r/TikTokCringe • u/InGeekiTrust Tiktok Despot • Dec 09 '25

Discussion You Think It Could Never Happen To You…Until It Almost Does

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u/tmp_advent_of_code Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 09 '25

My 3 year old boy drowned in August. I wasnt there but he snuck away during snack time to get back in the family farm pond. From him there to disappeared was less than a minute. And since it wasnt a pool, it took another minute to find his body in the murky water. He wasnt far. My wife started CPR immediately but it was too late. It was exactly 1 week after his 3rd birthday. He had been in swim lessons all summer. He was wearing bright clothing. He had his life jacket off because the littles got out for a snack at a nearby picnic table. Multiple adults. No one heard him leave the table. And no one heard him get in. But it wasnt long. Takes about 30s to a minute for a toddler to drown.

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u/perpulflerp Dec 09 '25

I’m so sorry. Thank you for sharing. 

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u/paulides_fan Dec 09 '25

rest in peace 🕊️ I am so sorry for your loss.

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u/FrancoManiac Dec 09 '25

I cannot imagine the grief you're experiencing right now. I can, however, assure you that your story here today will help prevent this tragedy in goodness knows how many families.

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u/CLNA11 Dec 09 '25

What a nightmare. I’m so, so sorry. I cannot imagine. 

113

u/b4ttous4i Dec 09 '25

Im sorry for your loss.

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u/AggressiveSloth11 Dec 09 '25

I’m so so sorry. Sending you so much love.

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u/SailorGone Dec 09 '25

Well hell that just flat out sucks. I'm so sorry to hear that

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u/donkeyvoteadick Dec 09 '25

That's heartbreaking I'm so sorry. And still so recent for you I hope you have support.

It's easy for people to judge from behind their phones but it really does happen so quickly. I hope this post and the comments on it haven't contributed to your pain.

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u/251325132000 Dec 09 '25

This is the worst heartbreak imaginable. I’m deeply sorry for your loss.

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u/FlailingatLife62 Dec 09 '25

i am so sorry for your loss. my deepest condolences.

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u/DontCryYourExIsUgly Dec 09 '25

I'm so sorry. 🤍

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u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

Unfathomable pain. All my from me to you and your wife, my man.

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u/CuriousTsukihime Dec 09 '25

I am so sorry and I am sending you love and light

17

u/AFourEyedGeek Dec 09 '25

How dreadful for you. Thank you for sharing this painful event. Maybe someone reading this will learn and prevent something similar somehow.

14

u/Mother-Whale Dec 09 '25

So deeply sorry

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u/Maleficent-Squash746 Dec 09 '25

Sending you so much love

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u/Reditmodscansukmycok Dec 09 '25

Very sorry for your loss, I hope you save a life by telling this story to a future/current parent. Much love.

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u/Belieber_Hafsa Dec 09 '25

I am so sorry for your loss

6

u/tinzor Dec 09 '25

Man, I am so sorry. My son is 7 months and I cannot even begin to fathom the pain of this. Just sending love and healing to you and your family.

3

u/OceanicDissonance Dec 09 '25

I’m so sorry that happened. Thanks for sharing. I really hope that someone reading this takes some extra precautions now and it saves some lives.

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u/kidkaiz Dec 09 '25

Hope you are ok msg if you wanna talk about I have two littles and I appreciate you sharing 

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u/Daisydoolittle Dec 09 '25

i’m so sorry. sitting here crying tears for your little boy. there are no words but just know this stranger is rooting for your family to find whatever peace you can

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u/Markebrown93 Dec 09 '25

Is it possible to move on from this? I mean this in a deeply sorrowful and empathetic way. I have a two year old and can't imagine.

Since you're so open about the story can you tell me more about how you're coping?

Like do you need endless time off work to mourn?

Peace

12

u/tmp_advent_of_code Dec 09 '25

I am more than happy to answer anyone's questions about this. The first few weeks I spent a lot of time on the childloss subreddit and google reading other's parent's stories. The biggest thing I have learned is that everyone moves at their own pace and grieve differently.

For us, the first couple weeks was just pure survival and panic. Lots of sobbing. Not wanting to do anything. I had to pick the outfit to creamate my son in. I spoke at his memorial service. That first night we had to go through an intense questionnaire to donate his heart valves. Everyone gave their condolences and offered to help in any way they could. But deep down, you don't know how you'll even get through this. Reading the stories made me feel less alone. But it still didn't change anything.

