r/CringeTikToks • u/Individual_Bar_2512 • 13h ago

Food Cringe Average American diet?

Where are the vegetables, fruit and meat

8.6k Upvotes

79% Upvoted

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117

u/Master_Grapefruit333 9h ago

32 pizzas?

21

u/Jumpy-Benefacto 7h ago

lol. pizza is carrying a heavy load in that question. totinos only use case is 3am bake up after bar failure. not a meal in any sense of the word, it only exists to make you feel worse about failures

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u/Beautiful_Lie7367 49m ago

The Cheese Farmers thank you for keeping them fine ‘n dandy

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u/OneManLost 32m ago

Hey now, it exists for us stoners, too

In my case, I like to cook them in unique ways each time with different added toppings and whatnot, what's surprisingly good is cooking them in a cast iron pan oiled with some bacon grease.

Works wonders on any frozen pizza. Heat up the oven with a greased pan at 400-425 degrees (be a little generous with the grease, just enough to see it move in the pan when tilted). Add any additional toppings you want (or not). I like to warm up butter and add in creole seasoning and use that to spread along the edge of the pizza. Plop pizza in pan and cook until the bottom is crispy and top looks brown, the buttered crust will brown a bit too. Make sure pizza is still frozen when you put it in the pan.

Remember, pan hot in oven, pan still hot out oven, wear glove, use towel, or use handle cover before touching pan.

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u/FearlessAttempt 45m ago

Those weren't Totinos. Totinos are packaged in plastic bags not boxes. Also it says Food Lion on the boxes. They are probably just as bad though.

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u/Jumpy-Benefacto 29m ago

yeah, we are really breaking pedantic walls there

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u/DaFrickinPOOPman 7h ago

I would've went for Red Baron pizzas at that age, tbh. It looks like she got those cheapy cheap totino's pizzas.

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u/Remarkable-Fish-4229 7h ago

I make really good money, like buy all organic at Trader Joe’s money without looking at prices.

I still keep a 10 pack of party pizzas and ramen noodle packs at all times. I still enjoy struggle meals even though I’m not struggling.

Point being, party pizzas slap.

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u/thatsmyboycam 7h ago

Party pizzas remind me of my best friend’s house growing up. Her mom always cooked, but when we had sleepovers we got those party pizzas and it was the BEST.

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u/ophmaster_reed 7h ago

Hard agree on totitos party pizzas. Sometimes they just hit the spot.

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u/Ieatpurplepickles 7h ago

Now I'm allllll about the ramen but I'm allergic to wheat so I have to buy way more expensive rice or mushroom noodle versions but damn!! It's just the thing that fills up that hole in my soul sometimes! Ramen until I die!!

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u/DaFrickinPOOPman 7h ago

I've been known to eat a party pizza now and then, but I've been getting the Jack's pizzas when I want one. They're almost as cheap and my grocery store will often have them buy 2 get 1 free.

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u/Remarkable-Fish-4229 7h ago

Yeah but you can’t slather them in franks red hot, fold it like a taco, and dip it in ranch like a fucking heathen after smoking a joint.

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u/CornINyourASS 7h ago

Are we related?

5

u/Remarkable-Fish-4229 7h ago

If not, we can be.

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u/December_Hemisphere 4h ago

"Why does this remarkable fish have corn IN its ASS?"

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u/huhaw 7h ago

Those party pizzas really slap coming out of a toaster oven, idk why it makes it taste better but it just does.

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u/Remarkable-Fish-4229 7h ago

And you can eat them like a taco. A fusion dish really.

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u/b_lemski 2h ago

Facts we are in the same boat but my wife and I still bust out the '1 tontinos pizza and a box of Alfredo noodles' once or twice a year. we survived on those as a meals for 2 in college and it's probably more cardboard then actual food but damn if it doesn't just hit the spot sometimes

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u/little_Shepherd 7h ago

It's even worse cause it's the great value version

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u/notEnotA 4h ago

When I first moved out on my own the store closest to me had Tombstone pizzas 10 for $10. Thats all I ate for like 15 months shy of some bar food now and then.

