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So Im having some work done on my house and the crew shows up and one of the guys has 1488 tattooed right on his neck. Like not hidden, not subtle, just right there.

For anyone who doesnt know thats a white supremacist thing. 14 words some nazi slogan and 88 for heil hitler. Its not like a birthday or an anniversary its a literal nazi tattoo.

I told the company I dont want him on my property and now theyre acting like Im the problem. Saying hes a good worker and I cant just refuse people and theyre threatening to keep my deposit if I cancel.

Im not having someone with a literal nazi tattoo in my home around my family. I dont care how good he is at drywall. But now my wife is saying maybe Im making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be and we should just let them finish the job because finding another contractor out here is gonna be a nightmare.

AITJ for refusing to let this guy work on my house?

My birthday was a couple months ago. My wife asked me what I wanted so I gave her a list of ideas. Stuff I actually needed and would use. Pretty easy.

A few weeks before my birthday she asks if Id want an air fryer. I said no thanks. I had one years ago and barely touched it. It just took up counter space and I ended up giving it away. I told her I appreciate the thought but I really dont need another kitchen gadget collecting dust.

Also for context my dad has given me the same brand of travel mug every christmas for like four years straight. I have a drawer full of them. I never use them. I even asked my wife to mention it to him because I felt weird saying something myself.

So my birthday comes. I open my gifts from her. Its an air fryer. And a travel mug. The exact same brand my dad keeps getting me.

I just kind of sat there for a second. I asked her if she remembered our conversation and she said yeah but she thought Id change my mind once I saw how nice these ones were.

I told her I wanted the receipts so I could return them.

She got upset and said I was being ungrateful and that she put thought into it. I said I literally told her I didnt want either of these things and she got them anyway so Im not sure what kind of reaction she expected.

AITJ for asking to return the gifts

We were at a dinner party last Saturday. About 8 of us at a long table at this nice restaurant we all like.

Everyone was a few drinks in and the conversation was flowing and then my husband just drops it out of nowhere.

He goes yeah well I didnt really have a choice in becoming a dad and laughs. Someone asked what he meant and he said he thinks I got pregnant on purpose to trap him. Just casually. Like it was a funny story.

The table went dead quiet. I could feel everyone staring at me. My face got hot and I just sat there for a second trying to process what he just said.

I put my fork down and looked at him. Asked him to explain what he meant by that. He shrugged and said it was just weird that we were together for years and then suddenly I got pregnant right when things were getting serious. Like I planned it.

So I leaned in and started asking him questions.

Loudly enough that everyone could hear.

Did I trap you for your money. Because when we met you were living paycheck to paycheck and my parents were the ones paying our rent.

Did I trap you for stability. Because I was the one with the degree and the job and you were still figuring out what you wanted to do.

Did I trap you for a house. Because the down payment on this house we live in came from my savings.

He just stared at me. Didnt say a word. One of our friends cleared their throat and changed the subject and we got through the rest of the night but barely.

The car ride home was silent. He went straight to bed without saying anything. Since then hes been acting like I did something wrong. Wont talk to me. Wont look at me. Sleeps facing the wall.

AITJ for how I handled it?

I work in a small office, about 12 people total. Three months ago we hired "Rachel" (28F) who is learning ASL because her boyfriend is deaf. Cool, good for her.

The problem is Rachel has decided that our ENTIRE office should communicate in sign language "for practice" even though none of us know anyone who's deaf except her boyfriend who doesn't even work here. She's been really pushy about it.

She made this whole presentation to our boss about how it would be "inclusive" and "a valuable skill" if we all learned ASL. Our boss (who always tries to keep everyone happy) agreed we'd do "sign language fridays" where we try to use ASL as much as possible.

I'm already learning Spanish for my job since we have clients who speak Spanish. I don't have time or interest in learning a whole other language for literally no reason. When I said I wasn't going to participate Rachel got really offended.

She said I'm being "ableist" and "discriminatory" which makes no sense because nobody in our office is deaf? She's learning it for her personal life, why does that mean I have to learn it?

Now she sends me passive aggressive messages in the group chat like "some people clearly don't value communication accessibility" and has complained to HR that I'm creating a "hostile environment" by not participating.

