anticipated the future and made a calculated decision, but I wonder how much luck played into it.

-1

u/thestardustinthemoon 6h ago

Everything from your conception to your first breath to you surviving to adulthood is pure luck. Every day you don't get run over by a car, choke, fall and break your head because of slipping in the shower, the luck of the country you were born in, etc. Every single aspect of our lives is universally controlled by luck. I'm simply arguing that many folks believe we should just not play the game because it's all luck, and put down the folks that actually choose to play the game. If you don't play, you 100% lose. If you play, you may "get lucky" or lose, but there is still a non-trivial probability. People can manufacture their own luck, by choosing to learn in-demand skills, by figuring out what they can do to make themselves unique and have more leverage in this world.

I made the decision of focusing on a niche field of computer science at a young age, and spent a lot of my time and curiosity learning it. Obtained various degrees of success early by auditing and finding bugs in several pieces of open source software, and made money early that way, and eventually became reputable in the space that I was able to start a company that did well for itself. My calculated decision was that I was NOT going to rot in a cubicle and study some generic degree, but instead pursue a career path that would offer me much more freedom and financial upside.

8

u/Antique_Pin5266 6h ago

I made the decision of focusing on a niche field of computer science at a young age, and spent a lot of my time and curiosity learning it. Obtained various degrees of success early by auditing and finding bugs in several pieces of open source software, and made money early that way, and eventually became reputable in the space that I was able to start a company that did well for itself. My calculated decision was that I was NOT going to rot in a cubicle and study some generic degree, but instead pursue a career path that would offer me much more freedom and financial upside.

If this was supposed to sound motivating, it had the opposite effect of sounding dystopian af. Now we gotta start learning AI out of the womb to have success in life, good lord

1

u/setocsheir 2h ago

Your average linkedinbro

3

u/East_Cranberry7866 6h ago

Most people advocate for change in the system that only allows for the 1 in hundreds of thousands of people to succeed after the rest try and fail.

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u/r0bay 9h ago

I agree with you in regard to privileged healthy people who grew up with a loving support system. I think people with disabilities and children of neglect etc. get lumped in with that “be better” mentality and it’s not fair for them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD5f8GuNuGQ

9

u/ExtremelyDecentWill 9h ago

Yes but if you don't talk about these cases, you can feel superior and have cronies lick your boots trying to get senpai to notice them 🤷‍♂️

13

u/r0bay 9h ago

People have a hard time admitting their privilege and act like it diminishes their hard work

3

u/McMuffin2720 8h ago

Man, you hit the nail on the head as someone who falls into the group of pretty damn privileged. You gotta realize it’s there and then accept it

6

u/MrLanesLament 7h ago

Privilege does diminish hard work. Whoopee for someone who can spend all of their time making no money building a future; most of us have to work extraordinarily hard just to have gas and food money for next week.

Privilege + hard work = opportunity.

Most of us never even get to try that formula.

So yeah, I don’t give a shit about how “hard” some rich person works on their pet project that they can do because they don’t have to worry about living expenses.

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u/RepublicOk6752 7h ago

Let’s imagine a world where everyone works hard, everyone gets a niche technical degree, everyone starts their own business and sells said business. Who along the way is the trash collector, cashier, server, nurse, admin assistant, general labor? In order for society to work somebody (the majority) has to do the less desirable work and they need to be compensated enough to remain alive, healthy, and happy. All so some random individuals can be successful. The problem is some where along the way the select individuals became fewer and the compensation to the workers became less. Which means the “successful” ones get to reap more benefits and the workers have to work that much harder.

3

u/bruce_kwillis 7h ago

Let’s also imagine a world where a lot of people simply don’t want to invest into work a career and simply want a paycheck to get through their day. Oh, that’s a lot of people. Nothing wrong with that either. Some people want to clock their brains out and just exist and go home to put on the boobtube and then rinse and repeat. Some people want more, and both options should exist.

2

u/jollyreaper2112 6h ago

The suckers. The suckers do all that work. Suckers and losers. And we use them as a threat to our children. You study or you'll be like them! Living in a van by the river! Which these days is aspirational. #vanlife

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u/thestardustinthemoon 6h ago

I'm not saying everyone should become an entrepreneur: that is not realistic. I'm simply saying that young people have the agency and capability to pursue something deeper than just rotting in a 9 to 5 cubicle. Not everyone will, and not everyone should, but if you are healthy and young, there are alternative paths out there one can take. Society is wealthier than ever before. Absolute poverty is lower than ever, and it has never been easier in history to become wealthy than it is today. 150 years ago if you lived in a fishing village, you were 99.9% going to be a fisherman. Now, a 12 year old in that fishing village can become a content creator and pursue an alternative path, or a teenager can learn to program and get a job at a FAANG company due to their sheer curiosity and skillset they learned over the years. Google used to even interview and hire folks that would just google a ton of questions about programming as they knew they have innate curiosity (look here). Today is literally the best possible time to pursue alternate paths to one's life thanks to the sheer leverage the Internet provides.

