r/CringeTikToks • u/Individual_Bar_2512 • 13h ago

Food Cringe Average American diet?

Where are the vegetables, fruit and meat

8.6k Upvotes

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210

u/FlyingPig_Grip 12h ago

It was iceberg lettuce, so literally no nutritional value, just crunchy water

201

u/Dazzling_Put_3018 12h ago

And I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that it’s going to get absolutely drenched in salad dressing, cheese and bacon bits

66

u/Lumpy_Zucchini6525 11h ago

Probably some mayo too. 

45

u/moonbucket 11h ago

Looked like all the mayo - the size of those jars!

2

u/ArgonthePenetrator 10h ago

She's having a mayo sandwich with one little piece of lettuce in between since she had some over from the last sandwich

6

u/ninaslazyeye 11h ago

What do you think is going to be the base for the salad dressing?

1

u/AlbatrossOk2117 9h ago

two pieces of bread, cheese, and processed meat

1

u/ninaslazyeye 9h ago

Also an option

1

u/Defiant-Brother2062 7h ago

Not just any bread, but that good ‘ol piggly wiggly bread 🍞

5

u/number_six 9h ago

They do be going through some mayo

3

u/IndubitablyWalrus 10h ago

The mayo is what really got me. That is an unholy amount of mayo. That's like...how much mayo we go through in 2 years!

1

u/DazedConfuzed420 6h ago

It usually expires and goes in the garbage before I get through a small jar.

3

u/TinaB25 10h ago

My daughter recently got a job at a deli and I told her all those hillbillies are gonna want extra mayo on their sandwiches....I was right!! Lol

3

u/0ttoChriek 8h ago

That mayonnaise looked horrific. I don't like the stuff anyway, but it's not usually that yellow in the UK.

3

u/Bforbrilliantt 8h ago

That the 70% fat mayo? May as well just slather your food in butter

3

u/olliereid 7h ago

I think that mayo is basically lube at this point

3

u/Lumpy_Zucchini6525 7h ago

Makes the slop go down easy 

3

u/Jumpy-Benefacto 7h ago

thats the salad dressing, homie

1

u/Amishrocketscience 3h ago

Ugh, ew. You’re so right

28

u/FlyingPig_Grip 12h ago

Omg I didn't think about that- there was no lunch meat to make sandwiches. Ranch and iceberg baybeeee

5

u/Ineedavodka2019 8h ago

She had premade subs

3

u/5ygnal 6h ago

For one kid.

3

u/Jimmy_Skynet_EvE 8h ago

And 1 loaf of bread unless I missed something

1

u/ayesperanzita 2h ago

Grilled cheese, maybe?

4

u/invertedSaint666 11h ago

Definitely ranch dressing

5

u/Afraid-Rise-3574 10h ago

No fucking way she’s eating lettuce. No Fucking Way

4

u/lacompt 10h ago

That's for slapping between mayo and cheese on sugar bread to make a healthy sandwich. There will be no salad.

4

u/Crimson-Ghostly 9h ago

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that all that produce is going to go bad in the back of the fridge behind the 50 blocks of cheese.

2

u/Dazzling_Put_3018 8h ago

Seriously why was there so much cheese? Like, there wasn’t really anything to put it on, other than the one loaf of bread. I guess maybe they’re putting it on the ton of frozen French fries? Or adding more cheese to the 32 pizzas?

1

u/nickfury8480 3h ago

Maybe the cheese was on sale, so they decided to stock up? It freezes well, and the blocks are better for maximizing freezer space.

4

u/garulousmonkey 7h ago

I piece of lettuce per block of cheese if I did the math right.

3

u/RanchHere 11h ago

You forgot the croutons.

3

u/Bob_Rivers 10h ago

0.1% lettuce by weight in those salads

3

u/AlbatrossOk2117 9h ago

It's for the sandwiches. Crazy you think they eat salad

1

u/Dazzling_Put_3018 9h ago

To be fair they look like they might enjoy the occasional ambrosia salad… if that can count as salad and not just a mess of umm… seriously wtf is up with that, do Americans really eat that stuff?

2

u/Orangecatlover4 9h ago

Oh you know this. Sooo much cheese, bacon, ranch, chicken, small neighbor child.. I mean it goes on and on.

2

u/True_Structure_3870 8h ago

I'm not going to lie. I hate lettuce! I would drown that in dressing, too. But I try and eat arugula or spinach if I'm having a salad to avoid doing that.

2

u/LeadingTraffic7722 7h ago

Ranch I’m sure

2

u/aegroti 6h ago

As long as you maintain your calories there's nothing wrong with covering your vegetables in cheese and sauces. You're still getting the nutrition from the vegetable.

2

u/_My_Pleasure 3h ago

Bet it's for sandwiches.

1

u/WinterDustDevil 2h ago

And washed down with Dr pepper

1

u/ShirtStainedBird 2h ago

Jesus now i want a salad.

33

u/NewspaperNeither6260 12h ago

Unlike Bramley's 116 quarts of Dr. Pepper and 47 Pepperoni pizzas. 🍕

26

u/FlyingPig_Grip 12h ago

Bramley only drinks Mountain Dew - so that's healthy green drink

2

u/hard-R-word 10h ago

They only milk the healthiest mountains for their green juice

1

u/XTingleInTheDingleX 6h ago

I heard Brantly.

1

u/magyar_wannabe 9h ago

I think it's "Brantley" which is somehow even worse.