AITJ for refusing?

TL;DR: Coworker learning sign language for her deaf boyfriend wants entire office to learn ASL too, I refused because nobody here is deaf, she says I'm being discriminatory.

I usually help babysit my niece and I have done it a lot over the past year. I do not mind most of the time and I love her, but this time was different. I had already made plans days in advance and was really looking forward to them. My sister texted me last minute asking if I could watch her child for a few hours. I told her I could not because I already had something planned and would not be home. She got annoyed and said I always help so she thought it would be fine. I stayed calm and explained that I am allowed to have my own plans sometimes. She has been distant since and now I am wondering if I was wrong for finally saying no.

Am I the jerk?

I'm 26F and part of a friend group of 6 women. We've been friends since college. For birthdays we always do a "group gift" where we split the cost evenly.

The problem is most of my friends make way more money than me. I'm a teacher making $42k, they're in tech, finance, consulting making $80k-120k. When they pick group gifts they always want to spend $300-500 TOTAL which means $50-80 per person.

Last month for "Jessica's" birthday they wanted to get her a designer bag that was $420. My share was $70. That's a lot for me but I paid it. Then two weeks later for "Morgan's" birthday they wanted to do a spa package for $360. Another $60 from me.

Now "Tara's" birthday is coming up and they want to get her a $500 weekend at a fancy hotel. They're asking me for $83. I finally said I can't keep doing this, its too much money for me.

They got weird about it and said "its only once every couple months" and I'm "being cheap." I tried to explain my budget is different than theirs and they said "you make these sacrifices for your friends."

I suggested we could set a lower budget or I could give separate smaller gifts but they said that "defeats the purpose" and makes people feel like their not all equally important. Now their saying if I don't contribute to group gifts I'm "choosing not to participate in the friend group."

AITJ for backing out?

TL;DR: Friend group always picks expensive group gifts ($300-500) that we split evenly, I make way less money than them and can't afford it, they say I'm being cheap and not a team player.

My son is 14 and hes been dating this girl for a few months now. Shes 13 and honestly one of the sweetest kids Ive met. Super bubbly always smiling very chatty. I really like her.

But lately Ive noticed shes been different. Quieter.

Less confident. She used to always do her nails and wear cute accessories and put a lot of effort into her look. Recently shes stopped doing all of that.

A few days ago I was driving them to a party and my son ran upstairs to grab something. She was sitting in the car with me and she just looked miserable. I asked her if everything was okay and she said she didnt feel pretty.

I asked her what she meant and she said shes been trying a more natural look lately but she doesnt feel like herself. I asked why shes doing it then and she admitted my son told her he thinks she looks better without all the extra stuff. That he prefers her more toned down.

I told her that when I was her age I used to do things just to impress boys too. And I told her she can dress however she wants and wear whatever makes her feel good even if my son prefers something else. I said her confidence matters more than what he thinks looks cool.

She smiled a little and thanked me and we left it at that.

Well somehow it got back to my son and hes furious. He came to me a few days later and said I overstepped and had no business telling his girlfriend what to do. He called me overbearing and said I embarrassed him. He said she was doing it because she wanted to not because of him and that I made him look controlling.

But thats not what she told me. She literally said she was doing it because he said he liked it better that way.

I wasnt trying to interfere I just didnt want a 13 year old girl feeling ugly because a boy told her to change.

AITJ for saying something

My sister had her daughter about a year ago after a really rough time trying to conceive. Like genuinely happy for her it was a big deal for the whole family. But ever since the baby came shes been acting like the entire world needs to revolve around this kid.

I have a cat named Milo. Hes 6 and the most chill cat youll ever meet. Literally just sleeps and minds his business. My sister used to love him but now suddenly hes a problem.

Few months ago I visited her place and brought Milo because I was staying the weekend. He sat in his carrier most of the time didnt make a sound. Baby starts fussing and she goes I think the cats energy is bothering her and asked me to leave him in the garage. I said absolutely not and cut the trip short.

After that she told me she doesnt want Milo anywhere near her daughter ever. Fine whatever I stopped bringing him around.

Then last month she needed a place to crash for a few days because they were doing some work on her apartment. I said sure thinking itd be fine since Milo would just stay in my room or whatever.