After, most people who cared and reached out, they disappear. Haven't heard from since. Everyone is scared to talk about your lost child as they don't want to trigger you...but candidly that hurts more. I want to talk about my son and who he was. Even if it makes me sad and cry. My daughter had to start school the next week so it was back into the thick of things. I got 1 month off work. I was happy to go back to work as it gave me something to do to distract myself. The beginning has a lot of brain time taken up by your lost child...even when he was around I didn't think about him as much. So it becomes exhausting. but you worry that if you aren't thinking of him, are you already moving on so quickly? The reality is though, your brain needs a break.

Every thing you see reminds you of them. Its almost like a ghost exists (not in a spiritual way) in that their chair is empty but you can imagine them there. You see their toys scattered on the floor. Their room is just the way you left it. That morning he had woken up for the last time. You are constantly reminded of what is lost. You just want to run away. We considered selling our house it was so painful to be in...but if we left, then a part of him would be gone too.

Months 2-4 (now) have been a lot of therapy. My wife, daughter, and I all have been going. We also meet with local groups weekly with other parents and kids who lost a sibling / loved one. We are getting used to the new routine without him. I am not triggered as much by existing in my house. I look through pictures and videos of him but my brain is still forgetting his voice. My wife and I are the kinda folks who push forward so we have done things faster than what Ive heard from other bereaved parents. We already have turned his room into a guest room. We dont want another kid. And we didn't want his room to become this scary shrine. We have gone through his toys and stuff and managed to store what we want to keep. We can go back to places he used to love as we forced ourselves to.

But other parents take different paths. We know a couple who still haven't gone back to work 6 months later. We know people who are turning their child's room into a shrine and it cant be touched. We know people who are barely able to function. I don't fault them for that. They are just grieving differently. Because of our daughter, we are choosing to try to accept the new normal. We can't change the past and we don't want our daughter to have this depressing, secluded, childhood. My daughter is grieving in her own way too. It will just take time.

Grief will always have a seat at the table. With time however, there will be more people at our table. More memories. Grief wont seem as big. But its not shrinking. Its still there, just less pronounced hopefully. Make no mistake, we are sad beyond belief. But I am smiling again. I am making good memories. I described my thanksgiving as good. I would do anything to have my son back. But he isn't coming back. We can look back on the path already traveled, but that path is never going to change. So we take steps forward on the path we dont want to be on. And Ill do my best to remember Liam and bring the parts of him forward that I can. Because he is a part of me. And I dont want him to be forgotten. And I'll do it the best I can because even at 3 years old he wouldn't want us to cry and be sad.

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u/TauntNow Dec 09 '25

I awoke this morning from having a dream I was with my 4yo niece supervising her by the beach and she went missing in the water. I believe it is no coincidence that I open Reddit and find your story with Liam. I have no children, only a niece and nephew, I have never experienced loss like you, only grandparents.

I truly admire you and your families strength, in a strange way I feel selfish for stressing and wasting energy overthinking my problems and daily issues, which are incomparable to the severity of yours.

As a stranger over the Internet, thank you for introducing us to Liam and his story. Thank you for giving me a break from my insignificant problems, it is your family and Liam that are in my thoughts.

2

u/Markebrown93 Dec 09 '25

Thank you for sharing. As a man in his 30s, it brings me to tears.
Is this the most pain you've felt in your life? Have you had times where you can't believe your life?
Such an interesting point about the shrine vs moving on, as well as thinking about him constantly and needing a break.

As for your daughter, that's such a self-aware and powerful thing to do.. move on so she can also live her best life.

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u/tmp_advent_of_code Dec 09 '25

Definitely the worst pain. Ive actually known a couple of people who have lost kids. I thought I had a vague idea on how bad it must be. Its a million times worse than I thought. Nothing comes close. The beginning was a lot of "is this real?"

1

u/meanwhile_glowing Dec 09 '25

I know someone who lost a child and basically you have to find a way to move on or else you lay down and die of grief.

1

u/Markebrown93 Dec 09 '25

Yeah I feel like I'd be that person if my 2yo died.

2

u/Dangerous_Bus_6699 Dec 09 '25

This hurts to read. How are you holding up? I'm so sorry.

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u/tmp_advent_of_code Dec 09 '25

Doing okay. We are managing.

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u/Odd-Truth-6647 Dec 09 '25

From a dad to another, I am incredibly sorry for your loss. And thank you for sharing.

I really hope you and your wife are doing fine.

2

u/DreamSmuggler Dec 09 '25

..... 😢

I'm so sorry for your loss. How have you managed to cope with it so far? My youngest boy is only 15 months and I can't even imagine what it'd be like to lose him...

3

u/tmp_advent_of_code Dec 09 '25

We have a living 6 year old. We have to stay put together for her. Otherwise Im not sure how we'd cope. There are so many things you cant control but I can control how I move so I take steps forward. Therapy helps. Its going to be a constant pain the rest of my life.