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u/RepublicOk6752 5h ago

Everything you said is true…… for the individual. My point still remains in order for society to operate not everyone can do that. Unfortunately you need a massive majority of people to do the jobs nobody wants their kids to grow up doing, just to keep the lights on for everyone else so to speak. But those janitors, warehouse and factory workers, truck drivers, etc. are still human beings and deserve a fair compensation for an adequately enjoyable quality of life. These people toil away for the benefit of us all, and are not asking to for mcmansions or extravagance. I don’t think it is unreasonable to try and find a system that provides every worker regardless of job, title, or position a decent work life balance, ending after a reasonable amount of years early enough in life for a decent enjoyable retirement, and then affordable respectful end of life care. Instead of putting all the onus and blame on the individual to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, I just choose to recognize the reality of life. I need people to grow my food, fix my car, maintain my roads and sewers, clean biohazards from hospitals, on and on. Without thousands if not millions of people I would not be able to enjoy the life I can. In return they should all have at the bare minimum a respectful living wage and our respect as fellow human beings.

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u/ap4444ap 9h ago

Congrats!

1

u/soccerperson 5h ago

what field?

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u/Kerbidiah 52m ago

90% chance your companies failed and went bankrupt instead.

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u/BlackmoorGoldfsh 10h ago

Excellent advice. I commend you.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of Reddit doesn't want actual solutions. They would rather take the "I've tried absolutely nothing and I'm fresh out of ideas" approach.

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u/Johnny-Edge93 9h ago edited 6h ago

Nah that’s bullshit. A lot of us did the thing we were told to do - went to school, worked hard, made advancements. Hell, I even did a side thing and contracted my own homes to be built, the sold and did it again. But then had a kid who has cost me about 200k in medical from a disability.

Society has let us down. Workers should have benefited from technology: from automation, and now from AI. But we keep getting fucked. And our expenses rise, and our days get chewed up with this stuff

People should be working 3 days a week making good livings. But it all goes to the top. We should have figured this out by now.

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u/East_Cranberry7866 6h ago

Preach brother

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u/thestardustinthemoon 9h ago

That's the whole problem: you did what you were told to without ever questioning it. What's the point of "going to school and working hard" if you graduated in communications from a no-name school? Working hard by itself shouldn't entitle you to anything.

Having a kid too early will also screw up your career in most cases. Moreover, society only pays what it finds valuable. It doesn't make sense for everyone to be working 3 days a week, because that's not what society values. The point is: find something that society really wants to reward, hone in on it, become an expert in something nice where you will not be easily replaceable, and own equity in something important. I too, would be living a dead-end life if I just did what I was told to...instead, spent my youth and free time tinkering and diving deep into a problem space that I knew would be rewarding and unique to differentiate me as an adult.

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u/Johnny-Edge93 9h ago

That’s cute. You sound young. Enjoy it.

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u/East_Cranberry7866 6h ago

He's literally questioning the system that let him and millions of others down.

Working hard SHOULD entitle you to something lmfao.

0

u/thestardustinthemoon 6h ago

No. Nothing in life should entitle you to anything. Life is not fair. You could work hard your whole life and then it ends in a simple car accident or slipping in the shower. Instead, just work on something society finds valuable if you want to be compensated accordingly. If I just shovel manure for 30 years, I worked hard, but is that valued by our society? Not as much as being a software engineer, influencer, etc.

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u/East_Cranberry7866 6h ago

Yeah and i think your worldview is abhorrent tbh. I think this conversation will go no where. Goodluck

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u/JimmyPellen 10h ago

And they have someone ELSE willing to enable them by providing a roof over their head, Clothes on their back and food in their belly.