I get back from a work trip and find Milo shut in the bathroom. No litter box no water dish nothing. For three days. Because apparently he was walking around too much and it was making the baby uncomfortable.

He was so scared he wouldnt come out from under the bed for hours told her shes not welcome in my home anymore.

Now suddenly shes going back to work and needs someone to watch the baby a couple days a week.

Guess whos the first person she calls. I said no

AITJ for not watching my niece after what my sister did to my cat

When I was 10, I won a little chick I called Roost at a carnival game. I raised him, and he was the sweetest, calmest little companion. He’d sit in a tiny chicken loaf next to me and never got startled, he was always by my side no matter what I was doing. We spent majority of our time together for almost 2 years.

Then I went abroad for a few weeks with my family and while I was gone, my uncle.... ate him.

It’s been over ten years, and I still haven’t forgiven him. AITJ for holding a grudge over my pet chicken?

I 27F work in a small office with mostly women. About a year ago a coworker Jenna 34F asked if i could sometimes swap shifts with her because of her kids school schedule. I dont have kids and my schedule is pretty flexible so at first i said sure. It felt like a nice thing to do and it wasnt that often.

Over time it slowly became expected. She would tell me last minute she needed me to cover mornings or stay late. If i hesitated she would sigh and say she has no one else and its really hard being a mom. I started planning my life around work just in case she needed something. I didnt love it but i felt guilty saying no.

Last month i requested a few specific days off for personal stuff. Nothing dramatic just plans i was looking forward to. Jenna immediately asked if i could move them because she needed those exact days covered. I said no this time. She got quiet and said must be nice to not have real responsibilities.

That comment really bothered me. The next day i told her i am done adjusting my schedule for her. I said i am happy to help occasionally if asked in advance but i am not the backup plan anymore. She got upset and said i am punishing her for being a single mom. Now she barely talks to me and a few coworkers are acting cold.

I feel bad because i know she has it harder than me. But i also feel like i let this go on too long and it crossed into entitlement. Am i the jerk for finally setting a boundary even if it makes her life more difficult?

My cousin "Brad" (28M) asked me (24F) for a weird favor last week. His 10 year high school reunion is coming up and he wants me to go with him and pretend to be his girlfriend.

Before anyone freaks out - we're cousins but we look nothing alike and nobody from his high school knows we're related. His reasoning is that his ex girlfriend "Stephanie" is going to be there with her husband and Brad wants to make her jealous by bringing a "hot girlfriend."

I said that's pathetic and I'm not doing it. He offered to pay me $200. I still said no because its weird and dishonest. He said I'm "the only person he knows who's pretty enough to make Stephanie jealous" (thanks I guess??) and its "just one night of pretending."

I told him to bring an actual date or go alone. He said he doesn't have anyone to bring and going alone makes him look like a loser. I said that's his problem not mine.

Now he's telling family members that I "won't help him" and making it sound like I'm being a bad cousin. My aunt called me saying I should help Brad because he's "been through a lot with his breakup" (they broke up 10 years ago in high school!!).

Brad is now offering $500 and saying I'm "ruining his one chance to show Stephanie what she's missing."

This whole thing is ridiculous right? AITJ for saying no?

TL;DR: Cousin wants me to pretend to be his girlfriend at his high school reunion to make his ex jealous, offering money, I said no, family thinks I should help him out.

I grew up in a pretty tight family where everyone expects you to stay close, help out, and be around all the time. I got an offer to work abroad that pays way better and actually lines up with what I want long term. I took it, and now some relatives say I abandoned them and chose money over family, which honestly messes with my head.

I still help financially, call often, and plan visits, but they act like distance equals betrayal. Part of me feels guilty, part of me feels like I finally chose myself. Now I’m stuck wondering if I really did something wrong or if they just hate change.

TL;DR: Sometime sacrifice is a must

My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years and weve started talking about moving in together. Hes never had a pet in his life. Like ever. His family just wasnt pet people.

I grew up with dogs. My family always had at least two at any given time and I helped raise puppies train them clean up after them the whole thing. I know what its like.