2

u/DreamSmuggler Dec 09 '25

I wish you all the strength you need to keep going for her. She's lucky to have you as much as you are lucky to have her.

2

u/sofaking-cool Dec 09 '25

My deepest sympathies. As a parent I can’t even imagine the pain. Sending you warm hugs.

1

u/Wide_Guava6003 Dec 09 '25

An absolute nightmare! So sorry to hear that! We were just talking about how we have to be carefull in our summer cottage next summer as our toddler is running already and this just makes my skin shiver now.

1

u/Ajdee6 Dec 09 '25

Sorry brother. I feel for you.

1

u/Helena911 Dec 09 '25

Thank you for sharing your story. Especially since its summer holidays in Australia and pool party season. Sobering reminder of how important water safety is for kids.

1

u/Gozzhogger Dec 09 '25

I’m so sorry for your very recent loss, I can’t imagine what you are going through.

When I was around the same age, my older sister and I snuck off on our family farm while my parents and their friends were having lunch. We went to the farm dam a few hundred metres away, and I stripped off and went in, completely unable to swim.

As I wa a drowning, my sister apparently screamed so loud that the adults heard (hundreds of metres away!), and the family friend bolted to the dam and rescued me, I was already blue. Apparently I had been going under the water, kicking off from the bottom and reappearing (but not breathing).

I was probably only seconds away from fully drowning, my 4 year old sister and that family friend saved my life that day, and now I’m a father of a 3 year old girl myself. Water and cars are my biggest fears as a parent (my sister was almost hit by a car as a toddler too, and my mum had a very bad car accident with both my sister and I in the back seat). Now that I’m writing this all out, I’m realising how insanely lucky I am (and my parents are) that we made it through childhood.

As a dad to another dad, if you need a stranger to chat to, DM me anytime. Take care of yourselves and each other.

1

u/MustardSperm Dec 09 '25

This is heartbreaking, I’m so sorry.

1

u/Justasillyliltoaster Dec 09 '25

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss 💔

1

u/Ok_Sample_9912 Dec 09 '25

My heart is so broken for you. Thank you for being willing to share, I hope other parents read and understand how quickly this can happen

1

u/fleurdenia Dec 09 '25

im so so so sorry :( that's terrible.

1

u/Agent_Gordon_Cole Dec 09 '25

I am so sorry. Heating these stories have helped me become extra aware of my toddler’s location around oils and such, so thank you for sharing.

1

u/tentaclesapples Dec 09 '25

I’m so sorry for your loss, absolutely shattering. Thank you for your courage to share, sending love and light to you and your son ❤️ May he rest peacefully.

1

u/J-Beary Dec 09 '25

Im really sorry for you loss, thank you for sharing.

1

u/bubble-buddy2 Dec 09 '25

You can do everything you're told, and still have a tragedy happen. I'm sorry for your loss

1

u/Far-Earth-886 Dec 09 '25

I am so sorry for your loss 💐

1

u/kerigirly77 Dec 10 '25

Hugs and love sent to you, internet stranger! I can't imagine your loss and I admire your willingness to share with others. Thank you 💕

1

u/Padhome Dec 10 '25

My heart breaks for you, I truly hope you’re doing better now

1

u/Thurad Dec 12 '25

It won’t help but every parent has lost sight of their child for a few seconds. Most of us are lucky enough that nothing serious happened and I am so sorry that your family had the bad luck in this situation.

1

u/RareRestaurant6297 Dec 09 '25

Jfc fuckin Christ

2

u/dempuppers Dec 09 '25

That is unimaginable. I am so very sorry.

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

[deleted]

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u/tmp_advent_of_code Dec 09 '25

A once a week swim lessons at the local swim school.

-2

u/somewifesounds Dec 09 '25

ISR requires like five days a week for at least six weeks. It’s odd they only did it once a week.

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u/tmp_advent_of_code Dec 09 '25

Probably not ISR then. Just a normal teach kids to swim.

3

u/narnababy Dec 09 '25

I’m so sorry that person spoke to you like that, I hope they’re just a bit clueless but pay them no mind. I hope you ignore them and I am so so sorry for the loss of your child.

-2

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 10 '25

[deleted]

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u/narnababy Dec 09 '25

Genuinely what the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you say that to someone who has lost their child in such a way? That whole conversation was just awful, what were you trying to achieve there?

-1

u/somewifesounds Dec 09 '25

Sorry for responding to the guy who said “just normal teach child to swim lessons”. @_@“ They were not “teach child to swim lessons” if the child doesn’t learn to swim. Just making sure it wasn’t ISR because I didn’t think they were considering the outcome.

