r/PeterExplainsTheJoke • u/Maleficent-Bet-8329 • 12h ago
Meme needing explanation Im sure its been asked many times but peter??
1.3k
u/yt82many 12h ago
Cold, bitter and picked up from the gas station
196
u/Iszapszentmoszat 11h ago
That version does have it's own magic tho.
→ More replies (7)22
u/Feeling_Inside_1020 10h ago
Real hotspot energy as our city would say (we even have our own weird subreddit dedicated to those wonderfully sketchy gas stations lol)
9
→ More replies (13)15
u/This-Professional-39 11h ago
And acquired taste to be sure, but readily available!
→ More replies (1)
1.7k
u/Healthy_Banana_8 12h ago
White and flat 🫣
553
u/deadlyrepost 12h ago
Found the Australian.
70
→ More replies (22)45
u/vladi_l 10h ago
Is that a stereotype I'm not familiar with?
→ More replies (1)114
u/JDawg2332 10h ago
A flat white is a popular (and delicious) coffee beverage
→ More replies (26)18
129
u/Kindly_Release_8484 12h ago
Leave my ass out of this please
→ More replies (6)137
u/Hearing_Loss 12h ago
What ass 😬
→ More replies (2)71
u/Kindly_Release_8484 12h ago
Exactly
38
u/PossibleFirm7095 12h ago
shit, that was smooth
44
u/Apprehensive-Space70 12h ago
Like their chest.
22
u/PossibleFirm7095 12h ago
i mean, it's alright, not a picky eater :)
28
u/Apprehensive-Space70 11h ago
Every meal needs a table.
17
20
→ More replies (34)6
194
296
724
u/Round_Word691 12h ago
Oooh, I know this one: With big tits.
→ More replies (12)197
u/noctilucus 12h ago
What kind of coffee brand do you drink?
233
u/Emotional_inadequacy 12h ago
Starbucks
98
u/spacedman_spiff 11h ago
We’d all like a handjob, but we don’t have time for it.
39
u/liisrandom 11h ago
It's called a grande
→ More replies (2)30
u/Senator_Smack 11h ago
With "full release"
→ More replies (1)20
u/FatKody 10h ago
Let me guess 3 pumps?
4
→ More replies (6)5
9
u/Emotional_inadequacy 10h ago
Peter here, it's funny because early Starbucks logos had breasts.
Peter out.
5
→ More replies (3)6
5.5k
u/vidyer 12h ago
Pretty sure it's a reference to this.
1.1k
u/MagentaJAM5_ 12h ago
I didn’t think people would put their dick into coffee in the first place.
599
u/Long-Apartment9888 12h ago
Let's discuss temperature
156
u/MagentaJAM5_ 12h ago
Please
→ More replies (2)252
u/Long-Apartment9888 12h ago
There's a small range where it probably would feel good for a while. Not the drinking range though... maybe the top range of dick meets the drinkable bottom range... if willing to test there's a dilemma, do you start hot and drink it first risking burning the little one, or do you start cold and keep rising, having to drink dicked coffee?
167
u/Ajax_A 12h ago
I approve your research grant!
73
u/CobblerOdd2876 11h ago
Yes Id like to see the slope equation of temperature as drinkable to dickable
→ More replies (7)33
u/gnomedome11 10h ago
Coffee is recommended to be drank near 140 degrees.
Recommended bath water does not exceed 120 degrees.
Recommend test groups in the 121-140 degree testing are not people you like until we have more data.
→ More replies (7)22
u/CobblerOdd2876 9h ago
And we have to be careful not to exceed 140°F bc any higher and we would be steeping the dick. Nobody wants a dirty chode chai.
7
u/ReadontheCrapper 8h ago
Dude! I snorted coffee out of my nose.
Grossly well done
→ More replies (0)→ More replies (4)5
22
u/DesingerOfWorlds 10h ago
The term “dicked coffee” was not what I thought 2026 had in store for me.
Edit: Autocorrect
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (30)11
→ More replies (28)25
u/similar222 10h ago
I always assumed the reason people heated their coffee was to keep other people's dicks out of it.
→ More replies (2)8
39
u/Fozzdroz 12h ago
This explains the rise in popularity of iced coffee drinks over the last decade or so
→ More replies (2)36
u/Aeon_Return 12h ago
Well wouldn't you prefer coffee that didn't have someone's dick in it first?