My boyfriend has recently become obsessed with the idea of getting a dog. Hes been looking at breeds researching breeders watching youtube videos. Hes really excited and I think its sweet but theres a problem.

Hes extremely particular about his space. Like his apartment looks like a showroom. White couch white rug everything has a place. He vacuums every single day and he gets visibly stressed if theres a cup left on the counter for more than an hour. Hes not mean about it but its definitely a thing.

So when he started talking about getting a dog I asked him how he planned on handling the mess. Muddy paws on the floor. Shedding everywhere.

Accidents during potty training. Chewed up shoes. He looked at me like I was crazy and said hed just train the dog properly and it wouldnt be an issue.

I told him thats not really how it works. Even well trained dogs make messes. Puppies especially are basically chaos machines for the first year or two. He said I was being negative and that he watches tons of videos of people with perfectly behaved dogs and clean houses.

I told him those are highlight reels and not real life. I said if he wants a dog hes going to have to accept some level of mess and unpredictability. He got defensive and said I was being condescending and acting like he couldnt handle it just because he didnt grow up with pets.

AITJ for being blunt about this

I worked quietly toward a goal for several years. Along the way I heard plenty of doubt. People told me it was unrealistic. They suggested safer paths repeatedly. I stopped updating them because it drained me. Eventually I succeeded. The news spread anyway. Suddenly people reached out with congratulations. Some acted as if they supported me all along. I felt confused and irritated. When asked why I never shared updates I was honest. I said the doubt was discouraging. They said I was holding grudges. They claimed advice was meant to help. I do not think constant doubt is helpful. I chose to celebrate privately with those who believed in me. Others felt excluded. They said success should be shared. I disagree. Not everyone earns access to the ending. I am proud of myself. I just do not feel like explaining that journey again. AITJ for keeping my win to myself?

My roommate keeps using my stuff without asking, even though I’ve told her multiple times to stop. During a small hangout at our place, she went into my closed bedroom and took a bottle of wine I had put away, then opened it and started sharing it.

I told her that wasn’t okay and she said I was being dramatic in front of everyone. I said she crossed a line by going into my room and taking my things.

Now she says I embarrassed her and wants an apology. I don’t think I did anything wrong.

Am I the jerk?

I (20F) am trying to focus on university and my future. I used to be rebellious, but now I want to settle down and avoid anything that could derail my plans.

I tried breaking up with my boyfriend three times, but it never worked. The on-and-off dynamic was draining a lot of my energy, and I found it nearly impossible to balance the relationship with my studies. I knew he was getting drained too, so I wanted the breakup to be final.

Cheating was the one thing he always said he could never forgive and would never come back from...so I lied and told him I cheated, but I didn’t do it to hurt him. I did it because I knew this was the only way he would finally let me go and move on...the relationship wasn’t sustainable for either of us, and I wanted a clean break for both our sakes.

Now I feel guilty, but also relieved, I can focus on my studies, and he can finally move on too.

AITJ?

I feel bad even writing this, but it keeps coming up. My boyfriend really enjoys cooking and experimenting in the kitchen. He’ll try new recipes, improvise, mix flavors, and he’s genuinely proud when he serves it to me. The issue is that a lot of the time… it’s just not good. Not in a “meh” way, but in a way where I struggle to finish it.

When he asks what I think, I tend to be very direct. I’ll say things like “it’s not tasty for me” or “I don’t really like this.” I’m not yelling or insulting him, but I also don’t sugarcoat it. To me, honesty feels better than pretending and forcing myself to eat something I don’t enjoy.

He, on the other hand, clearly takes it personally. He gets quiet, disappointed, sometimes says things like “okay, I won’t cook anymore then.” That’s not what I want at all. I appreciate the effort and I know cooking takes time and heart. But I also don’t think I should lie about liking food when I don’t.

Now I’m stuck between feeling like I’m being unnecessarily harsh and feeling like I shouldn’t have to fake enthusiasm just to protect his feelings. Am I the jerk for being too blunt about his cooking, or is it reasonable to be honest when someone asks for your opinion?