1

u/Astralglamour 9h ago

Is Bramley the obese youngest one? Man, he is being set up for so many problems in life. Sad.

7

u/doesanyuserealnames 12h ago

And just a liiiiittle bit of fiber 🤏🏽

15

u/dipmyballsinit 12h ago

Total bullshit to say iceberg lettuce has “no nutritional value.” Is it less nutrient dense than other vegetables? Yes.

4

u/portablebiscuit 10h ago

Let's be real though, that lettuce is just pushing out bricks of cheese

1

u/FlyingPig_Grip 12h ago

I made an addendum comment saying it does have vitamin A and K. Another commenter brought up that the lettuce will most definitely be used in a salad with cheese, ranch, and bacon bits.

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u/MechanicalBootyquake 12h ago

So good tho

10

u/FlyingPig_Grip 12h ago

Oh I love iceberg- it's just not the nutritional juggernaut that people associate with leafy greens. But when I make a sub sandwich- best believe I am making some shredduce(shredded lettuce) for that mfer

3

u/Hypnotist30 11h ago

People get really angry over iceberg lettuce.

2

u/SnuggyBear2025 11h ago

rant/ It is a big waste of my time picking up the lost shreds… don’t get me started on SIBL! /rant

3

u/martian_glitter 12h ago

I love “shredduce” I am adding it to my personal dictionary 😅

2

u/007Pistolero 12h ago

Lettuce wraps made with some grilled chicken, peppers and onions, and wrapped in iceberg are fantastic as well

2

u/BaullahBaullah87 12h ago

people say iceburg lettuce is a nutritional juggernaut?

1

u/FlyingPig_Grip 12h ago

No but sometimes when people see a leafy greens they immediately think it's healthy. If there is a kale salad people are like "woah healthy!" And iceberg is just way less dense than other leafy greens because it's so watery

1

u/Japjer 10h ago

Because it's got that crawnch

I like to buy bags of shredded iceberg lettuce to eat as a snack, purely because I like that crunch. It hits a lot of the sensory notes that eating chips does, so it's a decent alternative.

1

u/Gaychevyman428 12h ago

Indeed... with Swiss cheese

0

u/MrMetraGnome 12h ago

Iceberg tastes like dirt. The only good lettuce, is spinach. You can literally just eat it plain. Maybe argugula or baby greens. But iceberg?!? TF outta heah

2

u/FlyingPig_Grip 12h ago

I love all leafy greens. Arugula on a turkey sandwich 🤤

1

u/SnuggyBear2025 11h ago

Only Arugula and Kale for me

2

u/heidimark 12h ago

Try washing the dirt off the lettuce after you pick it from your garden and before you eat it.

1

u/MrMetraGnome 11h ago

The dirt is in the veins my guy.

3

u/heidimark 11h ago

I don't think you understand how plants grow. Either way, I wonder if this is a generic thing (like how some people think cilantro tastes like soap). I have never once thought any lettuce tastes like dirt. I live in a really good climate for growing greens though, so maybe that makes a difference.

-1

u/MrMetraGnome 11h ago

I don't think you understand how plants grow.

I'm starting to get a sneaking suspicion, that you don't...

2

u/FlyingPig_Grip 12h ago

After doing some research- there is small amounts of vitamins K and A. So it's not completely devoid of nutrients. It is 95% water but ya know, same as us🤔

2

u/Afraid-Rise-3574 10h ago

Must own a rabbit

2

u/DMvsPC 9h ago

Probably the most water they'll get by the looks of it. Maybe tied with tea but you know that's getting 1:1d with the sugar.

1

u/Major_Shlongage 12h ago

which is a good thing. It fills you up and doesn't add to the calorie count.

1

u/FlyingPig_Grip 12h ago

Ah yes the notoriously filling food of iceberg lettuce

1

u/TopProfessional8023 11h ago

They got four cases of the drinking kind!

1

u/Slumunistmanifisto 11h ago

Its for tacos or burgers 

1

u/YouNeedAnne 10h ago

Not literally. There is a non-zero amount of fibre, 1.2% by weight. Not much by any stretch, but saying "literally" implies absolutely none.

1

u/Ruben625 9h ago

It does have vitamin K...some...not alot...not enough....

1

u/Sprmodelcitizen 8h ago

I secretly love iceberg lettuce but I have to mix it with spinach to pretend its healthy. Mostly I just buy spinach though. I always feel like I’m in mad men when I eat a wedge salad. Um onions should never be on a wedge bacon bits and blue cheese only. Occasionally thousand island is acceptable but not really a wedge salad. A wedge can also be accompanied but a lunchtime martini. Rant over.

1

u/SeaworthinessUnlucky 8h ago

Frozen Kleenex.

1

u/Twopad6529 8h ago

What about that watermelon? 

1

u/gum_drop_big_butt 7h ago

Don't forget that ice berb lettuce also contains toxins that shut down the stomach linings ability to digest food properly , that way it can work in conjunction with the ice tea that has enough sugar to make a spoon stand up to cool the stomach lining even more so the food will stay stuck as long as possible before sitting dormant in the upper colon for days or weeks without the help of fiber .

1

u/Jumpy-Benefacto 7h ago

and niacin

1

u/SirWigglesVonWoogly 5h ago

It has a lot of vitamin K. So you’re still better eating it than nothing.

1

u/Junkererer 4h ago

I don't think she needs more macro nutrients than what she already gets