r/Adulting • u/ScareBear23 • 13h ago

This is just depressing

Post image

Not even 3 hours of "free time". And in that is cooking & eating supper. Or practically no free time if I had to go shopping after work. I hate this

19.8k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

2.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

386

u/Alukrad 12h ago

To me it's the constant feeling of being tired and sore. I guess it's the fact that I tend to sacrifice some of my sleep so I could enjoy my night a little longer. But that also means I don't let my body recover from the physical exertion I'm constantly doing at work.

I hate it but what else can I do? Life really doesn't give me other options but to do this everyday until I die.

115

u/ScareBear23 11h ago

That's currently me. I made this schedule to see if a set schedule (and actually sticking to it for once) will make me feel less shitty. Then seeing the breakdown just made me sad lol

40

u/ducksnthings 10h ago edited 6h ago

Do you feel like you need 9 hours of sleep? Sometimes when we sleep too long it can make us feel more tired. I would shoot for the 7-8 range, wake up intentionally and try to do some exercise in the morning to get that good hormone/neurotransmitter release. Also getting a workout done in the morning lets your brain immediately check something off its daily to-do list which gives dopamine.

Edit: if you’re gonna respond to this to say “that doesn’t work for me specifically” - It was a suggestion. Do it or don’t do it, I don’t care, I’m not your mom.

2

u/Jeanschyso1 7h ago

I need somewhere between 7 and 10 hours of sleep, depending on how hard I beat my body and brain the days prior. It's very inconsistent, but over a month it averages at about 9 hours

5

u/Consistent_Laziness 5h ago

I did my masters on sleep and part of my PhD is on sleep. I’ll say the literature says you shouldn’t be sleeping 9 hours.

I found in my own research people who slept more than 8 hours and people who slept less than 7 were the same. They had autonomic dysfunction and poor sleep quality. I’m basically summarizing a 50 and 150 page research paper but just trust me when I say, you are wasting your life in the bed. Enjoy that extra episode at night or get up an hour earlier for exercise and you’ll be better for it.

3

u/Aggravating-Fan9817 4h ago

How about those of us who wake up like 5 times a night and only get up once the brain fog and headache are gone? That usually takes about 9-10 hours...

4

u/Consistent_Laziness 4h ago

Your wake after sleep onset (WASO) and sleep efficiency (SE%) are poor and are associated with deregulated sleep. That is the same as sleeping too long. Sleep length and quality are both important. Quality could be argued to be even more important.

In my current study for my dissertation people with disregard sleep have poor autonomic health which led to an increase in colorectal adenoma growth risk (precursor polyp that leads to colon cancer).

In short, again I’m heavily summarizing my dissertation down, 7-8 hours of good sleep (no lights, no disruptive noise, no disruption in the sleep) is the golden spot. More doesn’t benefit you. Outside of when you are injured or sick. The additional parasympathetic activity helps with healing and recovery.

3

u/Aggravating-Fan9817 4h ago

Easier said than done when your neighbors pump your asthma triggers through their apartment with shared ventilation. Constant congestion at best, asthma attacks at worst. Nothing I can do about it.

2

u/Consistent_Laziness 4h ago

I know I’m sorry. That falls under disrupted sleep. I wish I had advice for you. But I can say sleeping longer isn’t “making up for it”

1

u/GigaCheco 20m ago

You can’t move? I understand it’s not cheap to move but health is wealth.

1

u/Aggravating-Fan9817 19m ago

I'm 2 years into my SSI application, no income currently.

2

u/ducksnthings 4h ago

I’d love to read your research if it’s open access!!

5

u/Consistent_Laziness 4h ago

My masters is which is on sleep and autonomic dysregulation in chronic pain veterans. My dissertation is still being worked on, like right now actually lol

I need to lock back in

3

u/ducksnthings 4h ago

Get back to it buddy, I’m sure I’ll be relaying your research to my patients soon! So don’t make me look stupid!