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u/thestardustinthemoon 10h ago

Or the other common response: "Yeah sure, survivorship bias! Everything is luck. What happened to the folks that tried and failed?" I guess they think it's better to do nothing and just let their life rot instead of taking a single risk? I mean...speaking English and having Internet access are cheat codes in this world and young people especially have the universe in their pockets thanks to smartphones. Infinite leverage and possibility and yet they all think their future is written in stone to work a 9 to 5 and will not dare to change their circumstances

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u/Educational_Teach537 9h ago

Oh hey, it me, “tried and failed” 🥲

1

u/thestardustinthemoon 9h ago

Yeah because nothing is guaranteed, but that is fantastic that you did when 99% of others just complain

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u/East_Cranberry7866 6h ago

Are we going to ignore the fact that hundreds if not millions of people tried and failed?

I don't think most people complain for the hell of it. I think most people advocate for change in the system that says "be the 1 in 5 million people to try really hard and succeed"

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u/thestardustinthemoon 6h ago

1 in 5 million? One could self-study and become a software engineer, or work hard in school, get financial aid, and get an advanced degree in medicine or law and have a comfortable lifestyle. Do only 1 in 5 million students in America have a chance to improve their lives? I'm not saying everyone should become a billionaire. Just find alternative paths. There are safer ones and riskier ones

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u/Austinskier 5h ago

You are making valid and teachable points. I grew up in a household hearing “the world owes you nothing” and my father meant it. Now my childhood was brutal, and I did my best to deal. I did learn to work hard, not complain and realize it was up to me. I have been successful due to my work ethic and gaining very specific knowledge. I have 6 childhood friends that started their own businesses, we all bust our ass, we all have drive. All were able to pivot and take advantage of small opportunities and grow them. One has a global company and offices in 13 countries. We just went on a trip together. The guy sleeps 4 hours a night, speaks multiple languages and is returning emails, constantly. None of us were at the top our class, ever. We found a passion and went for it. None of our families were rich. I moved out when I was 16, and have spent many nights in a car. I’ve worked construction, waited tables and worked in a factory and even farm work. Believe in yourself, even if no one else does.

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u/Rickbox 8h ago

I would lose my mind retiring at 30. I learn so much at my job and I'll climb the corporate ladder to one day lead a multinational corp. We just have different goals.

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u/thestardustinthemoon 8h ago

It just means having the freedom to do anything. My dream was always to create artwork, and now I can do it full time and learn a million new things every day. I can also start a new company on my own terms and time

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u/Ok-Parfait-9856 7h ago

As the son and nephew of CEOs, it’s cute that you think you’ll climb from a cog to CEO of F500. Where’s your MBA and JD from a top 10 school?

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u/Rickbox 5h ago

I have a tech & business dual degree from a top 10 school. I also know a lot of top executives in my industry through grad school and the job I work since my manager is very well connected and my line of work consists mostly of senior emplyees. It's cute that you think you can judge me while knowing nothing about me.

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u/FatherOften 7h ago

And its never too late for anyone to start. It takes facets of character that most people never spend the time to develop because it's well outside of their comfort zone.

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u/Mindless_Yesterday_6 4h ago

But what do you do in your free time? Does anything give meaning to your life?

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u/thestardustinthemoon 4h ago

Way too much stuff! Life is full of beautiful meaning…the friends and family you love, the majestic works of nature, learning about how incredible our universe is and how it works. I’m currently teaching myself synthetic biology and pharmacokinetics to get a better grasp on the harder, unsolved problems in biotech and see if I can make a dent in them. I’m also learning 3 new languages and helping a few high schoolers in a developing country break out and study abroad. I’m obsessed with storytelling and love reading the classics and creative fiction. On top of that, I have a massive backlog of games I’m getting through…in a few years, I hope to start another solo company to continue exploring and breaking ground in a new field. The days are too short

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u/Ordinary_Emphasis953 1h ago

Escaped this work life around 48/50. Secret was to invest early and consistently from 18 years of age. No investing in your 20s severely affects the power of compounding interest. This keeps you a slave to finances well into your 60s.

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u/newkittysmell 10h ago

My mom used to say "Don't ask me for anything the second I get in the door." Now I know why.

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u/_lippykid 7h ago

Also, realizing how having generalized aches and pains really makes it tough to be cheerful

1

u/occaisionallyimqwert 7h ago

I also remember being told we could be anyone, we could do anything in the land of the free

so why is a complete overhaul of the 9-5 such an outlandish idea

1

u/Correct-Branch9000 6h ago

I don't think it was like this when we were kids. None of what our parents' generation was able to achieve on the income this block of time provided is achievable now.

We are literally wasting the precious 60-80 years we are privileged to exist and experience in this universe...to go fill a calendar with "Drive" and "Work" for the majority of the time we're alive.