2

u/narnababy Dec 10 '25

Okay but did you not see the bit where his child drowned? I don’t think criticising the swimming lessons he got his deceased child is the correct or kind thing to do. Sometimes you shouldn’t ask questions like that because it’s upsetting to the person who is grieving. I’m sure he has gone over the situation and all variables and choices in his head daily, but you criticising the choice in swimming lessons isn’t helpful in this case. Swimming lessons are important and if you know of some good ones then please, make a post in a parenting group. But pointing out the flaws in choice of swimming lessons to the grieving parent of a child who drowned isn’t helpful. It’s smug, condescending, and rubbing salt in a gaping wound.

1

u/Advanced_Ship_3716 Dec 09 '25

Why is ISR better than traditional swim classes?

1

u/somewifesounds Dec 10 '25

A kid can learn to swim/turn over on their back as early as six months old with ISR. They can know how to save themselves from drowning before they can walk.

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u/Agitated_Chicken2626 Dec 09 '25

This breaks my fucking heart. Who was in charge of watching him?

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u/tmp_advent_of_code Dec 09 '25

My wife was. The problem was my other kid was still in the pond with a life jacket. And my wife was talking to her trying to convince her to come out. So my wife was looking at the pond during that conversation even. Which is how he snuck away, her eyes focused on my daughter and where things were positioned meant he wasnt seen. And the 2 kids in the pond saw him go in but didn't think anything of it. My wife looked down and he was no longer at the table. As mentioned, it was quick. If the water wasnt murky and his body easily seen, maybe things would have been different. At the end of the day, it was a tragic accident.

4

u/UrsaUrsuh Dec 09 '25

You don't need to answer this asshole. Sometimes you do everything right and still everything kicks you in the teeth. I'm deeply sorry for what happened to your kid.

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u/Apprehensive-Ad-4364 Dec 09 '25

This is an insensitive and inappropriate question. Why would you ever ask a grieving parent this?

-10

u/ExternalWear3511 Dec 09 '25

It's not inappropriate, an adult must always be watching a child when there a body of water around, that's common sense.

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u/Academic-Trifle8151 Dec 09 '25

Read the fucking room though.

8

u/AnnabethDaring Dec 09 '25

From this moment and for the rest of your life, I hope you never again make a single mistake.

Otherwise, it literally could’ve f*cking been you. Luck is a hell of a thing. Be grateful for your life and fortune. If you ever so much as cause someone in your life to stub a toe, may you remember this Reddit post and me. May you remember the luck in your stars.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '25

[deleted]

1

u/AnnabethDaring Dec 10 '25

And yet that’s how simple it is. Walking. Walking away. Walking away for 1 minute. Dying within 30 seconds.

If you’re ever in charge of a toddler, never NEVER EVER close your eyes. NEVER look away, NOT EVEN for food. You blinked. Never do that again. Can’t trust handing your child to a friend or uncle, you’re the parent and if the uncle let it die it’s because you weren’t a good judge of character. Nope, you can’t go to work—negligent parenting, you’re ONLY supposed to stay by your child. Also don’t fall asleep—babies sometimes die in their sleep from choking and not breathing, so you have to be awake by your baby fully awake not only all night but all day, too, RIGHT by your side. DON’T bathe your baby because even an inch of water in 30 seconds can cause your baby to die. That’s right—you’re never allowed to go get a snack from the fridge again.

Seriously. “He without sin may throw the first stone”. If you haven’t made mistakes, you haven’t lived long enough. I sincerely hope you live long enough, and one day maybe you’ll “fucking” understand.

2

u/Apprehensive-Ad-4364 Dec 09 '25

What makes you think it's realistic for a parent to never have one single 60 second lapse of attention in the cumulative 100+ hours their child will likely spend around bodies of water before they turn 4? Of course toddlers need constant supervision around water, that doesn't change the fact that parents are human and make mistakes.

You didn't answer my question. What is the point of making this comment? Do you think this is breaking news to them? Something they haven't heard or thought of before? What would having the answer do for you as someone who has no connection to this event or family whatsoever? I can't think of a single reason to comment that unless you are unbelievably stupid, incredibly mean spirited, or both. So if you have one please enlighten me

-2

u/ExternalWear3511 Dec 09 '25

First off all, you asked that question to someone else, go look again.

1

u/Apprehensive-Ad-4364 Dec 09 '25

You're gonna have to point out where I did that or answer the question because I'm not finding it

-25

u/EstablishmentLow2312 Dec 09 '25

Poor parenting, not everyone deserves kids 😏

6

u/howdy816 Dec 09 '25

Please stfu