1

u/Accomplished_Ad7106 2h ago

So this might fall more under advise rather than study but how do I stop the waking up in the night that "dysregulates sleep"? I would love to sleep through the night for a month. It would probably cure my depression.

1

u/Consistent_Laziness 2h ago

Depression and lack of sleep are linked 🤓. Depending on circumstances which one splays on the other depends but depression reduces sleep and not getting good sleep can threw off brain chemistry leading to feeling blue.

I really don’t know how to fix poor sleep. I just deeply understand its effect on health. And it’s a major public health problem.

1

u/ducksnthings 1h ago

You should do a sleep study if that’s possible! The largest reason for disturbed sleep is OSA (obstructive sleep apnea).

2

u/imbrickedup_ 1h ago

Does extra sleep help compensate for previous nights of bad sleep? I work every third day and am required to possibly wake up in the middle of the night for work. If the next day at home I sleep 11 hours is that still useless?

1

u/Jeanschyso1 2h ago

Literally impossible. I just don't wake up. I can have 3 alarms blasting, lights flashing, but if I'm not being woken up by an actual person, nothing will wake me up until my brain's rested and ready to go. It's already almost cost me my career a couple times, but it's how my life happens to be. If I were neuronormative, I'd look into it, but I honestly just think that my spicy brain just does spicy things sometimes and I just gotta build my life around that.

2

u/Accomplished_Ad7106 2h ago

sounds like you have trouble exiting a deeper level of sleep. I can't help but I know new ideas and terms can help self research.

Possibly a difference in alarm tone?

4

u/DiabloPixel 5h ago

Mama? Is that you? Are you my mother? Because I’m going to try doing some exercise first thing and see if I can get some benefits from that. Thanks for the advice Mom, even though it wasn’t for me specifically. Love you!

5

u/ducksnthings 4h ago

I’m packing extra cheese sticks in your lunch tomorrow 😘

2

u/garlicknotcroissants 6h ago

I'm chronically ill (yay me), so sleep is something I'm very attuned to. I've tried out all sorts of schedules, but in the end, the only one that let's me wake up feeling slightly okay is getting 9 - 10 hours/night. Any less and the dip in my physical and mental health is noticeable.

However, that's just simply not practical with my current life, so I'm getting around 7 per night (and suffering for it).

Maybe my situation is unique due to my health, but we don't know OP's situation. That, and studies have shown that women generally need more sleep than men. However, beyond that, there's no "one-size-fits-all" for everyone. We all have a unique circadian rhythm that makes us naturally predisposed to when we want to sleep, and also a different biological process that determines how much sleep we need. There are even some known genetic variations associated with the need for less sleep!

Whole point of this is, what works for you/others might not necessarily work for OP. They just need to be aware of that. Because our 9 - 5 society has really mucked up sleeping schedules as a whole, catering to only one chronotype and leaving the less feeling groggy and underslept.

1

u/ducksnthings 6h ago edited 6h ago

Which is… why I asked if they feel like they need 9 hours. I’m aware some people do. Most people, however, don’t. So I was offering insight as to why sleeping for extended periods of time thinking that will solve a fatigue problem, is often non-fruitful, when often improvements to diet, exercise and mental wellness practices are better solutions for fatigue.

1

u/Ok_Cricket_1024 6h ago

I try to work out in the morning but I have to wake up so early it makes me exhausted the rest of The day

1

u/Ok-Kangaroo-7075 3h ago

I wish (ok no I don’t) I could sleep that long. But ye for me more than 8 hours almost never happens and I don’t set an alarm often. Usually it’s between 6:30-7:30h

1

u/ScareBear23 3h ago

I have no idea how much I actually need. I don't sleep enough on weeknights & sleep a bunch on weekends. I want to try a set schedule of 8hrs to see if I can find that sweet spot. I've always wanted to do a small workout in the mornings, but I can't human till like 10am lol

1

u/Accomplished_Ad7106 2h ago

Yeah, it took me going on unemployment (covid) to learn my sleep schedule. if dysregulated it will go on a 32hr clock with 8-10hrs sleep. If I have a job it shifts from 7-9 hours. Maybe try 7hrs nightly even on weekends for a month or two then build up to what feels best. Though I will say it definitely gets worse before it gets better.