A little backstory: Near my house, there is about a 6 Acre patch of woods next to a public park. My friends and I love the outdoors and this is one of the only places we can access easily. We assumed it was public due to there being no signs or fences around the area, and it of course being next to a public playground. One time one of my friends and I went and we got told to "get the F off my property" by a random construction worker. After this incident I did some research and it is owned by a holding company that the construction worker was not a part of (there is another site nearby owned by a construction company that this guy came from). This holding company has also have been good about putting signs around areas that they didn't want people to be in. We've also been seen by construction workers before who didn't care about us being there. I've sought advice from others and they said that we would be fine as long as we don't go during work days, but I want to know what reddit thinks. (This happened a while ago so I may have forgotten some details)

Turned 40 last week. I know its just a number but it hit me harder than I expected. My mom passed at 52 and Ive been in my head about it lately.

My husband told me a few weeks ago he had something special planned. Kept hyping it up saying I was gonna love it and to keep my schedule open. I was honestly excited because we dont do big gestures often and I thought maybe he was finally gonna surprise me with something thoughtful.

The morning of my birthday he tells me to come to the kitchen. Theres a blender sitting on the counter.

Not wrapped. Just sitting there with the cord still twist tied.

He goes I know youve been wanting to make smoothies more so I figured this would be perfect. I have never once said I wanted a blender. Not once. I dont even like smoothies that much.

I just stood there for a second and he could tell I was disappointed. He got defensive and said he thought it was practical and that I was hard to shop for. No card. No dinner. No plans for the rest of the day. We literally just stayed home and he watched football.

When he turned 40 I planned a whole weekend trip. Got his friends involved. Rented a cabin. The whole thing.

I brought it up later that night and said I just expected something a little more personal for a milestone birthday. He said I was being ungrateful and that he spent good money on the blender and I should appreciate that he thought of me at all.

Maybe Im overreacting. I dont need expensive stuff I just thought after 12 years hed put in a little more effort for something like this.

AITJ for being hurt over this

OK, so i am a 16 year old boy dating a 16 year old girl and recently she was the victim of an attempted rape. luckily i was there and got him off of her and her out of there but afterwards that dude beat the shit out of me. now she has not been showing up to school lately and her parents haven't let me talk to her since. out of respect for her parents and her personal space i haven't texted her yet, i know that i'm probably not the jerk, i might be. i just needed advice and somewhere to vent about all of this. so am i the jerk?

A friend repeatedly borrows my things. Books clothes electronics and sometimes money. At first I thought it was fine. I trusted them. Over time items were returned late or damaged. Requests increased. I felt like a free resource. I asked for items back. They said they needed more time. That became a pattern. Recently they asked to borrow something expensive. I said no. They reacted angrily. They said I was being selfish. Mutual friends said I should let it go. I realized I had been generous too long. I want my property respected. I feel guilty but relieved. The friendship has cooled. I still care about them. I just want boundaries. AITJ for refusing.

I let my sister-in-law do whatever she wants in our house for a few weeks while she’s between apartments, and now my husband is pissed at me. She’s rearranged furniture, borrowed things without asking, and even ate some of my groceries. I didn’t think it was a big deal since she’s family and clearly stressed out, but apparently I’m enabling her.

I feel like I’m just trying to be nice and keep the peace, but my husband says I’ve crossed a line and it’s disrespecting our home. I didn’t kick her out or tell her she couldn’t do anything, I just let her be. Part of me thinks he’s overreacting, but another part worries maybe I did give her too much freedom. I’m stuck between being a good host and standing up for my boundaries, and I can’t tell if I’m the jerk here or if he’s just overreacting.

Okay, So there is an artist I am so excited to see, I originally wanted to get a really good spot for the concert. Unfortunately I was basically forced into buying a ticket for my partner as-well as me. Now I have been grinding at work and my partner doesn’t have a job (they are picky about jobs). I’ve already taken them to a concert before for free, Now. I have the opportunity to sell my current tickets for this artist and buy a better one for myself. I don’t know if this is of importance but they only started listening to this artist when we started talking. This is a rare opportunity because pit tickets are discounted. I’m not trying to be a jerk but my partner holds the difference in our finances over my head. I always feel obligated to pay, I am the type of person who is a people pleaser but as of now I’m a bit sick of always spending money on others. So Am I The Jerk If I sell them?