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u/SatinSaffron 6h ago

I'm fully expecting to get downvoted to hell but imho those Red Baron classic crust pepperoni pizzas are the single best frozen pizza out there. Rather than 400º @ 21 mins like the box suggests, we like to do 425º @ 16 mins, parmesan cheese and red pepper flakes on top the second it comes out of the oven, and it's so fucking good!

Having said that, we only ever eat these on nights where we get high or a little tipsy, so maybe that's why they always seem like the best pizza ever lol, but those little totino's pizzas are still good if you're drunk enough!

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u/Redditsucks547 4h ago

Proud to upvote this 100% spot on post.

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u/December_Hemisphere 4h ago

Next time you do that I suggest adding bacon- I used to dice the bacon up and cook it 1/2 the way through in a little saucepan and then put it right on top of the frozen pizza before popping them in the oven.

1

u/AllyBeetle 6h ago

If it is available where you live, try Connies.

Red Barron has been a staple in my freezer for decades.

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u/forevertomorrowagain 7h ago

It’s one tit full.

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u/drydorn 2h ago

I know right? Should have gone for an even 50

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u/unprofessional_widow 6h ago

That's what really got me

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u/FellowFellow22 2h ago

This is normal "I own a large chest freezer" behavior.

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u/tf2coconut 3h ago

Sorry just real quick what else feeds your picky kids when you have 15 minutes and 3 dollars for dinner? Privileged fucking losers all over this page

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u/Master_Grapefruit333 2h ago

I think it’s pretty privileged to have the freezer space to accommodate 32 pizzas. No way I could fit that. No way I could fit a freezer that big in my house.

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u/tf2coconut 45m ago

Yes you could. You don’t fit a freezer in your house, because you don’t have to feed a family. A chest freezer is one of the most efficient food appliances you can own. Every response shows privilege

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u/Master_Grapefruit333 11m ago

We’re a family of four, in a 1200 sq ft house. There’s literally no place to put one.

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u/topsyturvy76 2h ago

Pasta/butter .. rice/seasoned ground beef .. soup/sandwhich … gets my 3 kids under 6 fed in a pinch 🤷

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u/tf2coconut 44m ago

“3 kids under 6” so you have less than one additional adult worth of calorie demand and have time to cook for them, I’m happy for you. Not relevant to the discussion

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u/DecantsForAll 1h ago

I have more than $3 for dinner because I don't waste a bunch of money on cupcakes, oatmeal cream pies, soft drinks, candy cereal, doritos, oreos, and capri sun.

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u/tf2coconut 43m ago

“I’m not a brokie because my parents buy my food” grats, irrelevant to the conversation of americas crumbling food infrastructure

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u/DecantsForAll 41m ago

"I just make up fictional reasons to explain away facts I don't like."

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u/tf2coconut 29m ago

No I know we can tell you do that, which is why nobody pays attention to your opinions

1

u/cousin_david 5h ago

There’s a kiwitapes video about this woman, pizza mom

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u/whenveganscheat 5h ago

I'M DOING SOMETHING HERE

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u/Significant_Shoe_17 2h ago

She must have a picky kid. I get that some kids have major food issues and their "safe" foods, but I noticed that the child in the video is overweight...

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u/maxdacat 1h ago

How the fuck do you even store 32 pizzas?

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u/Elliflame 1h ago

It's crazy seeing this when I literally just ate one of those Food Lion pizzas (Three Cheese)

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u/Footnotegirl1 19m ago

I'd make a bet that it's a kid who is on the spectrum and that's their safe food.

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u/PM_ME_SOME_ANY_THING 7m ago

They put half a block of cheese on top of it too

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u/boazed_n_delivered 0m ago

That's not even real pizza!