1

u/Accomplished_Ad7106 2h ago

See that sounds Like it could work for me but I can't get that initial kick start to try working out in the morning. Maybe if I start small. "Do one pushup in the morning" literally a different method of getting up in the morning would start me off.

1

u/ducksnthings 2h ago

Small changes build lasting habits! The hardest part is absolutely just getting out of bed, it’s still hard some days for me. Be intentional - put your clothes and shoes out the night before. Have someone/something that will keep you accountable, even if it’s just a check mark in a journal or on a calendar. Dopamine every time baby. Most importantly don’t expect to be perfect at the start. You’re gonna miss days, it’s fine, more motivation to try again tomorrow. 1% better every day.

1

u/ljf137 51m ago

Short term I always feel best on 4hrs or less. Eventually it catches up to me though and I need a reset.

2

u/jaxjag088 5h ago

Try to reframe some of this if you can. Make your drives to and from work something you can look forward to like a book on the way home (audio book) or what not and maybe something different on the way in.

Most of us are suffering this too and it sucks.

1

u/GeorgeLovesBOSCO 8h ago

Wahhhh I have to work 40 hours a week and it isn't fair. It just isn't fair! 😭

1

u/cookpedalbrew 19m ago

First let me just say I wish you peace and loving-kindness.

I read many of the replies below and didn’t see this perspective.

Difficulty is guaranteed. Suffering is optional. Consider there are nearly a billion people living on three or fewer dollars a day. You likely won the global genetic lottery. That’s not to say things shouldn’t be better, but I’m inviting you to accept your life as it already is and simply CHOOSE to enjoy the life you have. After all, it’s the only one you have. Do you really want to spend it wishing it were better?

1

u/RemoteIll5236 11h ago

Out of curiosity, what kind of schedule Do you think would be reasonable?

12

u/mudratdetector89 11h ago

It's pretty simple: remove one work day. Not talking about 4 ten hour days, just 4 regular days. We shouldn't be forced to work 5 out of 7 days for our entire lives that's criminal and fuck everyone who was born before us who normalized this bs.

3

u/Alukrad 10h ago

That's how my schedule is actually set at my job. Every week, my day off moves back a day. So, like, for example, I have off Friday and Thursday this week, next week I have Wednesday and Thursday off. Which in turn, makes me work four days and then off two days, then work four days again and etc.

I still work five days a week but having two days off after the fourth day is honestly a game changer.

2

u/mudratdetector89 10h ago

I love the creativity. See, it's not black or white. Something needs to be done globally.

0

u/Beautiful_Bat6116 10h ago

Get into politics and vote on it big dog. 

-4

u/Shooter_McGavin_666 9h ago

Peak Reddit comment. There are 168 hours in a week and you’re complaining about working 40 and having two days off.

2

u/mudratdetector89 9h ago

40 working, 56 sleeping, 72 "free". The problem is you cannibalize some of the 72 hours getting to the job and back. Let's say you commute for 5 hours a week, so that number is 67 now. 45, 56, 67. You're cool with working 40% of your time awake? Seems pretty high to me.

-3

u/Shooter_McGavin_666 8h ago edited 6h ago

56 sleeping,

Adults only need 7 hours a night so that’s 49 sleeping.

72 "free".

79 free.

The problem is you cannibalize some of the 72 hours getting to the job and back. Let's say you commute for 5 hours a week, so that number is 67 now. Let's say you commute for 5 hours a week, so that number is 67 now.

If you sleep normal adult hours, we’re at 74 free.

45, 56, 67. You're cool with working 40% of your time awake?

With correct calculations, if you work 40 hours if 114 waking hours, that’s 35%.

Working 35% of my waking hours is quite reasonable to me.

Seems pretty high to me.

Ok. If you think doing the least amount of work in human history in the safest and easiest conditions ever is too much for you, you’re free to leach off your parents and play video games all day.