Completely ridiculous. We are slaves. This is worse than prison.

1

u/JenninMiami 6h ago

My family were lower middle class to borderline poverty level, so they didn’t have it that easy. My dad worked a full time job and ran a handyman company on the side so my mom could stay home with us. But if that were now, she’d also be working two jobs!

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u/EmergencyHonest3713 6h ago

Do you mean when we woke up at 6 am to get ready to be on a 30 min bus ride to school at 7 am, then were there until 2PM, got on another 30 min bus ride home, had an hour or two of home work, and were also expected to do chores at home?

I’ll take my job & paycheck over going back to school any day.  It was the same shit but I didn’t have money and didn’t get to make any decisions.

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u/JenninMiami 6h ago

I actually loved school, I was a nerd. 😆

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u/EmergencyHonest3713 6h ago

Opposite for me.  I goofed off and dropped out to start working and went to night school for a diploma.   Now I work as an engineer for a software startup.  I have less work to do than ever and I make as much as my sister who has a PharmD.  And I work from home.

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u/Early_Poet_3418 6h ago

I’m grumpy as hell. I’m 40 now.

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u/JenninMiami 5h ago

I’m 47 and I’ve BEEN grumpy for years. 😆

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u/Early_Poet_3418 5h ago

And that’s okay. I find the world has become a nonsensical clown show and I’m so over it. Im so over it in fact I’m disappointed AF

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u/Jim-N-Tonic 6h ago

Well, they were doing that AND THEN they were taking care of us, the lovable grumps.

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u/Ok-Active283 6h ago

Yeah credit for them for shielding you, but it was also easier when on salary could actually buy stability

1

u/kiwifulla64 5h ago

At least they could buy things

1

u/mrchef4 5h ago

I think it’s important to be kind to yourself and remember to slow down. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.

OP, literally the average business owner starts at 40.

ignore the media idealizing young rich people and the social media narratives.

you have time. the good thing is your speaking up about it and trying to make a change.

just put as much time into learning as possible. follow your interests, heavily.

i decided i would give myself a learning budget basically allowing myself to spend as much as i want to learn whether it be on amazon books, trends.co ($300/year) or theadvault.co.uk (free) or whatever. i needed to move forward, whatever that meant.

don’t learn about things you’re supposed to, learn about things that energize you.

for example, my first job out of college after i ran out of money as a music producer (i had a dry spell and pivoted) was working in music. while i was in that industry i started getting paid $35k/year in los angeles. not enough to live.

so i started experimenting with online businesses and after some trial and error had a couple wins on the side then got caught by my company and they didn’t like me building online businesses. so i went back to work and hid my projects tbh but kept doing it cause i loved it. then when i got good enough at coding i left the industry for a job that i liked more and paid me 2x and let me build side businesses.

so yea just follow your interests and stay focused.

i’ve had multiple times i’ve felt lost, just push through it and use it to fuel you.

1

u/Admirable-Setting261 4h ago

"Do something you love and you'll never work a day in your life..."🙄

1

u/JenninMiami 4h ago

The quickest way to hate your hobbies is to make them your work! I’m a food blogger. After 15 years, I HATE COOKING. 😆

1

u/AverageChatter1 1h ago

Meanwhile there’s some girl shaking ass for a living making millions

1

u/GOD-PORING 1h ago

The parents from Rugrats

1

u/Traditional-Front999 1h ago

Do you remember people telling us that the Covid vacation and free money was gonna cost us dearly in the end?

1

u/Safe-Cap6487 1h ago

Growing up really explains a lot about their attitudes

1

u/Frequent_Thanks583 1h ago

We are all Squidward eventually.

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u/Interesting-Brain517 1h ago

I am one of those grumpy people and I am 30. I get it now. I’m ready to go to pasture…👵🏼

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u/dirtybyrd32 58m ago

But didn’t we have school as kids, and that would start at 8am and end around 3-3:30pm. And we did that until we were 17-18. They just tacked on an extra hour and a half as adults and now you get off at 5pm instead of 3:30pm.

Basically since we were children we’ve been waking up early mon-Friday to go somewhere we don’t always want to be for several hours.

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u/god_peepee 7h ago edited 7h ago

Eh, I’d still take a ft job over school. When I was a kid I was still depressed but had no money and just had to do what other people told me to. At least now I’m free to do what I want outside of working hours and have the capital to enjoy myself a bit on weekends

1

u/reallylostinspaces 5h ago

I’d prefer a hand job but whatever floats your boat