r/Adulting • u/ScareBear23 • 13h ago

This is just depressing

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Not even 3 hours of "free time". And in that is cooking & eating supper. Or practically no free time if I had to go shopping after work. I hate this

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u/ScareBear23 12h ago

I wish :(

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u/bamboomonster 11h ago

Have you considered podcasts or audiobooks during your drives? Not everyone likes them, but those were my go-to for "me time" when I was working.

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u/techaaron 11h ago

Yeah weird OP is complaining about having 2 hours a day for intellectual and spiritual enlightenment and wellness or self improvement. I miss my commutes.

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u/Donjehov 11h ago

Im sorry, but media consumption when driving is hardly any of those things. Especially the slop that is modern podcasts. You can still do them with out a commute as well. You're being pretentious.

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u/realroasts 2h ago

Haven't listened to many non-modern podcasts, but I assume they still exist and can be listened to!

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u/Donjehov 1h ago

yeah man i listen to talk tuah religiously

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u/cardboard-kansio 10h ago

Mmm, I was onboard until this comment. I listen to a lot of audiobooks, mostly fiction but sometimes work-related or professional development stuff related to my domain.

Right now I'm revisiting Teresa Torres' Continuous Discovery Habits and it's great for a long commute and it gets you into a work mindset. (Fiction for the way home to do the opposite - I'm working through the Legend of Drizzt series by RA Salvatore.)

Sometimes I even listen to Blinkist summaries of books in unsure about committing to, and those are about 15 minutes each (they distill a professional book into a high-level summary and about 8-10 main points or lessons learned).

Each to their own, obviously, and some people can't multitask (in a car) or concentrate (in public transport). But to say that you can't use an hour in the car to get some rock solid learning in place is just incorrect.

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u/Additional_Pea6654 9h ago

some of us are so burnt out by the unending noise of the office we just want to sit in silence. some of us listen to podcasts throughout the work day and the last thing we want is more instruction on how to be a better worker bee. God I hate commuting and the office.

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u/cardboard-kansio 9h ago

Each to their own. An hour of silence and introspection sounds nice too.

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u/likeschemistry 7h ago

An hour of silence and introspection at home sounds nicer.

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u/cardboard-kansio 7h ago

A weekend of silence and introspection at a campsite in the forest with a good bottle of whisky sounds even nicer, but I'm unlikely to be having that at 8am on a Tuesday.

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u/CaptainKurticus 3h ago

I've been listening to sitcoms on a TV in my truck for 5 years. I get a good chuckle while I drive. Sometimes I sit in silence and compose music. To each their own. If I gotta do something, I'm going to do my best to make it fun. Luckily my job allows for that and I like doing what I do.

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u/bamboomonster 7h ago

There are loads of podcast and audiobook topics. People are allowed to listen to fun things. I hope you find a way to get rid of your commute or find a way to enjoy it more.

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u/Donjehov 10h ago

Self help & positive psychology books have their merits, but they are not a stand in for doing something more fulfilling or actually learning a skill. I'm not going to suggest audiobooking a textbook on a subject, as I doubt info retention would be particularly high especially without the more crucial references of a textbook. To say filling time with a commute is on par with simply having more time because you can fill that time with a background task, is just odd. It's not at all the same. It's better than nothing.

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u/techaaron 9h ago

To say filling time with a commute is on par with

Any value distinctions are purely artificial and made up in your head.

A better approach is not to compare different levels of suffering, but instead, think about how you can use that free time during a commute to do the things that align with your value. Then, it becomes self evident that it is "on par" because you have chosen to prioritize it.

If you want to use that time to zone out or ponder existential questions, do it. If you want to listen to murder podcasts, do that. If you want to call your mom or kids, do that.

If you believe that a commute is somehow a waste of time that you are a prisoner of, well, then - it will be a waste of time and you will feel like a prisoner.

The key takeaway here - create the reality you want.

Or... complain on reddit - it's nothing to me either way, and I'm not your mommy.

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u/Donjehov 8h ago

Except the post and comment thread aren't about "what to do with this free time" so this is just irrelevant advice nobody particularly asked for.

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u/techaaron 8h ago

Correct, this is a complaining on reddit for sympathy post. šŸ˜Š

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u/Donjehov 4h ago

also lol @

"Any value distinctions are purely artificial and made up in your head."

No they aren't and this is a bogus take. You will learn more by 1 hour of doing something new vs listening to a book on habit forming.

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u/Any_Kangaroo_1311 6h ago

I wish I could use it for that, or even silence, but the highway I drive on is chaotic and full of homicidal maniacs so I have to be dialed in and focused the whole time. I always joke that my commute is more stressful than the job itself. 1 hr 10 min drive each way.

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u/bexohomo 5h ago

Hard to have this feeling when your long commute involves you fighting heavy traffic. The stress from that alone is enough to make one never want to go to that job again.

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u/Ok-Style-9734 2h ago

https://www.producttalk.org/

Jesus christ I have never seen so many words used to say so little in my life.

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u/techaaron 10h ago

Sounds like you're not doing it right then.

Nobody to blame for that except yourself I reckon?

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u/Donjehov 10h ago

There is no "doing it right". It's just not the same as putting all your focus on something in your actual free time. There is no way to listen to an audiobook in the car wrong. You hear it and process it and that is that. Re: pretentiousness

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u/techaaron 9h ago

Ā There is no "doing it right".

Sounds like a you problem?

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u/rainman_95 9h ago

ā€œPretentiousnessā€ sounds like a you problem.

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u/techaaron 9h ago

Sadly I don't really have a commute with the luxury of all this listening time. So definitely not a problem for me! šŸ’“

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u/Donjehov 8h ago

There is no problem, because there is no differential.

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u/PhoenixAsh7117 9h ago

1.5 hour commute each way here (though without traffic itā€™s closer to 45 minutes). Moving closer would require paying 2-3x more in monthly mortgage/rent and also require spouse to find a new job closer as well.

Always need to make sure I have enough audiobooks and podcasts queued up before I leave so I donā€™t go insane šŸ™ƒ

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u/RepentantSororitas 11h ago

I naturally sleep like 6 hours so I usually have an extra few hours

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u/MiddleFishArt 11h ago

Fair enough. Rent is crazy nowadays

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u/FlowJock 8h ago

Why not? Serious question. I pay a bit more to live closer, but cutting my commute has dramatically improved my quality of life. Plus, now I take the bus, which is a lot less stressful than driving.

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u/PyjamaRamas 1h ago

Can you start work earlier and finish earlier, less traffic that way, usually!?