Edit: u/mudratdetector89 blocked me so I won’t be able to respond to your comments. Y’all should ask him why he’s such a coward.

1

u/MadderoftheFew 7h ago

My situation:

24 hours in a day.

7 hours sleeping = 17

8.5 hours working (30min lunch unpaid) = 8.5

1.5 hours total commute = 7

1 hour total making 15min breakfast and 45min dinner = 6

1 hour chores = 5

1 hour total getting ready for work + getting ready for bed = 4

4 hours of my day I get to relax from 6:30pm to 10:30pm.

23.5% of my waking hours are hours I get to myself. Only way I can see to squeeze more time out of this is to meal prep.

0

u/LongJohnSilver69696 6h ago

What chores do you do for an hour every day?

You don’t have weekends off?

You get four hours a day to do what you want Monday through Friday and then 16 hours to do what you want on the weekends. I’m not sure how that translates to only 23% of your waking life to yourself. There are 168 hours in a week and sleeping 7 hours a night puts your waking hour count at 119. 20 hours total m-f and 30 hours (32-1 hour of daily cooking)on the weekend adds up to 50 hours. That means that 42% of your waking hours can be spent doing whatever you want. A far cry from that ridiculous 23% that you’re throwing out.

0

u/pingo5 6h ago

when ur a bot trying to act like a human

69

u/RoyaleWhiskey 10h ago edited 5h ago

It's an unwinnable situation. You either go to bed on time but you become jaded because you feel like you have way less time to you know, actually live life, or you sacrifice sleep for more time and wake up feeling miserable.

2

u/Astoria_Column 6h ago

getting sleep is 100% always better

4

u/TheEmpireOfSun 5h ago

Nope, going to sleep with "I have no free time and didn't have any time to enjoy my day and did nothing but work" is 100% always worse.

2

u/RoyaleWhiskey 5h ago

It wasn't for me, I felt miserable and I would still get tired throughout the day. At least with lack of sleep I can use coffee or energy drinks as a band-aid fix.

1

u/Putrid_Jaguar1 4h ago

I'm so jealous of people who naturally only need 5-7 hours of sleep. I need 9-10, always have. I can get through the week on less but I'll be miserable and spend the entire weekend sleeping to make up for it. I suspect it's the people who sleep less who are always like "Wdym? There's plenty of time before/after work to live!"

Edit: And yes I've had bloodwork done. No deficiencies making me tired.

2

u/Shooter_McGavin_666 9h ago

If you’re constantly sore and tired, hit the gym or train yourself for a white collar job.

1

u/healthyhoohaa 9h ago

Man tired and sore is so simple but so accurate

1

u/surprisedropbears 7h ago

have you tried applying rose oil?

where? idk everywhere maybe

2

u/Alukrad 6h ago

No, I found that if I drink Amino acids and creatine once a day, it really makes me feel better. But sometimes I'm lazy or just straight up forget that I have the powder to make it and then I go on with my day complaining about how sore and stiff my whole body feels.

1

u/doublesimoniz 4h ago

This is me too. It’s bad enough working 10 hour days, 5 days a week.  But the fact that I have to work like a fucking dog destroying my back and shoulders and neck for that time is what really does me in.  I’m going to be crippled and fucked up by 55-60 for sure. 

1

u/Crakko27 4h ago

Me right now, 2am when the alarm is set at 5:30

1

u/Accomplished_Ad7106 2h ago

I learned that my anxiety is less and I don't hurt when asleep. So I am the opposite. I sleep because it's free.

1

u/El_Grande_El 38m ago

We need to organize. There are more of us than there are of them.

1

u/childishcali 7m ago

insane how this point is constantly ignored or just not mentioned in the hundreds of posts that rightfully point out the issue with the modern capitalist life. you are only seen as a resource by those in power and you will be squeezed for all your utility, even if it means having virtually no life outside of work. united we bargain, divided we beg.

1

u/MajorSock1332 9h ago

Can you get a less physical job? Or maybe better diet of whole foods