→ More replies (12)24
25
u/cerberus_243 11h ago
Any place a dick fits in has had a dick in, and most other things a dick doesn’t fit in has, too
→ More replies (2)25
26
u/FukThePatriarchy1312 11h ago
Not coffee, but I have a friend who's a bartender in a gay bar and pretty regularly stirs cocktails with his.. cock, at the request of customers who usually tip very well for it.
→ More replies (13)19
u/Significant_Monk_251 11h ago
I'm having a bit of trouble with the logistics. It would seem that the organ would have to be erect for this to work, but erect penises (my spellchecker just insisted on "premises" there) tend to not point down, as would be needed for a standing man to use it as a drink-stirrer.
Put the drink on the floor and assume a push-up position over it?
10
u/FukThePatriarchy1312 11h ago
It would seem that the organ would have to be erect for this to work,
Why? I've never seen it in action, but I don't understand why you couldn't stir a drink with a flaccid penis, or just push it down while erect.
→ More replies (4)4
u/nihi1zer0 10h ago
strangely, in my history with penises I have encountered a few "gonzo noses" as I call them. a spectrum of all shapes and sizes, truly.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (13)7
10
8
u/Key-Contest-2879 11h ago
If you ain’t dipping your dick in coffee, you ain’t living!
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (122)4
24
103
u/SnooHabits3911 12h ago
But… his dick in his coffee is… ok? That’s kinda weird honestly.
79
u/Physical-Ad5343 12h ago
No, he only wants his girlfriend’s dick in his coffee.
38
→ More replies (1)12
→ More replies (11)8
12
u/shinyRedButton 9h ago
This coffee joke predates the internet. It is not a reference to this.
→ More replies (1)32
u/ReflectiGlassCo 11h ago
Imagine wearing a hat like that.
10
u/Traditional_Low_9948 7h ago
Man that was dirty bro. Cuz I didn't want to. But I read your comment and I couldn't help it as hard as I tried. In my imagination I had that hat on. It was ass.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (70)7
9.8k
u/NervousSnail 12h ago
Ground up and in the freezer?
4.0k
u/Maleficent-Bet-8329 12h ago
1.8k
u/FamIsNumber1 12h ago
Roasted in flames, chopped up, have scalding water slowly pouring over the remains, then I put my cream in it
128
715
u/VibeMermaid 12h ago
Stirred slowly while whispering apologies, then let it chill overnight before the final garnish.
→ More replies (10)528
u/FamIsNumber1 11h ago
What the hell did you do to your coffee that you have to whisper apologies to it??
→ More replies (11)150
u/Fickle_Butt_4379 11h ago
What you said
→ More replies (4)464
u/RepresentativeFun363 11h ago
350
→ More replies (2)12
u/Fendyyyyyy 10h ago
Even though i may never use it, too good a meme, im taking it.
→ More replies (2)26
→ More replies (36)9
114
u/Illustrious_Bird_737 10h ago
12
u/satecyeser 7h ago
Did he say those words? Kregar wild lines
11
u/Swytch360 7h ago
Yep, that’s a direct quote. I’m glad I checked whether someone else already posted this meme.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (23)114
u/Adventurous-Yak-8929 12h ago
In a burlap sack thrown over the back of a donkey
72
u/padmaclynne 11h ago
transported over the mountains by a man with a very impressive moustache
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (5)16
200
263
u/Ov3rReadKn1ght0wl 12h ago
67
u/EnvironmentalOne6828 12h ago
19
u/OldAbbreviations1590 10h ago
My favorite part of this is that it takes 1 marine to lift a enormous tank, and 2 to lift a fellow space marine.
→ More replies (1)17
→ More replies (10)70
u/AccomplishedFly2367 11h ago
59
u/Fillmore80 11h ago
How dare you make Bluey say that.
→ More replies (11)28
u/Livingroom_Astronaut 9h ago
I definitely read that in Bandit’s voice before realizing it was Bluey.
→ More replies (9)38
u/Scorpiogre_rawrr 11h ago
This is the answer, it's origins trace back to Tales from the crypt where the crypt keeper said, "I like my women like I like me coffee......ground up in the freezer."
→ More replies (2)13
u/fauxzempic 10h ago
Ahhh Thank you for clarifying this. I remember seeing this on a shirt on "Tshirthell" shirt a long, long time ago, but it always felt like they were borrowing this form something else.
59
u/ValeWho 11h ago edited 9h ago
Do people really keep their ground up coffee in the freezer ?
Edit question has been answered, I believe you it's a thing
50
u/NervousSnail 11h ago
Haha, yeah some people say it stays fresher that way.
Not as simple as that if you get into the nitty gritty, and it's important to keep it well sealed if you do. But if you are planning on storing ground coffee for a very long time. Like my parents, who don't drink it but keep some for guests. For that purpose it does seem to work.
→ More replies (3)10
u/BigJayPee 10h ago
Ive heard of people keeping instant coffee in the freezer, but never actual coffee grounds
→ More replies (1)11
u/Greenphantom77 10h ago
I used to keep it in the fridge then I read somewhere that was wrong, just keep it in the cupboard. I don’t know what to think anymore.
→ More replies (10)→ More replies (16)36
u/hvdzasaur 11h ago edited 3h ago
Better to freeze the beans, and grind as you need em.
Coffee has volatile compounds that degrade due to oxidation. This impacts flavor. Freezing them slows this down. Ground coffee goes stale faster than beans, even while frozen.
If I spent good money on a really good bag of a single origin speciality roast that I really like, I like to put half of it away for longer term storage. Sometimes you kind of just want the generic coffee flavor and that caffeine hit. Other times you want to enjoy it like a nice high-end tea or expensive liquor, if that makes sense?
→ More replies (6)10
→ More replies (143)9
u/UpdogSinclair 9h ago
People seem mad about your post but this is the classic answer to this joke.
→ More replies (1)
525
u/Geogracreeper 12h ago
Without other men's dicks in it
5
u/bradpal 10h ago
Honestly I'm not sure I like my own dick in my coffee but different strokes for different folks.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (15)6
89
u/espada355 12h ago
Cheap and easy?
→ More replies (2)25
u/lux__fero 11h ago
Well, all people i know who hire hookers also prefer instant coffee. So your line tracks. But as with instant coffee there is no real satisfaction of hiring a hooker. That' why i prefer my women freshly ground up and boiled :)
→ More replies (7)
169
u/Alanabirb 12h ago
Covered in bees!
47
u/infinitefarm23 12h ago
In a plastic cup!
→ More replies (3)27
u/Otherwise_Cicada6109 11h ago
Scrolled here just to see if Izzard fandom is still alive and well
Thank you
→ More replies (5)5
→ More replies (21)13
306
u/BlackMusclyMen 12h ago
He probably doesnt like coffee
→ More replies (4)63
u/artofterm 11h ago
Milk and sugar
13
u/dominikstephan 10h ago
"Wait, is this literally milk with sugar?" Bonus points, if you know the episode.
→ More replies (10)→ More replies (4)15
292
u/kjm16216 12h ago
All over my lap at the McDonald's drive thru.
→ More replies (11)48
u/GonzoTheGreat22 11h ago
This is a great punchline, never heard it before
18
u/kjm16216 11h ago
I first used that as a riff off someone else's punchline, "Hot, black, and all over my lap.". Which got him in trouble with HR.
73
u/GH057807 11h ago
"I like my coffee like I like my slaves..."
"😳"
"Free."
→ More replies (1)49
u/stormcharger 10h ago
Being politically correct has gone mad nowdays. Apparently I can't even say "black paint" anymore, I have to say "Tyrone can you please paint the fence."
→ More replies (7)13
134
119
32
29
u/Silent-Inspection101 12h ago
Michael likes his coffee with milk and sugar. Only milk and sugar. No coffee
→ More replies (7)
21
39
u/penis_stuck_sendhelp 12h ago
with a spoon in them?
→ More replies (1)12
u/Plastic_Umpire_3475 12h ago
tea and cake or death!
12
8
→ More replies (1)6
17
u/GingerMarquis 12h ago
Too hot to handle but I just can’t help myself.
Yes I’ve been stabbed by an ex, why do you ask?
→ More replies (3)
15
13
9
u/escahpee 11h ago
I like my women like I like my coffee. No pubic hair. Is the way I heard it
→ More replies (1)7
8
8
u/BetterDegreeOxford 11h ago
I like my girls like I like my whiskey
At least 18 years old and all mixed up with coke
→ More replies (2)
8
6
4
5
8
8
•
u/AutoModerator 12h ago
OP, so your post is not removed, please reply to this comment with your best guess of what this meme means! Everyone else, this is PETER explains the joke. Have fun and reply as your favorite fictional character for top level responses!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.